I hope that I passed my this English Common test . The questions asked were not that thought , but I guess the Summary part would pull my grades down , as usual . Got to sit for another test .... Math ! It's a re - test . And yes ! It's the test which I am the only one from my class who had failed the simple test ..... ( Refer to the post on 23/07/04 ) I am the only one who got to sit for re - test as the rest of my class passed , with flying colors . Handed in the test paper to Mr Goh personally and at once , I knew deep down in my heart that I could never score HIS target ! He pointed out so many CARELESS mistakes to me right on the spot ! He still could asked me - What is your target ... My reply was - Just pass the test ....... And he said something like - 30 ? No ... Your target is 40 out of 60 . After he pointed out so many mistakes of mine , I am very sad to say that it would be a miracle if I pass the test . Getting 30 out of 60 . Rushed back home to change before going out again with Mother to eat lunch . Went for Chinese Tuition from 2 pm to 6 pm .... It's quite long , but I was assigned to do some assignment only . So , maybe , I change my aim for my GCE O level Chinese to a B or a C ? Rather then a F9 ? ( Refer to what took place at the tuition centre - post entry on 18/07/04 ) Rushed home to have a short dinner before having another tuition from 7 pm to 9 pm ..... The tutor was actually hired to teach me Language . But I asked Math questions . When Mum found out about it , she made a fused .... Can't she accept the fact that I am weak in Math ? I am so lousy that I am the only one who sat for the Math re - test in the afternoon ...... Sigh . No one would understand ........ Not even my parents ...It's the very opposite of what Bear King told me - I have my family members to count on . Yar right ! Look whose scolding me all because I am weak in Math ? And since my dear Brother got a A for his GCE O level E Math and A Math , would he understand how I feel ? I doubt so !

It's the busiest day I ever had ! To start off , my dental appointment and Chinese dance practise fell on the same day and at the same time too ! Plus , some Hong Kong and Taiwan students are coming to our School durning lesson time . Ai Hui and I were to present some Power Point slides done by a Chinese Teacher to them . The presentation went quite well , with Ai Hui being the most talktive among us . They were being brought around the School after that . Went they came back from the tour , Ai Hui and I were to the presenter again . The powerpoint slides for this time is not as simple as the last cause it's all in English ! Tawan and Hongkong do not really understand English as so , it gave us a hard time persenting ........ But it went quite well ..... There's Chinese Dance practise again . And it went alright ...... After those tiring practises , I went for a small Bible Study with Viven , the leader of the Class , Yi Sin , Kai Xin , Jollie and last but no least , ME ! Could have met him today only if ........

Again , it's the time to get back our Math Common test paper . Well , a gance at the Test Paper is enough to refresh my memory of what took place on the day of the test , how I go to know my result before the others and how I eventually know how to do those sums . ( If you want to know , go and read the posts on 17/07/04 , 23/07/04 and 24/07/04 ) Ai Hui and I become friends again , even thougt we did not talk as much we used to . But what angered me was that Ai Hui lend Hazel her test paper . Hazel got 45 out of 60 and I got only .... 27 . I know , Hazel asked Ai Hui first . Or rather , Hazel asked Ai Hui while I did not open my mouth . Never see a need to since the paper is no longer within my reach . Ai Hui should knows pretty well that I need the paper . I did told her that I was the only one in the class who failed that test . And she knows that I got to sit for a re - test . I told her at once when I got the news form Mr Goh ! If I do not use her paper for corrections , I use whose? Plus , I need to sit for a re - test while Hazel do not need to . I am sitting for the re - test this coming Saturady . Hazle dose not need to rush ! Judging by Hazle's grades , dose she need anyone's paper to do corrections ? Thought Hazel always hang around with Hui Ming , Xiu Ling , Li Xin they all ? All of them passed the test , surely ! Not to say , with flying colours ! Thought Hazel is their best friend ? Hey ! All of them passed that paper . And who knows , migth even score higher then Ai Hui ! Go and borrow from them ! Why snatch from me ? It surprised me that I found out , there were tears in my eyes right at the moment in the MLC . It even shocked me that I hardly talk to Ai Hui for the rest of the day . If have , only some yes / no question . Guess the renewed friendship of mine and Ai Hui is going to sink again ..... Readers of my post , say , who needs Ai Hui's test paper most ? During ACES , Ai Hui asked me what is on my mind . I replied in a dreamy tone , " You should know , a lot of things .... " I was thinking about the Common Test Paper incident which took place in the morning ........ I felt I am such a failur that I need my friend's paper in order to learn while others no need to ... Okay , my classmates need to copy corrections of the test paper . But at least they all passed ! How about me ? The laughting sound of Ai Hui , Meiqi , Hui Min woke me up .... It was then , I relize that I spoke too loud .... for Mr Goh gave a " HUH ? " ! I laughted a little ....... But deep inside my heart , I was wondering if he knows what I am talking about . Mr Goh made me day worst by asking us to write on a piece of paper what we wants to be when we grow up . I was thinking about education when he make me think much deeper then that ! Yar .... I will RE- consider about my future , when I manage to pass my Secondary 3 Okay ? Or when I pass my GCE O' level .... He even asked us to write if it is our own dreams or is it our parents' ..... Parents ...... I suddenly became very moody thoughtout the day .

The ship of mine and Ai Hui was still sinking ... I believe that it was sank . But I do not need any ship .... I only need one thing - Desitny Cries ! But it should be - Mu Jie's cries .... or Mu Jie's crying ... A young adult came to my school to promote his published book titled Besitny Cries . I brought it as once during recess ! Reading is my hobby because I would never get lost in those stories . But during Math lesson , I was so very lost in what Mr Goh is trying to educate me ! But it is not anything new , is it ?

I had a fight with Ai Hui ... I do not really know what happened . But who cares anyway ? I know , if Ai Hui is not my friend , the I would be friendless in the class . But , NO ! I would not be friendless neither would I need her friendship ... For my survial in 3E5 lies with my relationship with God , not some friendship with her ! Fight ! But it arn't going to affect me ! I was in such a good mood and even went to Jurong East with my dear Bother . Fianlly , after how many months , our Windows 2000 is useable ! We do not want to owe a XP as it could be easily contect virus . Our next stop was the Popular . But , in the mainwhile , I brought an ice - cream to share with my Brother .

Went for that STUPID Sophia's tuition again . Was told by Mum that the tuition would end by 11 am . But guess what ? I was dismissed at 12 pm ! Arn't it an excellent tuition centre ? I was very angry that I've decided that the more they want me to get an A1 for my 0' level Express Mother Tounge Paper , the more I would do my best to get a F9 to show them ! Trust me ! Went to Church . Made a new friend - Yi Sin . She took bus 99 also ! Hey Hey ! Spendid ! At last , there's someone to board the bus with me ! Most of my Cell Group members lived so far away and all of them took the MRT back and fro . Another best part is - Brother came to my church ! But , his arrival was after the servise ! I hanged around with Yi Sin while Brother hanged around with James ! Brother and James met before , all thanks to me ! They played some games with other guys from the Cell Group lead by James . Went to eat Lamb Chop with my Brother at a Hawker Centre near my home after we left the Church . Brother fed me with those mouth - watering pieces of the westen meal !

Early in the morning , I went to find Mr Goh , but Mr Khor said he was not in . Fine then ! How many more times dose he want for me to look for him ? I flunked the Physic test . I do not really know how to draw those drawings . I went to find Mr Goh again once I was dimissed . Finally ! " 2 days already , you should return me $18 . " " I looked for you yesterday at 4 pm plus .... But Mrs Ong told me you were not in . " " 4 pm plus ... I was still around . " " I don't know .... " " You go and do the notice board , okay ? " " Um .... 0000kkkkkk . " I went to do the notice board as what I said . But I stood at the corridoor . Suddenly , I saw a figure at my right . It was Mr Goh ! Argh ! I walked back to my classroom and did nothing . When I finally was allowed to go , before the notice board was done , I went to the folyer . As I had asked Lydia to hang around with me , before I go for my tuition at 1.30 pm . I just do not want to go back home , even thought it's just a 5 to 10 minutes walk . I do not want to go home because of one reason - Mum is the only one at home . Lydia needs to do the Girl Guides notice board in the centeen . I helped her ..... with Mr Goh just a few metres beside us ! Argh !!!! After we are done , Lydia went to get our bags from the folyer as I stayed at the centeen , eating fries . Mr Goh walked passed and commented said " Finally see you eatting . " " HUH ? It's just a plate of fries ...... Um , Mr Goh , can I have a look at my Math Common Test ? ( The one which I am the only one in the class whom had failed the test refer to the post on 23/07/04 ) " I went to looked at all the silly mistakes I've made . I could say things nothing .... I was dumbfolded . I only got 27 over 60 . 3 more marks only ! I did not even know that everything which times 0 is 0 ! Worst still , Mr Goh said I got to get about 40 marks for the retest ! I could not even pass the test , and yest he wants me to pass more then 10 marks ! It's too much to ask from me ... Haiz ... I WALKED to tuition . It's a long distance . But nevertheless , I just walk . I do not know ... I just feel lost or somethimg . Everything is in a mess , I mean . All thanks to Mr Goh ? Really , I do not think I can make it ... 40 marks ? Went for tuition ... it did not go well either ! From 2 pm to 6 pm ! Sleeping already !

" Liao Mujie ( Han Yu Pin Yin )... see me during recess ... you know what right , you know what I want to see right ? " Mr Goh said early in the morning . I was shocked ! What he wants ? I knows that I do not have my school badge . I lended my current badge to Man Ling's friend , while another of my badge was in the classroom ( It was raining before that and I left my whole bag in the class , excellent move of mine ! ). Normally , Mr Goh would just say , Mu Jie , where is your badge ? I want to see it after school / durning recess or something like that . Fear gradually enshrouded me till the point when I relised that I was in for trouble . My heart pumbed the blood twice the normal rate of pumping . I was scared , I smell a rat . I do not know what happened . I was lost in my own thoughts ....... Help me !!! Argh ..... The period just before recess was Chemistry . We were doing practial to test for soubility of chemicals . I was on my way back to my branch when Miss Ong told my classmates to help her keep the chemicals . Since I passed by there , I offered to lend a hand . I helped to close all the bottles of the chemiclas we used for experiments . I was closing the Iron , Fe3+ when suddenly , a drop of it went into my right eye . At first , I do not care , I just carried on closing the another bottle of chemicals ... But those borning science lessons I had during my first year at Yuhua kept ringing in my mind . " If any chemiclas got into contect to your eyes , you MUST report to your teacher at once and wash it with plenty of tap water . " And the worst thing was - I was wearing contect lens since my glasses had been spoilt by my one and only Brother ! But , the truth was - my contect lens did no harm to me . My eye actually do not hurt , it just feels the same like .... like the time when you just put the lens inside your eyes in the morning . It's like , when you blink , there's something in your eyes . It does not hurt , not painful .... But , it was much more frightening then what Mr Goh is going to tell me later during recess . I do not know what to do .... Finally , I rushed to the basin at my banch and started splashing H20 into my eye . Truth was - I do not want to get a scolding from Miss Ong . Miss Ong saw me washing my eye and asked me what took place . I told her " Some Fe3+ got into my eye ... " " Who splash it into your eye ?? " " HUH ? No .... it's nothing ...... " " Who ? " " No , no ...... I accidently splashed it ... " " You must wash it with plenty of water ...... Half an hour later , if your eye is red , you MUST come and find me . " Haiz ..... But , my eyes were alright .... Soon , it was recess . The time of my death . I tried calling for Mr Goh for numberous of time , yet , he did not come out from the teacher office . Everytime I called for him , he would be inside the staff room ... but why not at that time ? Plus , HE's the one who wants to see me ..... Had he forgetten all about it ? I finally found Mr Goh ... and he told me that I am the only one in the class who had failed the math common test . Only me - the one and only helpless girl in Math ! .... My soul started to wonder away once I got the news ..... What's going to happened to my life ? Failed Math equals to failing your life . I don't know ..... I DO , really DO practise ! So why do I fail my Math when I practise ? I don't know ..... I got no idea .... I do not have the faintset notion what's going to happen to my life . I feel so lost . I felt like a failure . I fell so disppointed . I really did practice . I feel so confused . I am such a failure !

Reply to Devil : Hey ! Thanks a lot ! Well , finally my tag board is up and I finally get to see what you wrote ! Pika and I are both honoured ( I spelled it right this time , because you taught me how to ? ) to have you as a friend ! Really thanks , Devil ! And I do not think that your singing is that bad ( the recording which you've posted in you blog . ) Devil , did you predicted that there would be some chaos about my " cute " picture ? Did you know that those Haiz and FRUSTRATED made a big deal out of it ! Did you predicted that ? But hey ! What's there to lose where I have someone look at the same point of view as mine ? Even thought my OWN friends do not really like me that much , I still have my Dear Brother's friends behind me , right ? Not forgetting about Him , and my Cell Group Sisters and Brothers ! And my Lord the God ! Reply to hAizZz~: Yup . I wrote all thoese poems all by MYSELF ! And that doese NOT mean that my English is good . As you can see , and you know it yourslef , there are lots of spelling and grammer mistake ! As for thoese webite things - if you mean all thoese background , the teddy bear picture , I called our senior to help me ! But if you mean typing all those posts - Well , I got to say , the speed of my typing is quite fast since I had been coming online at least once in a week to chat with my friends since Secondary 1 . As time goes by , I somehow type very fast . And as you can see , my latest post was a few weeks ago . And that only prove me innocent ! I had not been blogging for the past few days ! I had not been online for the past few days ! I never spent that much time blogging ! Throw face away , ashamed ? It's my own problem . What makes you says that my result is that bad ? And that I never revise my work ? Who are you ? My spy or my Parent ? How much do you know / understand me ? How close are you to me in my life for you to make such a comment ? I strongly believe that you are in my class . And that puts you in the name of " classmate " . And my the clostest classmate I have is Ai Hui . So , I am sorry to conclude that you are wrong in your judgement , again . As for cuteness - let me say repeat again , I asked my senior to helped me do this wedsite . And since he got me a " cute " picture , then let it be , since he felt that I am cute enough to derserve that picture ! I guess that you have met the green eyes moster ? As for uglyness and cuteness . Different people , different perspectives. One day , I would not be judged by my age ( or apperances in this case ) , but by the protential in ME ! Can anyone say Amen to that ? If you want to clap , give the God a clap ! And since you are my classmate , then you do not really know me , and since you do not know me , how do you know where my strengths and weakness lies ? Not to say , how about my cuteness ? And one more thing - I know what I am doing . I know when I need to act . I know when I need to be seen and when I need to be invisible . Being a Chinese Dance leader , I had been really commited to it , and had been showing my committment, my strenghts in that area . I had been guiding my fellow sisters in the same CCA as mine for the past two years in my life . I've held importent meeting on behalf of Miss Ang . I did called up each and every one of my sisters and inform / remind them of practices . Every Wednesday , I would always run to the teacher office to take the radio from Miss Ang . Not forgetting the keys of the dance room , which had been locked . Thoese keys belong to the OM . But I always took great care of it and Miss Ang's trust in me make feel glad . My strengths lies in my CCA . It is where I am truly accepted . Where there would not be people backstabbing each other . Well , that's all I could say for now . Please re - think about your views if me ! Why judge a book by it's cover , my friend ? It'a alright if you say all these bad thing about me . Because He had told me something much more about cutteness and beauti . All thoses are just outside apperance . He told me that he felt I am an interesting creature ! I am so blessed by the God my Lord ! Reply to FRUSTRATED!! : Since you agreed with haizZz~ , and you claimed that my results are terrible , you are another person from my class ? Of couse I know that there are many errors ! You are not the first to say that , neither would you be the last ! Errors from my poems and posts could be excused . I write base on my own personal feeling . I just type what came into my mind . I look out for the level of vocabulary rather then the grammer and spelling . I agree that I am not that good in spelling . I had been teased before in my Primary School .... Something I would rather not talk about . No one's perfect too ! Am I not allowed to have some errors ? And let me remind you that this is MY blog ! If you are not satisfied with it , I apologise . You are not that harsh , I've met people much more cold - blodded then you , in real life ! Thanks for your encourgement about my studies . I would do / try my very best ....... Everyone have high hopes on / for me ! Love to all , ~M+J=MJ~

It's Racial Harmony day . I wore a Chinese Tradional Costume to School . Lessons were fine , excellent - expect Math . Mr Goh kept on asking if I understand what he is teaching or not . I wonder why .... Last time , he just let me be . Never really ask that question . But why now he ask ? If my memory served me correct , Mr Goh had asked me the question since Monday . Three days in a row already ! I smell a rat ..... something's wrong .... Terrible wrong ! ( You wants to know what's wrong ? Do look out for the post on 23/7/04 , Friday ) We were suppose to hand in our class photo money , the last day . But neither me nor Ai Hui have enough money . We told Mr Goh , and he agreed to help us pay . In other words , he is lending us money . It's the SECOND time he lent money to me .... After school is Napffa test . Not bad ! But Wednesday is my Chinese Dance practise too . So , I was given a letter by my CCA teacher , asking the station teacher to let me do the Napffa first . Last year , Lydia aid me in Napffa . Like holding my legs during sit up .... But this year , it's Ai Hui turn . My results were as follow - Sit up : 40 . Shuttle run : 11.6 seconds . Pull up : 40 . Sit and reach : 46 centimetre . Standing broad jump : 180 centimetre . I never go for my Chinese Dance practice at once , something which I was supposed to . Instead , I went to the School Graden with Ai Hui . At there , I told Ai Hui about what took place during the weekend ..... At there , I finally cried ! At there , tears finally rolled down my cheeks . At there , thoese feelings which I had kept so long finally came out from me . At there , I finally found true happiness when I cry . At there , I cried until I have no more strength left in me .... At there , I cried like I've never cried before . At there , I could not stop myself from crying like a baby .... After Chinese Dance , I went home woth Sok Ee , my best friend . I took a route which was longer . Mum saw me on my way home and questioned me . I told her the truth , she don't believe . Fine ! Look here ! My own Mother would rather believe in an outside , a B***H then her own blood - related daughter . A daughter which she had been looking after for the past 14 year , 7 months and 20 / 21 days . A teenage daughter which she had in her tummy for 10 terrible months ....... Or , Is it not her own daughter ?

I went online and chattted with James , reminding him to return me the Harry Potter Book with was borrowed from Yuxuan . I thought that my day would be better ......... But alas !!! During dinner ... I had another fight with Mother again ! Now it is worst ! Mummy talked about what happened on Sunday again ..... MUMMY'S FORCING ME TO ADMITE THAT I AM IN A REALATIONSHIP WITH LIU LING AND YUXUAN !!!!! Mummy ....... you think I am a slut or what ? Mum ! I do not even have ONE boyfriend , how to have another one ? Plus .. I am not even in ANY relationship !!!!! That Sophia could not find any fault with me , then can't she shut her cursed mouth for Goodness sake ? She got nothing to say then SHUP UP ! No one would be glader than that ! There wounld be World Peace ! No one would wonders why she became dumb , for it's so much better that way ! She wants revenge , so she dig out the past ? She might as well say all the wrong doing of mine when I was just borned into the Earth ! She could dig out the past since 5th october 1989 , the very day I was born , for all I care ! I hate it !!!!!

The feeling of being weak in Math is something which no words can describe . Practice ! Practice ! And more Practice ! That's all and what people would say if you ask them how to improve your Math . Teachers or Students . Friend or Foe . Does it not occur to them that - If you are practising with a sum which have answers in the back , you would somehow try to work towards the answer and does not know why you got to do / reject thoese steps / workings . Or you got stuck half - way and could not get the answer . Plus there's no one to help you . What would you do ? Panic ? Scream ? Jump ? Or give up doing the mind - challening question . Needless to say , most of the students would choose to give up . Or worst still ! You've being doing a multitude of sums and could not derive the MAJORITY of the answers . As the time goes by , your level of confidence began to decrease . Your anger start to burn inside you ..... Your mind scream to you , " Give up ! You could not get the answer for this question , just like those sums you've been trying . " In the blink of an eye , you wounld find yourself doing other things already ! In thoese above montioned case ,how could one practise and score well in Math ? If so , what's the use of practising ? Enough of thoese crap . The thing is - I had missed enjoying my lunch durning the second recess , all because I do not understand what Mr Goh was teaching ! Mr Goh taught me Additional Math during my lunch break and after school too . Do you know what it really feels like when you are hopeless in Math ? Well , nobody does , cause everybody is such a pro in Math ! Not like me ! Unlike me ..... My brain works too slow to comprehend the difficult concept ..... It is my fault that I am not of first - rate - intelligence . Went home after learning some Math from Mr Goh . It was about 4 pm , yet Mother was not at home . She called back a few miutes after I reached home , and told me that she was at the B***H's house ! What the ?!!?!? Mum came home , and told me ........ From now on ...... Every Saturday - 2 pm to 6 pm , Sunday - 8 am to 12 noon , Chinese tuition at the B***H"s house ! Mum ! Not that I want to say .... but this ot far too much ! Weekends are for me to do my tons of homework ! And to think that you can say " I want to spertate you and Yuxuan " ! Mum ! What are you think !!!!!!! Don't tell me that you really buy that B***H"s story !!!!! You can aslo say what - You friends told you that the servise had been pushed back from 2 pm to 4 pm ! Mummy ! I HATE YOU !!!!!!

I went to Church , and Pastor Kong laid hand on me ... Yes ! ME ! I was shaking at that time .... I do know how how to describe it ..... I went to Tuition next ....... The tuition was the turning point of my relationship with my Mother ... WAR ! Okay ...... Here are the actor / actoress Liew Mu Jie - The cute , beautiful girl of 14 with a Nokia 3200 Handphone . Sophia - The good - for - nothing - B***H . Xiao Dan - Used to be my tutor , before she was fired . Liu Ling - Taught me at the tution when I was in Secondary 1 . Yuxuan - My another tuition mate . Same age as me . There were only Yuxuan and I in the tuition . Background infromation ... Xiao Dan took over the tuition " centre " ( it's actually in Sophia's home ) in Jurong West . While her boss Sophia , went to work in Jurong East . Xiao Dan was fired recently because her of her bad atitude which had " chased away " a number of students . Since Xiao Dan had been fired , Sophia came back to the Jurong West Tution Centre . Staring ............. sit back your computer chair and enjoy ! I just reached the Tuition Centre after attending Service . I waited for Yuxuan at the lift because he called my handphone and told me that he was reaching . I do not really like the tuition , so , since I have a lot of time and waited for him . We both went to Sophia's home and were asked to sit at different part of the house . Yuxuan sat towards the front of the living room , while I sat towards the back . Yuxuan and I were seperated ! Fine then . Anything ! As if that small distance could sperate us ! I took out my handphone and switched it to the slient silence mood but Sophia saw it and wants me to give her my handphone . I gave it to her . Well , pity her that in her whole life , she would never own a carmar handphone ! She began exploring my handphone ! Fine then ! I am a caring girl . I knows what it feels like when you do not own such an excellent handphone like mine . I PITY you , Sophia ! But I DID NOT / NEVER grant you permission to meddle with my Nokia 3200 Handphone ! A parent came and that B***H went to entain the parent . I took the chance and asked a tuition mate to help me switch off my Phone as the tuition mate was just sitting beside that B***H . My tuition mate did as told ...... WHen that B***H finished entaining the parent , she saw that my Handphone was off . The B***H switched it on again ! B***H , you mean you are so .... B***H that you do not even know that switchin on and off the Phone would spoilt it ? B***H ! After a while , she asked Yuxuan to go the the kitchen with her . The B***H even closed the door ! When Yuxuan came out , he showed my body langue that " I am dead ! " The B***H went inside the kitchen again after coming out . I took that chance ....... I was very curious and so I went to Yuxuan's desk and pretened to be asking Yuxuan's tutor questions . The B***H came out and saw me talking with Yuxuan . She exploed ! She forced me to dail my Home number . No respone . She then wanted me to dail my Mum's handphone number . Sorry , B***H , even if I know the number , even if Mum carried her Phone with her , over my dead body !! B***H ! She gave up . Yuxuan and I were doing our assignment . An hour before our dismissal , the B***H wanted us to sit together and go through the Textbook . When she knows that I never bring my Chinese Textbook 3B , she called my Mother again . This time round , Mum was at home . Hey B***H , I usually come here to do assignment only , what's the use of Textbook , B***H ! The B***H went inside her room to make the call , so I do not know what she said ! I left with Yuxuan when we finishing going throught the textbook . Yuxuan then told me that the B***H asked him to go inside the kitchen was because the B***H wanted to know if Yuxuan had been contecting Xiao Dan . I smelled a rat , I went into my Handphone Phone Book and found out that Xiao Dan's contect was not found inside !!!! I am postive that Xiao Dan's contect was in my handphone Phone Book , before my handphone landed in that Sophia's hand . Does Sophia's Mother taught her that it is rude to anyhow meddle around with other people's thing ? It's ruder when she is " playing " with people's personal thing like Handphone . Where the owner lend it to her out of symphaty ? B***H ! She's worst than an animal when she anyhow delete a contect from my own handphone Phone Book ! I went home to have a fight with Mother ....... Another WAR ! Bloods and tears flooded every part of my house as the atmosphere is very tense .... Bla Bla Bla ..... Fight Fight Fight .... Cry Cry Cry ..... When I finally went to my room , I knew like the back of my hand what actually was spoken by the B***H during the telephone call . I understand that people do not call up parents unless I am in the wrong . BUT I AM NOT IN THE WRONG ! Sophia is crazy . You know what the B***H told my Mum ? A few things ......... That B***H told my Mother that I am in a relationship with Yuxuan just because I am very close to him ! Which was not true as my heart had been snatched by another guy ........Well , I maybe because the B***H does not have any friendship so excellent , like my friendship with Yuxuan ! She was jealous that's why she accused me ! She , with such an attuite , does NOT even have a FRIEND in this world !She want to take revenge , then take it on me ! Why drag the poor Yuxuan in ? Why ? Or is it that my case was so faultless that she got to use another party to have revenge ? After saying about my relationship with Yuxuan , she began talking crap about me and Liu Ling ! B***H ! Liu Ling was my Secondary 1 tutor , I am already Secondary 3 ! B***H , even if you want to accuse me , you also need to use your brain ! Stupid ! I feel like cursing her ! B***H ! Brainless B***H ! No , not feel .... I AM cursing her NOW ! After all thoese " Relationship " things , the B***H told Mum that I had been contacting Xiao Dan . I had been contacting Xiao Dan , yes . Because I got to inform her if I am going for tuition on Sunday . Sometimes , I went home for revision for exams , other time , I went out with my cell group . But , nevertheless , the real reason why the B***H was so pissed off was because - Xiao Dan left the tuition centre , on her own , to become parnter with Liu Ling ! The real true reason is that , Sophia met the green eye moster . She is the Boss , yet I only contect her " worker " . She is fed up all because of that ! Sophia was not happy with me just because I have Xiao Dan's contect ! Why did she not believe what her own daughter said ? But believe whole - heartly what that outsider said ? I feel so lost ...... I am very confused ...... I am puzzled ..... I feel like crying ..... I feel like being alone ..... I feel like screaming ..... I am very sad ..... I am very heat - broken ..... I am at lost at what to do next , mabe commit sucide ? ...... I REALLY have had enought of all those .....

Math Common Test on Arithmetic , Algebra , Mensuration , Angle porperties , Coordinate Geometry , Trigo and Berings . My sixth sense told me that I could pass this common test . I do not know if my sixth sense is reliable or not . I never passed my Math Common Test before . So , what is the difference between last term common test and the test I which I've sat for ? I don't even care if I pass or fail . If I can pass - Pigs can climb trees too ! If I failed - There would be a " Parents Signature , Date " on the top right hand coner of the front page of the paper . Something which I got used to it since this year . Something which my parents would never get hold of . None of thoese parents signature which I got was signed . Firstly , I am too dumb to pass the simple math test . Don't say Common test . Even thoese easy Class tests I also flunked it ! And every math test I failed , A Math or E math , there would be parents signature . Secondly , I can only give Mother to sign the paper . If I let Dad sign , both Dad and i would get into a hot soup boiled by my Mother . I had tried that method before , and got Dad quarrle with Mother . Well , what's the big news about my parents quarrling ? They ( I mean Mum . Dad would just kept quite and go to bed , not in the Masterbed room , but in a room shared by Dad and Brother . )were shouting every night when Dad came home from work . Enought of my family ! After Math Common Test , Mr Goh asked us to stay back for our June Holiday File Check . One the letter to parents were not signed . Therefore , I was to dail my home number for Mr Goh to talk to my parents . There were a few classmats whoese letters were not signed too . I myself choose to be the last person . People have CCA duities , CCA some got to rush home ... etc , etc . I am only going to the library only . Yes . Jurong East Library ! I went inside the teacher's office afther Mr Goh had talked to everyone's parent . Went inside and Mr Goh told me " I want to speak to ypu Mother . " I was thinking of dailing my handphone number , which was off but with me ! Or worst come to worst , call Dad . mr Goh could read my mind ! He called me to dail my HOME number !!! Argh ! May God rest my soul should I die ! I called my home mumber .... first time , no one picked up the phone . Told Mr Goh that but he would not accept that ! I dailed again ....... " Hello ? " Mum's voice came to my ear . " Hi . Mum ? You wait a while ...... " Here comes my death ! Mr Goh and Mum talked and talked !!! I heard what Mr Goh said ... well , nice things about me , of couse ! I was standing beside him ... laughing my head off my neck ! When Mr Goh put down the phone , he said , " Like that only . What's so scard ( He knows that I am scard ? Oh my ! He NOT only know what I am thinking , he knows what I am feeling also ??? Hell , save a place for me ...... YUCKS !!!! ) Anyway , your Mother quite concern about you , right ? " I was just standing there laughting , strugging . My mind was a blank . " Like that only " ?? He can say until so at ease ! He asked more and more questions .... that's when another shocking news reached my ear ! Mr Goh had been to my Poem diary ! ( I 've tranfered it into this blog already . ) He read my poems ! He managed to get in because the dumy me left the wedsite in my School's forum ! How dumb can I be , I wonder ? " Show me a knife / chopper / penknife and I would show you his head ! " How long is this going to last ? When will Hell let me in ? Mr Goh asked me not to everytime write sad - sad poems . Funny him ! The poet was sad , that's why poems were sad ! I found myself telling him that Miss Lee ( My displine mistress who went into my poem diary by the same way as Mr Goh . She taught me Literature for Secondary 1 and 2 . ) had lefe a message for me . She told me to edit my mistakes and post it in the forum . I heard myself hearing things ..... from Mr Goh . He said people might even want to use my poems or something ..... something ..... I do not know . I do not have the faintest idea if I am awake or not ..... mostly asleep and have a very very bad nightmare ! I left for Jurong East Library after my nightmare . May God bless my lonely soul ..... * Look out for more wars between me and my Mother ! The first day of the real battle is tommorow , 18/07/2004 . *

Should you .... Should you fell down , Should you feed sad , Should you feel low . Should you , Because of you feelings , Feel like crying . Should you , Feel a need to let you tears , Like pearls , Sparking in the sunligh , to roll down you lovely cheecks . Should you , Feel a need to let you tears , Like pearls , From a broken pearl necklace , Roll down your lovly cheecks . Do let me know ! I promise to be there , I promise to be rigth beside you . I promise you .... To sell you tissue paper , One packet for one dollars ! By : MJ . 2004 .

Teddy Bears ! I love you ! You are the only creature I have to relate my life to . No one understand me more then you do . No words to ponder from you . I can hug you as and when I needs one . I can kiss you when I want to . I do not know what to do without you . I cannot live without you hugs and kisses . Teddy Bears ! I love you ! Readers of the above must be thinking , " This harpy_princess is out of her mind . First , she called herself harpy_princess when harpy dose not even exist . Second , she claimed that she was the cutest creation of God . And now , she is so childish ! Teddy Bears . 14 going to 15 , getting IC in October . Still Teddy Bears ?" I beg to differ all your thoughts ! Our Secondary Two students held a jumble sale in the canteen during recess . Ai Hui and I walked pass a store which sold soft toys . Ai Hui's junior draged us to the store and wanted us to buy something from the store . My sharp eyes caught sight of two CUTE TEDDY BEARS ! Yes , it's two little cute teddy bears . But I no heed to choose which teddy bear I wants because both the bears were the same . So , Ai Hui brought 1 , I brought the another . After recess was Math lesson . Ai Hui's bear was with other classmates of ours . But Meiqi wants to have a look at the Bears . Since my Teddy Bear was with me , I lend Meiqi . I was digging out my Math Textbook and notebook , when Meiqi returned me the Teddy Bear and at the same time , Mr Goh came in . Since my desk was right in front of the teacher's table , Mr Goh asked me , " Why did you bring your Teddy Bear to school ? " Oh my ! I was blushing ! What is this ? Argh ! I got no comments ! None . Nill !

I wore my PE shirt the whole day and Mr Goh kept on asking me to wear back my school unimform . During the second recess , I ate my lunch all alone . I do not feel lonely . When you are use to friends who dump you and be with another friends of theirs , I doubt you would feel sad anymore . I am used to it . Ai Hui sat with Meiqi and Hui Min . They all invited me to join them , but for mo good reason , I just wish to be alone for my anger had be spiked by Lydia . She sat with her classmaters again . I am not saying it's a must for her to sit with me . Instead , I felt it's better for Lydia to sit with her classmates . Who would care about me ? Who would bother if I am livining on Earth , Hell or Heaven ? We did another round of titiration for Chemistry again afther our second recess . It went well . I supposed . After Chemistry , it was Math ! As usual , Mr Goh was teaching something which I have no idea what it was about . It was raining hard when we were dismissed . I got tutuion at 5 pm , and it is about 3.30 pm . Worst still ! Ai Hui forgot her umbralla ! I shelter her to a place near her home then carry on my road to home . Home . I was home in a blink of an eye . Home ... Why does it sounded like a lie to me ? Why is it so ? It's because I had another cold war with Mother again . I had do everything for my Mother . Why dose she not discuss her ideas with me first ? I hate it ! Why must I be a victim of her crazy ideas ? She never told me what she wanted to do . And by the time I know it , it was far too late for she had made all the arragements , and I just have to go accounding to her commands ! Home ......I am home . Why does it sounded like a lie to me ?

We did a Chemistry practial . I flunk my first titiration , but by second experiment went well . I went with Ai Hui to the Science Centre straigh after dismissal . We went the Macdonal's and brought our " Lunch " . Meiqi and Hui Min bummed into us when we were ordering foods . 4E5 pupils were going to the trip too . I wishes to hang around with Lydia , but she was with her classmates most of the time . It's alright with me as I am used to it . Anyway , the two classes , 3E5 and 4E5 got to move class by class . The Great Rift Valley was great ! Thoese pictures shown in the movie were excellent ! The moive was like a real - life experience . When the small boat met with the strong waves on tthe sea , it seems tthat viewers were on the boat too ! If there were some movement or shaking in the Ommimax Centre , the mivie would be faultless ! After the breath - taking movie , we were brought into a room where we were brifted more about the Valleys . I left the Science Centre and went to the Library . Borrowed a book and went to run errand for both Mother and Borhter . Run errand till I am broke !

There was an International Competitions For School ( Writing ) held in the school . Thoese writing would be marked by people from the Universtiy of New South Wales . All students would receive a Certificate indicating our strengths and weakness . The topice we had was : Write a report about James Scott , a 24 year old medical student who got lost in the Himalays . I believe I would have thousands of pages about my weakenss . But not even half a page about my strengths . It is because I had forgotten to write about the " cave " part which was given as a hint on the paper ! During Chinese Dance lesson , I discussed the competition with Lydia and Sok Ee . From what I know , they wrote quite well .....

It was Youth day holiday , so Brother and I went to the library . It was the first time Brother went to the Jurong East Library . He stayed at the first floor of the library while I went to the fouth floor with a stomach filled hunger for books . Some of my schoolamtes were there too . Mostly Jun Wei and Liang Hong . On our way back at about 7 pm plus , Brother and I went to the computer shop to check if our computer had been updated . It was not done yet .

I had another fight wtih Mother before I went out to the 7 - eleven to meet my two Godsister - Melody and Wen Ya . We all three ( they were waiting for me , I was later due to the fight . ) went inside the 24 hour store and brought 2 tibits each ! I brought an exter drink bottle for my Brother to use as he is very careless in taking care of his water botter due to constant bring it everywhere he goes . We order a half spring chicken , with Melody paying the bill . It was not very nice of me to let a younger Sister of mine to foot the bill , but ... we just ate the chicken . We were equal to thoere beggers who had not eaten for days . Weh tore and stacth the poor chicken ! There were lots of laughters ! We went to School next . We alomst ran as most of our time were spented torturing the chicken ! Boarded the bus with Lydia beside me . We were playing wit Melody's , Lydia's and mine handphone . Saw any cute messages , we either typed it into our phone or we sent it . Reached the studium but got to be guard dogs as Mr Tan , the teacher who hold our tickets were late . We chatted and joked around . Went inside the studium and the Festival satrted . It was alright , I guess ... Spent most of the time eating thoese tibits we brought . Shared thoere tibits with Lydia too ! Reached school at about 7 pm plus . It was raining . Me , Lydia , Hui Min and Yvoone went back together .

Finally gave Mr Goh my report book ! After three days of tourturs plus calling up of parents ! So , school was as boring as usual ! Went to eat with Ai Hui at the coffee shop . It went alright . fter eating our lunch , Ai Hui and I went to the C.K department store . I brought a " Disney the Pooh Milky Tin Butter Cookies " for my dear Brother . At night , I found out that HE tried to reach me . My handphone was off .... I never even on it for the day . But at night , I felt like switching on my Handphone . I do not know why .... but I just felt like switching on my Handphone ...... As you know , I have the free " Local Call alert " The provider sended me a message with his noumber ..... It was only then I found out that he had tried to contect me .... For what reason ? I not sure for he hardly contect me nowadays and I do not want to contect him nowadays too . SO , I wonders why did he called my handphone ?