Brother went for chalet . For once , he left the laptop at home ... I tried and tried and tried ... Wanted to upload the messages ... to copy and paste them ... Yes , I've found a faster and quicker way ... Was so stupid to copy every single message on pieces and pieces of paper and to type them out again . Why ? Yes ... everyone who knew or saw ... they will ask me why . Who knows , maybe they would even think that I am being stupid ... Too deep . Oh well ... Habit ... I had got use to it .... My heart just breaks one suddenly one of the message got deleted by mistake ... or by my parents . Why ? I also don't know ... Ever since being with you ... it had been like that ... I still remember the times ... when you would think of me ... Message me ... But now ????? Even thought I knew that there was simply NOTHING on my phone ... no miss call , no message ... I would still check my phone a thousand and one times ... Behavior excess . I am just not use to you not messaging me ... You used to do that ! I've counted ... 20 messages in a day .. Now ? 2 ?? Maucks ... I love you ... I am waiting ... Waiting for you .. You knew it ? Or you don't ... No !!! You should have known ....... I've dropped enough hint .... Or maybe .... You just don't know and I need to spell it out ???? 1/1/2008 .