So ... there's nothing to celebrate about ... No point in celebration ... I see ... I see ... I see that you still don't trust me and is still angry with me . Yar ... You broke my heart ... Yar ... spoil my mood . Went with Mum to catch a late movie ... I love you ... Please ... Maucks .

Happy birthday .

Sok Ee , I am glad to receive your message ... treasure okay ? No pain , no gain ! Haha ... As for you ...... What the ........ Okay then , fine ... Whatever .... If this is the way you are going to " treat " me .... fine . So be it then !!! Embarrassed ... The thing is ... is wasn't like this last time .... how would I know that there's so many things going on ?? I thought it was the same .... in office , calls in the afternoon , and flirting in the canteen ... I was used to it , you know ?? And I am NOT chilling you !!! I am just telling you how I feel ... You pushed me away and refused to give me what I wanted . You seem to be there , only if I was helping you ... And no more morning messages ... even thought you were by your phone !!!!!!! I've only got this to say .... " MM jia you .... " Let nature take it's course ? No , I am NOT going to let nature take it's course ... Do you just let the green house gases consume the whole earth or are you going to do something about it ? Reduce the usage of plastic bags , for example ? Let nature take it's course ? Why not you just say , let us drift apart and so be it then . Bye .

You agreed ... or should I say ... you even encourage it ? Went out with Enrique in the late afternoon ... Wa ... Suggested him to fix the time and place . He refused ... Ended up rushing down to 1 of the theater to realize that the show we wanted to catch will be starting late . So , we booked the ticket for another place and rushed down there . Hm .... The show ... NC 16 ... Love the songs thought I should have heard it before , but seriously , I never hear them before !!!!!! Yup . Sat on the couple seat sharing popcorn . Thanks for all the treat !!! Enrique took the train with me and he left at one of the station . Seriously ... Sok Ee ... I was sorry ... But I was scared too . Well , scared that I teared ... But like what I told you - heart broken ... But I guess ... At least there's a " good " explanation for mine ... I can choose to deceive myself ... But for you ?? I don't know . Treasure him ... We shall face all these strongly , okay ? Even thought they don't seems to care at all ... But well ... I choose to believe that it matters .... My heart hurts when I received you message ... I thought it would be like yesterday . I choose to hope , to believe ... I ran for the bus ... even thought the high heels were making " click - click " sounds , everyone was looking at me , and there's blister on each of my big toe ... Yes !!!!! I made it ... So , I was just thinking too much ?? But I don't understand and I guess I never will ... Neither will you ... Yes , okay ... I don't understand that you " struggled with all this things " .... and neither do you know about menses cramps . All I've ever heard from you is how you slacked in the office , how you went to flirt when you were in the canteen ... I am sorry .... Maucks . I love you ... very much .

I really don't know ... Should I cry or should I laugh ? You finally passed it to me ... in such bad state ... Don't you know how much my heart hurts ... Wondering ... what happened in there ? How in the world did it end up in such a state ... Are you sure it's alright ??? It don't seems so to me ... This is the very very first time you requested it ..... What can I do ? What should I do ?! It hurts ... Why is it in such a state .... I really don't wish to have it in such a condition ....

Brother went for chalet . For once , he left the laptop at home ... I tried and tried and tried ... Wanted to upload the messages ... to copy and paste them ... Yes , I've found a faster and quicker way ... Was so stupid to copy every single message on pieces and pieces of paper and to type them out again . Why ? Yes ... everyone who knew or saw ... they will ask me why . Who knows , maybe they would even think that I am being stupid ... Too deep . Oh well ... Habit ... I had got use to it .... My heart just breaks one suddenly one of the message got deleted by mistake ... or by my parents . Why ? I also don't know ... Ever since being with you ... it had been like that ... I still remember the times ... when you would think of me ... Message me ... But now ????? Even thought I knew that there was simply NOTHING on my phone ... no miss call , no message ... I would still check my phone a thousand and one times ... Behavior excess . I am just not use to you not messaging me ... You used to do that ! I've counted ... 20 messages in a day .. Now ? 2 ?? Maucks ... I love you ... I am waiting ... Waiting for you .. You knew it ? Or you don't ... No !!! You should have known ....... I've dropped enough hint .... Or maybe .... You just don't know and I need to spell it out ???? 1/1/2008 .

This Christmas ... So sad ... Normally ...... Haven people wonder , maybe ... just maybe , people are waiting for them ? They don't know how to say ... Yar , you can call it red carpet ... But ... oh well .... If you try asking .... Have you ever try asking ? I would have went ... This Christmas ... It's so different ... The chain is broken ......

A change of events ... Planned to go Sim Lim Square to buy for you ... But you dated me ... Maucks . Haha ... I love you ... Words can't describe how happy I am being with you . Hehe ... Oh , you are so ...... How to say ... I just can't help but fall in love with you again , just like the very first time we met . Maucks . I want to spend the rest of my life with you .

I am so sorry , Mrs Bin . Haha .. Mum took my ez link card . I lent her yesterday as I was not going out . Anyway , really sorry Mrs Bin . Had a great and enjoyable day shopping with Mrs Bin . We brought VCDs .... She lent me to burn . Haha . Hm , and brought presents for Mr Hubby and Mr Bin . Hope that the guys appreciate it . Had dinner at KFC . Yummy . Headed home after our last shop - The Face Shop . Hey pal , lets meet up soon ! It's so nice hanging out with you , shopping . Oh yar , I still owe you money . Haha ... Hope to see you soon .

Went for practice and headed to School . Met the gang , expect Min Hui at Orchard . Shopped a while before going for Sakae Sushi . It was not as fun as last time .... Oh well .... yup . I ate a lot ... was extremely full .... But then ... Haha ... Shopped again and headed home . Maucks . I love you ... Missing you .

Had 3 near accident today ... Oh , yes ... I am that careless ... I don't know how am I going to survive ... to carry on ... It just seems so tough .... Happy Birthday Mother ! Though we hardly celebrate , may all your wishes come to pass . Maucks . I love you ... E bay ! Haha ... And Holland V ... Hmph ! I love you .

Such an enjoyable day ... From now on ... The best moments aren't Sentosa or Wild Wild Wet ... It's being with you . Maucks .. 10 years !!! Yes ... it's so so so so long ... But .... I'm still not happy !!!! Who says that smoking , drugs and gambling are addictive ? None of them could hold a candle to you . Being with you , waking up in your arms , by your messages ... Falling asleep hearing your honey coated words ... Knowing that you are mine ... Everything about you ... Your smile , you voice , your kisses ... Every single thing . I am addicted to each and everything about you . Maucks . I love you .

Went with Mum for shopping . Brought clothes for Dad . Hm ... really want to buy the Mp4 ... Should I , should I not ? Had been eying on it for quiet some time already .... You rushed back just for me ... I'm so touched . Maucks . I love you . Tomorrow ... I can't wait ! Yeah !

Yeah ! The holidays are here once again . Looked forward to it . Lots of stuffs to do ... Got bluffed by Mum to go for some " concert . " Never mind ... Just listen to the songs .... Haiz .... Memories ... Will they ? This year . Well .... I never miss once ... Hopefully not this year ... Hehe . Maucks to my love . I love you .

I don't really know what is going on . Anyway , I really cannot bring my laptop to School for presentation today . Too bad . And why is it always so last minute ?! I hate this type of work . In another hour or so , it would be our last presentation for this term , and 1 more presentations and all the projects for this semester would be over . Seeing Janani presenting just now .... I miss the days when we presented as a group . Those days ... Ha ha . Hard at work , cleared all the projects way before hand . Even had trail run of the presentations , which made us more confidence . Yeah . Those days ... I miss them . Went shopping at the Tangs fair in School . Brought a pair of shoes . Janani and Amanda brought a pair of shoes and a bag each . Yeah . Shopping ... With all the big plastic bags .... it's like we had gone shopping somewhere . Oh , Brother , remember to buy presents for me okay ? Ha ha ... Lucky you ... It's just not fair at all . Anyway , enjoy yourself . Something wrong with my phone . I can't seems to message my friends ... expect you ... Strange . Must give a call to my phone provider and ask what happened . Maucks . I love you my love .

Finally managed to blog ! Brother went overseas , with the laptop ... Wonder what he got for me ?? Life ... Regret ? Had been blog hopping and well ... though as much as I want to , I know that I could not afford it . The time , the effort , the commitments ... Oh well ... I shall just forget it ... A good bye means good bye . All my tests had been smooth sailing ... Bioscience practical had FINALLY ended yesterday . More confidence in my brainy stuffs than those digesting things . Maybe it's all because of the limbic system I told you about . I had been mugging real hard ... just like I had promised you . And at 12.45pm , it would be the start of my very last test before the 2 weeks term break . And I plan to go to the night market to buy wrapping papers and my hand phone cover . As for my break ... lots of stuff to be done . Yeah .... I love the feeling of getting stuffs done . Productivity . And I WILL study ... revise early ... Oh ... I don't know what happened . But the borderline thing is that ... I cannot believe that some people can be so selfish .... Never mind , we'll always have our own way , right gang ? Yeah ! 21th .... Attachment at Woodbridge . Oh God ... How am I suppose to reach there by 7am ?! Can't some helicopter land from the sky to ferry me over to the hospital ? Work had come to an end . All the kids are having holiday now . So yup ... A bit broke ... It's alright . I shall save till next year ... here more classes are starting . And I will earn loads of money !! Yeah ! Being with you made me so addictive to you . " I love you darling ." Oh ... how I wish ... Do you know that 10 years is a very long ... extremely long time ? But since I gave you my words during that time ... Be it to pamper or real ... What I say means said .. So yup . 3 mails waiting for you , my love . Looking forward to the very long future with you . Maucks . I love you . Oh ... how can I do without you , MM ?

Home alone ... Not really ... Spent the day online . Boring ... Managed to snatch some time from you busy schedule ... But it's never enough . Tried to print the Bioscience E- learning .... Failed .