Oh ... It's Tuesday ... How times flies .... Really having second thoughts about my dreamed future ... It's so tough !!! Yeah .... I will be growing muscles by the end of the day ... Had project meeting . Got work to do !!! Tangs came to the School and we shopped . Spent ... Interest rate of $1 per second . I will be counting ... And I prefer BEAR head !!! I enjoy all your companies ... What are we going to do in the future ??

It's Monday once again ... Seriously . It's the third week and I still can't get use to waking up so early in the morning .. Thanks , Coke , for waking me up . Was extremely tired . Everyone was having Monday Blues ... or maybe ... daily , everyday ... Haha ... Hey ! I wanna shop at Tangs !!!

He promised to tell me something ... about her . But nope . Okay , guess I broke the part of the deal of not asking . But the suspense really kills me ! Anyway , the whole gang of us went in late . Haha ... Waited for each other . Peaceful . She was not around . I just hope that it will not be the same ..... Oh well ... Hope that she is more mature .... If was fun too ... I got bullied . Haha ... jinxed . Yeah ! Those were the days ... Please , tell me what is it all about ...

It was such a fun day ! If only everyday is like this ... Met 2 new friends . Enjoyed being with them . They were kind , cheerful , and they made me laugh . Had supper ... Reached home only at 12 midnight . It was really fun , enjoyable . I did not feel tired at all ... Even though my day ended real late , later than expected . Even managed to do my projects . Yeah ... Year 3 .... Projects , lectures , tutorials . That's what my life make up of . Oh ! My friend messaged me ... really hope to see him . Miss all those old friendships I've built throughout the past 2 years . Oh well ... Really glad that he changed his mind . Just hope that I won't have to treat him to the restaurant . Haha ... Maucks . Thank you for waiting . I love you .

Short tempered . My phone's timing don't sync with the laptop ! I sure hope that it's not the old thingy ... Had such a hard time solving that " puzzle . " Everyone's stress . Busy with work , busy with other commitments . Me too , I knew that . Sorry pal ... So sorry . At least ... Time out . Some time alone . I guess everyone needs a break , they deserves one . It's okay . I understand . Hope that you comprehend too . Sorry . I really wish to contact you and apologize , but base on the past experiences where you told me ... I guess you would prefer to be alone . It's okay . Guess I blew up on you too . Try again next time . It will be better ... I will be there for you , no matter what . I was waiting . I am waiting . I will be waiting . No matter what .

Had 4 hours of break in between lessons . I enjoyed myself so much during our very last hour of break . I shall treasure it ... Time flies , it waits for no man . Before we knew it ... Who knows what will happen , what is going to happen . That was why , I captured the memories . Laughter ... All the best ! And I fell in love with you .

If only I can hold onto the time .... If only this , if only that .

Yeah ! Only 2 hours of lesson ! Accompanied her . Don't worry . Let's count down . Yeah ... looking forward to it . We'll be there for you .

It was so last minute , but I rushed down . It was fine . It was okay , no worries . I've agreed , no need to say sorry . Oh , and I was being told the reason . Understandable . Busy .

I was so tired . Let me see ... Ai Hui , Sok Ee and Dianna ... Tired . Yeah ... busy . I'm loving my life . I have yet to give an answer ... they did not ask . But I guess I'll agree . Because you will always be there for me .

I was asked . Questioned . Tricked over a hash brown . I don't know . Rise up to the challenge ? I knew .... Deep down . I've got the answer . But what I wanted is assurance . You promise ? Really ? Thank you .

School was fine . Doing great , dozing off in class . She was so interested to tell me about her night ... I was so curious knowing about it .... Was surprised , touched by what all my pals had done . Got to thank all my pals . A friend in need is a friend indeed . My gang ! Knowing that I belong . And to you too . Met her , as planned . She was on time . Yeah ... She was trying hard to show us the photos ... But too bad . Ate together .... But I guess all our barriers were up . Ha ha . Managed to save all the e-learning and the papers Amanda sent me . Waiting for the time to pass as I have places to go later . My whole Friday and Weekends were packed . Fully packed . Oh well ... Money . What to do , I love them . Ha ha . Thanks . No amount of words can express my gratitude .

I tired , but failed . Too bad . At least we tried and failed , pal ... We climbed together , we fell together but we won't leave each other behind . I won't look back with regret . No , I won't . I'll just have to make the most out of it . Memories .... So ... dates on Friday and Weekend ??

Yeah ... My faith had been determined . Oh well ... As she sat there , inside the lecture room . Her disappointment and anger .... Towards the " most uncaring person on earth . " It made me realized , how much I tresure them . We shall go through it ... I knew that the time with them would be much more limited ... Just like last time ... But we managed . Yeah . This time too !! We will be able to maintain such strong and true friendship . I will miss all of you . Something's really wrong ... What happened ? Oh God ...

As I ponder about my future , I still find it hard to believe that I am doing my final year of my diploma already . To make it harder , I will be spending the rest of my Year 3 Semester 2 in hospital . Oh my ... Projects are piling up ... Stress !!! At least I am able to work with my gang ... Tomorrow , my faith will be determined , as what Cloud described it . Wish me good luck , wish me all the best . I wish .... Sunday , date with my dearest Sok Ee ... Stress !!! Tried searching for my tutorial thingy ... but found nothing . Oh well .

Bumped into my Secondary School Form Teacher on my way to School . Oh my !! I missed those days ... How much she care for me ... he too . But yet ... I'm still keeping it to myself . How can I ever tell them about such things ?!?! Ashamed . How long had it been ? Years ... I miss my gang !! The usual laughter we shared over lunch ... How we joke around ... Crapping , updating each other . And our dear Amanda , beginning to stress us about our studies already . I'm so glad that we were able to do our project together !

Imagine working with them ....

With our usual grouping , teamwork , trust , laughter , the old feelings in Year 1 ...

I'm sure that we will be able to do a good job .

So ... this coming Friday .... strange .

I still can't believe that she's getting married ...

Met my dear Ai Hui after School .

It was so last minute !

An hour before we meet ... Ai Hui dated me .

We shopped , took neoprints , chatted , updated .

The good old times we shared .

Everyone .... let's work hard for our very final year !!!

I miss you ...

You know something ?

I actually feel proud .

If you ask me what I really learn from this posting ... different from others , I would say - nothing . Nasogastric tube insertion ? Nope ... others had done before . Blood transfusion ? Forget it . How about sneaking into the lab for full echo ? That's not part of my study ... That's why I said , nothing special . Should I be glad that I was assigned to the Learning Centre instead of the usual Biz 3 for the weekends ? Both days ... how lucky can I be . It was so boring ... I felt as if I was falling ... further and further down into a hole . Depressed . Thanks Sok Ee for dropping by on Saturday . I brought magazines to entertain myself on Sunday ... It was so peaceful . Somebody , please , pinch me . Tomorrow is the start of my Year 3 , my final year !!! Tomorrow , those new Year 1 will be coming in !!! It seems like yesterday when I met my gang ... Oh no ... and before everyone realized , it will be the exams , attachment , and finally , the dreaded PRCP !!! Kill me please ... I would rather be dead than working ... With them .

Believe it or not , I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt as if a part of me was gone . I felt like going back for attachments ... I miss everyone . I miss my patients ... 1 ) Min Hui's case study . A very good patient . He joked and laugh with us . He was transferred to another ward and discharged on the same day . His daughter was nice too .... Before he leave , he came and said good bye . He encouraged me to study hard . 2 ) Dialysis patient . Wow ... this patient ... always seem reading the bible ( I think ) . He was extremely polite . He will walk around the ward in the name of exercising . I went up to him and chatted during my afternoon shift . Sometimes , I will give him his' eye drop and encouraged him to remind us to give him his eye drops . He will just say that he don't want to bother us as we were busy . On my very last day , he brought 3 packets of sweets for us and he presented to me . Before I left , I went and said good bye to him . 3 ) Fruit tarts . There's this patient whom I'm not really close to . I only chatted with him before he discharge . Talked to him and his family members ( I think ) about my studies and bond . He presented to me some fruit tarts for all the staffs . 4 ) Bypass . He went for a bypass and went to another ward . When I went to Chen Ke's ward , I actually tried looking for him . But nope , he was not around . When I got hit by my patient , he even felt sorry for me , saying that all of them have heart condition and can't do much . Just the thought of helping is more than enough . 5 ) Infection . He came in due to infection . I had the honour to give him his medications under supervision , seen how the staff nurse flush the line for him . He will always encourage me to learn as " it's a matter of life and death , " he said . I helped him to wrap up his' " line " a few times before . 2 rounds on the top , 2 rounds at the bottom and lastly , 2 in the middle . Fulfillment . On my last day , he came back from his home leave . I said good bye to him and he wished me all the best in my studies . The next time I see him , it won't be in the hospital , okay ? 6 ) 4 bypass , 1 artificial valve , 6 pine of blood transfusion . A very nice English speaking patient who told me that he had 4 bypass , 1 artificial valve and had 6 pine of blood transfusion before . Had the chance to see Doctor doing digital examination on him too . He was to be nursed on " complete rest in bed " for my very last day . Explained to him and his' respond was just " okay , okay , okay . " Hopefully , he don't need to have his " holiday " in hospital anymore . 7 ) Young . A young guy who just came in on my very last day . Got to admit , I was shocked when I first saw him ... So young !!! When I did the hourly parameters for him , he requested to know about his condition . The way he spoke to me , so nice , so polite . His' smile too ... If only I have the chance to nurse him till he is fit for discharge . 8 ) Complete rest in bed . I saw him stoning , staring into the space . I went up and talked to him . Explained to him why he got to be nursed on " complete rest in bed " . Turned out that he had been seeing that Doctor for 20 plus years ! A very nice patient . When I woke him up to say good bye ... he immediately sat up on his bed , grasped my hands and wished me good luck . So touched . If only I can nurse him till he discharge . 9 ) Quite . There's this very quiet patient who will sit by the edge of his bed and dozed off . His wound developed some complications and he was transferred to another ward . Hardly see any visitor , so I went and talk to him . His younger sister will visit him and he used to work as a porter and another hospital . I miss the staffs . 1 ) Staff Ivy . The only staff who address me by my name . Considering that even my initials can be mistaken as MG and that she stills remember my name even though she did not see me for a few days . The way she smiled at me when I greeted her . How she taught me charting when I was not sure where to chart . She went with me to top up the gauze . I was busy when I came back . I've forgotten all about my duty to place the gauze inside the drawer ! It was done when I recalled it ... Thanks . 2 ) Pregnant Jie Jie . She will call me dear dear or girl girl . I was impressed how she still do her duty as a nurse even though the family member were not that happy with her attitude . Oh ! She was the staff who asked me about my education background , and that was when I realized that there was a staff who lived near me . I never see her during my last week of attachment ... or maybe seldom see her ... 3 ) 25kg . The pregnant staff who wishes to be 25kg ... and she wants to announce to the whole world about my weight ! 4 ) Jie Jie S.P . She reserved the subcutaneous Clexane injection for me ! Gave that injection 2 times in a row ! Wow . She even encouraged the male Staff Nurse to teach his " mei mei " how to draw blood too . 5 ) Jie Jie T.T . Both her and Jie Jie S.P asked me the same question of " are you in the same group as the rest of the attachment student " almost at the same time . A gap of a few minutes or even seconds , only ! Both of them even chased me home at the end of my shift too ! However , I've forgotten was it Jie Jie S.P or Jie Jie T.T who told me that tolbutamide is an anti diabetic drug . That Jie Jie even asked me if I've forgotten what another Staff Nurse taught me . 6 ) Jie Jie J . Overheard her conversation that she went for a 2 day 1 night holiday ... I wrote report under her guidance . 7 ) Attachment student LXY . Met her inside the lab when I sneaked in to see a full echo . She was the one who explained to me all about the full echo ... Attachment student from Singapore Polytechnic , learning about Bio med . 8 ) Physiotherapy Jie Jie Always say hi to me and called me " mei mei " . She's like the sunshine . Always so cheerful . What impressed me most was that she knew a lot of languages ! And her euthanasia ... how she encourages the patient to exercise , the way she educate the caregiver . Every time when I managed to find time to pop in to see her exercise session , every time she announced to me that it ended ! And you know who's her friend ? Red in colour , big in size ... The red armchair ! 9 ) Male Staff Nurse . Many thanks to him for teaching me so much . Always bombarded him with my endless questions . Haha ... Sorry and thanks . Guess I irritated him too much that he even " scolded " me on my last day . He was stress plus he was on diet ( to become 25kg ? ) . But he never fail to give me a satisfied answer . He even checked out the answer for me ! Thanks for entrusting me with all the " Staff Nurse " work . Got to trouble you to supervise .

First of all , thanks , Min Hui .... For everything . So sad that I can only spend at most ... 2 hours with you , only . I was being asked why I was so angry . If only you knew what happened , how I felt ... When I heard the word " Bitch " when I walked passed her . The impact on my shoulder by her elbow . That dreadful stare when I ACCIDENTALLY hit her with the curtain when I wanted to ensure privacy for my patient . That they signed the card without asking me nor Min Hui . The way she snatched the tympanic thermometer when I went with Min Hui with the only intention to help out with the parameters . I was asked , " do you really have to work so hard ? " Okay , the asking attitude was so much different from the way my ex cheer mate asked ( I felt like crying at that point of time when she bombarded me with so much questions ... ) . The answer is ... YES ! And somehow , I felt proud of it . That I am able to work and help out with the bills . Like what I said , it felt so much different from the way she asked me . The income was good compared to my other collages . But all my weekends were burnt ... I can't go out , I can't go dating , I can't rest . I got to hold onto my work ... yup , maybe like what you said , for another 6 months ? To tell the truth , I don't feel like going home . I dragged myself home ... I stayed back to say good byes to all my patients ... I miss them ... Good byes ... I hate good byes . I felt as if some part of me had gone missing . A part of my heart disappeared . Good bye . Get well soon and discharge !!!

Oh no ! I know that I am getting from bad to worst . Woke up at 6.45am to get ready .... went to West Mall after my stuff . Shopped at the Shop & Save and at Uncle Tidbits ... searching for that Jelly Bear . Went to order Chicken Chop .... Shopped at the Ck department store and checked my bank account .... Paid for the bills ... Can't help Brother to renew as the process needs his' Identification Card . Went home and shared the Chicken Chop with Brother ... That's when it happened !!! I fell asleep on my bed with my Teddy Bear after lunch !!! Thanks to 9 .... for helping me . Sorry for the trouble . Seriously , I miss you guys so much !!! Today at the ward was still ... acceptable . Fulfilling instead . I was reading my patients case notes when a young lady came and told me , " Er , your bed 11 patient is looking for you . " I went ... my patient was extremely polite in asking me for mouthwash and helping him in his eye drop . I assisted him ... Yeah ... MY PATIENT !!! I am glad that I made a difference in his life ... no matter how small it may be . Another patient requested from me for his eye drop too !!! I am so glad ... my patients ... Oh , there was this patient who wanted to extend to string for the bed lights . I could not understand him . Therefore , another patient ( in the same room ) and his friend ( I think ) ... assisted me . After all the trouble to extend the string , it turns out that my patient wished to control the fan instead of the light .... I felt so glad my other patient assisted me when I don't understand my patient . I managed to give 2 injections too ! All thanks to the Staff Nurse who reserved it for me till I came back from my break . I came back 15 minutes earlier . Come to think of it ... They were nice to me today ... I was late for 10 minutes , so I got to leave 10 minutes later . 1 of them came and asked / remind me that it was time to go home . I explained to her that I was late .... But in the end , the Staff Nurses allowed me to leave . Yeah ... I love you . Don't worry too much .

Hm ... Morning shift ... Was slightly late . Went for a 15 minutes break when it was suppose to be half an hour . Oh well , I got nothing to do either ... might as well go back to the ward . As for my second break , I went to look for my cousin after having my lunch . Why ? I also don't know ... I got nothing else to do either , so I went to her ward . What she talked to me about ? What else ... Mum complained to her about me . Hm ... Was quite depress almost throughout the whole day . Not really in the mood ... Maybe because of them ?? I don't know . Just simply dislike working .... How should I express it ? Just being with them ... that type of feeling ... Low self esteem plus low self confidence , fearing that something / everything you do are wrong . Yeah ... 9 came for the afternoon shift ... It happened . She got " scolding ". Come on . Can't they be more mature ? Why don't they just speak to us , instead of backstabbing us ? Is that the way they were taught to grow up with ? Pity you ! So glad that I'm in the afternoon shift tomorrow . I am tired , extremely tired . Slept from 6pm plus to almost 8pm . Yeah . All my days are packed . What to do , I have so many commitments . Tired . Sad ...

Was 10 minutes late ... Managed to sneak into the lab and see the full echo done on a patient . Oh yeah !!! Thought I was totally blur , staring at the black and white monitor ... but , well , an experience . Learnt how to label forms ... There are so many different colour tubes !!! Hope that I am able to remember all ... Presented my case study today . Screwed up due to their high expectation of a 2 people group . Oh well ... Made up for 5 minutes before I was being chased home by the Staff Nurse . I tried to hide .... but the train arrived ... Somebody tapped my shoulder ... How should I react ? Thank God that it was only for 1 stop ... If not ... Was all alone at home . Busy messaging . Thanks to Sok Ee , Cloud and 9 . Without you all ... what am I suppose to do ?! Thanks so much to Sok Ee .... how long had we been friends ?? Thanks for your care and concern ... everything is alright now . Thanks for the strength you gave me . Thanks to Cloud . Yeah , we shall exchange notes . I shall give you a reply tomorrow . And yeah ... 3 more days . Let's count down , shall we ? Hope you enjoy your posting . And my dear 9 ... I miss you lots !!! What am I suppose to do during our very last attachment ??!?!?! Thanks for keeping me company ... Last but not least ... you ! Maucks ! Love you .

I am so happy today . I passed ... Thank you Brother for the " food " delivery . I managed to do procedure . And for the rest of the week ... I hope that I am able to survive . 1 more week ... no , 4 more days . Please ... Please . Went shopping to celebrate . You know something , you should hold my hand and never let go . If you let go , I will go shopping . I was so many cute teddy bears !!!! Oh my ... love at first sight .

This is bad . Really bad ... You are pushing me away . I suddenly realize ... The deep inside my heart ... Maybe ... What I wanted is something else ?? Do you know what he told me ?!?!? Argh ... What can I do ? This is my life . That's life . Life .

I really don't feel comfortable . I really miss 9 . I know that I should be , must be independent ... But ... How am I suppose to be when ... The MSN nick . Oh well ... Maybe I am just too sensentive .

I did my case study till 2.45am yesterday night , after my afternoon shift which ends at 9pm . In the end ... It doesn't matter at all . Or maybe ... 1 less workload ... Brother failed . It's okay . Try again .

I don't know how long can I last ... I hate it !!! I really hate it !!! I just hope ... the frighten me ... that history won't repeat itself . Please . I am trying my best , my very best ... Thanks staff for teaching me so much . When I am in the afternoon shift , I have other commitments in the morning . When it's my day off during weekends , I got to be a telemarketer . I am tired . Really ... Maucks . Thank you for being my strength . Yeah !!! My 3+5 words !!!!!! I LOVE YOU !