Woke up at 7.30am , bathed (even washed my hair) and rushed to School , lucky , today tutor was Joelle . Hm , had presentation , then Sociology tutorial , break for an hour , which we went to the north canteen and I ate my breakfast , bread . Went for Clinical , then 2 hours break which we went to McDonalds’s as I insisted …. Long story … The person came and took our orders , but I was going to pay by Ez-link , which I have to go all the way to the counter . I went ordered , then I pay by Ez-link … turned out that if the care was GIRO , it can’t be approved … I went back to my seat , took my cash card to pay … I don’t have any cash with me … As the machine was approving … it got stocked … there was too many of those receipt papers stuffed inside the small ATM machine … but anyway , my thing got approved . Went to the Library and did some changes to the power point slides , went for lecture next . Brother messaged , asking me when I would be dismisses and be home … told him dismissed my 4pm , reach home an hour later … No respond from him , so I called my Brother . He told me that he was dismissed from camp early today … since nothing much , I went with my gang to the library and continue with the power point … Anyway …. I regretted so much …. Actually showed Min Hui my Brother’s message and I was actually allowed to go … but , being part of the group , I ended up staying back with them , doing the project …. I’ve hurtled someone … it all happened like this … Vasgui and Adamda were doing the HS1028 project … whereas , the rest of us did the HS1027 . We spitted into 2 groups … Vasgui asked Janani what we wrote for our HS1028 Journal’s usefulness … Janani told her … as I refused to share any project thingy with people ( marks are awarded ! ) I opened the Microsoft words , asking Janani why she told Vasgui …. I increased the front until Vasgui saw it too …. Anyway , Brother messaged me that Mum and he would meet me at Jurong East … I was still in School , called Brother … and yup , we would still be meeting … He called too … and we talked crap … I still … feel sort of insure when ever he said he treat me as a sister , or that he would go and find his ex- crush …. I’m too selfish , aren’t I ??? I don’t know , just dislike sharing ideas with people , just don’t like sharing my guy with another girl … Haha . Met Mum and Brother .. we shopped a little . Brought 2 new shoes , 1 high heel another spots shoe . Brother also brought a pair of shoe too . I also got a backpack . Hehe ... can put my laptop inside .

Went to School to rush project again . Haha . Hm , it should be alright …. He messaged me … 16/6/2006 , 12.52pm , I am sorry dear …. I love you . You must eat ok ? Haha … So nice of him . He never come because he went to collect his glasses , he have spoilt it while he was playing badminton with his friends .

Met with the gang and do project work again … Tiring !!!! None of the days did Vasgui turn up … Hm … went with Him to Toa Payoh and ate . Board the train and then … He was like … I don’t know how to describe … however … it was sad . I found a seat first . After a while , there were a 2 – person seats . He went then , then I followed …. However , he sat at another seat instead . I was like … gee …. Anyway , he messaged me while we were on the train … he told me that I look sad and all … then I replied him and everything . Inside his messages , he told me things like , I wasn’t a part of him in the first place and that he would not sacrifice anything for me … etc … Where got such a boyfriend ? Hm , however , for me , I guess he had become part of me over the months , however , for the sacrifice part …. It depends on what degree for sacrifice needed …. Sacrifice time , possible , but if it’s like … sacrifice life and things like that …. I don’t think our feelings are those deep yet . That’s all I can comment …. However , at night , I think … everything is alright .

Only I went to the School , did the Bioscience mind map … was falling asleep … Haha After that , I went for my Cheerleading practice . Yup … Oh , today … very few people appear … Poh Poh was the in charge for today , then we decided to end it early and went for dinner . Haha … Fist time eating with my CCA mates . Quite alright …. However …. Somehow , the topic changes to , “ what your dad work as ? “ The question was being passed around in a circle , I have no choice but to answer … Nah , nothing much … I also don’t really know what my dad’s working as anyway .

Went to Mum’s workplace and she passed me some bread , asking me share with him or something … Anyway , he messaged me , told me that he would meet me at the MRT . When I got out of the train , I saw Janani , then , she … walked in front so that I am able to talk to him .. Janani so good … Haha . Yup … rushed our project today too … Tired ….

My hand phone battery went flat … then while I was charging it , I then realized that he had been contacting me . Sorry … I called him and met him … we then went to meet Amanda , Janani and Min Hui …. I and my group did the nursing care plan project …. He just sat beside me and did his work … Haha …. He even messaged me that “ I love you “ … Since we were seated beside each other , we kept on holding each other’s hand . My gang was great , they went for lunch first , then allowed me to have lunch with him . I’m so happy today , able to spend the day with him . I love you too ! He even called me at night even thought we had been spend the day with him .

Lucky I woke up early … having Monday blues …. I was looking for what cloths to wear , sat in front of my wardrobe … then stare into blank space … kept thinking of what happened yesterday , yesterday’s conversation between us . Was wondering … guess I really have though of starting a family and things like that with him … but now , I have to keep in view about that … um , dream . Another thing came into my mind … should I tell him about the short term , medium term and long term goals ? Hm … I am able to think about our goals … Went school , Vasgui was there asking me to lent her my Computer MCQ to copy . I simply refuse . Asked her how many questions she want to copy , “ 28 … wait , there’s 30 or 60 questions ?? “ She does not even know how many questions there are ! Went to the lab and check up my practical test …. Next week ! Went to the library to do finish the lab thingy … then Janani told me secretly that my bra was weird … Went food junction , dump my bag then go to the restroom to adjust … brought my lunch …. Janani was even waiting for me before digging in . So nice …. Was buying drink from the fast food junction after meal when I saw Sok Ee … wanted to complain to her but she have lesson … then she told me that she would call tonight . Haha … wonder how she is with her guy too … Went library again , asked Amanda to help me submit my Computer thingy , but I have no envelope .. Never mind . Amanda called , saying that she can’t find the room , but somehow … it was submitted . Then our dear Janani called saying that there was no lecture today ! Haha … then she came to the library to accompany me . Went home , slept , then he called me … Just talked …. He called t night too … haha Hm …. At first , I though that he would not call again . Waited till 11.30pm or 12.30am … he called again . Ha ha …. Then he was like … angry with me because I stayed up and waited for him .

Hm , nothing much today . He messaged me … 10/6/2006 , 4.01pm , how are you doing dear ?

Was late for School , met the gang outside the Level 6 tutorial room …. The very first thing Vasgui said to me was , it was all my fault for being late , if I were early , they would have straight 2 hours of break . I was like … what ? It was later then I realized that the class had been divided into 2 , the students choose their own group . If everyone in a group is present , then they can go in … but the group was not full as I was late … Thus , we went to the Library to do last minute work for presentation . We were 2 minutes late for the tutorial … and the tutor scolded us like … HELL ! She was there , say that the another gang was angry with us for being late , and that we did not even apologizes for being late . When she finally finished her lecture , she wasted more time … She asked for our names , and wrote an “ L “ beside the tick , “ L “ for late .. Hello , we were only 2 minutes late , furthermore , there were 10 minutes grace period !!! This means , we were “ early “ for 8 minutes ? Everyone was talking about the tutor after tutorial …. Vasgui said something again … if I were early , the whole gang would not have seen the tutor’s face in the first place ! Um … I had tried my very best , haven I ?! Furthermore , I had informed Janani that I would be late . Went to the Computer Lab with Min Hui after School , after that I went home . Was at Jurong East MRT station when Brother messaged me and told me that he would be home for dinner , but he don’t want any rice . I was at the Arise looking at the belts when he messaged . Called him , he’s reaching Jurong East Station . Brother called again and told me that he was at the Popular CD Rama . Went to meet him , showed him the belts I set my eyes onto when we came out of Popular . Went to the entertainment centre and shopped a little , deciding what to have for dinner at the same time . Ended up at Pizza Hut , Brother ordered a pizza with 2 different drinks . I asked him to buy a plate of chicken wings too .

He replied me via SMS . Anyway everything was fine now . Furthermore , he even said what … “ did we ever fight? “

Hm , can’t recall what happened … however, quite sad … I’ve forgotten what actually happened … yup , he told me that he still has feelings for his ex crush …. I was like … what the ?! SIX months after being together , yet , he still has some feelings for his ex ? Then … who was I actually to him ? Some substitute for his ex crush is it ? After so long being together , I am not able to make a guy love me whole hearty , could not make a guy treasure , love me for who I am , what I am , he still have feelings for another girl …. Who was I actually to him for the past 6 months and 8 days to him ??? I am not willing to share his heart with any other people … It’s so unfair ! I …. I don’t understand why … Anyway , he messaged me , at 12.29am … asking me to sleep … it’s his order … sort of fought with him

Hm … Forgotten what happened today , just know that I received a message from him , saying that he missed me . 6/6/2006 , 10.25pm Dear I miss you . It was followed by a call on my hand phone at 11.45pm . I miss you too .

Had the HS1026 tutorial , and we knew our results of our presentation done last Friday . Tutor decided to tell the grades one by one …. 1 subgroup by1 subgroup . I’m in the 4th subgroup … so , I had to wait … By the time it was our turn , I went to the teacher’s desk . She was like saying something and was arranging the files . I thought that she’s going to show us our results … I herd Rashmi said , “ Ok , we got an A “ I was like … huh , like that only … we know our results verbally ? Hm , never mind … we got an A … whereas other subgroup in my tutorial group got a B , or B+ … He messaged me and I told him the good news , he said he would reward me with food . Haha … Yeah , but I want home cooked food , cooked my him … haha . Anyway , rushed finished the Computer thingy and I got to locate my way to the Lecture’s room . He called while I was looking for the room . Talked to him , found the room too . Submitted my project and went home , saw Janani and Rashmi on my way , so went with them , but I was on the phone with him .. So … too bad . He called again twice at night …. And I’m thinking ... he had came back to me , he’s back to normal already , he’s the same as before .

Woke up , did some work , and then bathed . Planned to wear a white dress , but changed my mind at the last minute , however , Mum and Brother insisted that I wear the white dress , which I did . Met Nataya and her Dad at Toa Payoh Popular , followed by Dianna . Ate at the Koufu , Dianna treated us drinks . Haha . Hm , after the short lunch , I met my boyfriend at the Beauty World and we studied . I finished memorizing the Sociology thingy , I’m fully prepared for the MCQ test …. He helped me in my Computer thingy too . I managed to finish both project 1 and project 2’s MCQ thingy . Ate at Pizza Hut . The food was nice , however we did not order any pizza , not that I want to .. But you see , the point of going Pizza Hut is for the pizza right , and if you go there without tasting the pizza , it wouldn’t be a fulfilling tip … After our dinner we went somewhere too … Went home after that .

Tired , very tired . Woke up … Brother wanted us to help him develop photos .. Then I got to submit my Sponsorship thingy at Singapore General Hospital too . But when I called the Hospital , I was told that I’m able to submit on Monday … Anyway , I ended up going to the Hospital with Mum … submitted the documents , and Mum suggested to go Bugis . We went , shopped for a while , Mum allowed me to buy a belt , but the design was not as nice as those I saw at Toa Payoh . Went to a buffet and ate … It was nice … and Mum was saying things like … Next time can go to the restaunt with my boyfriend and eat …. Was a bit angry at Mum though … she was not sure of the direction to the place … and we got sort of lost … Went home … actually planned to do my Computer thingy … but well , was tired , thus I went to sleep instead … Woke up … slack … I got to learn my Sociology too … I must get at least an A … so that if I did not do well for my structured essay questions , at least those MCQ would be able to pull my marks up . Bit come to think of it .. I am able to learn my Sociology tomorrow when I meet my boyfriend … as for my Computer , I can do it on Monday . That’s the dateline … and I’m confident , with my skills and knowledge of Microsoft , I am able to finish it on time . So , whole day slacking for me !

I stayed in School , printing out the e-learning thingy … Actually decided to go for the HS1028 Module Briefing , but I changed my mind , printing things took up too much of my time … I went to Mind Champs and work … Knock off later than usual as it was their graduation day … So fast …. Classes by classes , they came from all walks of life , grew together as a whole every week during their lessons , and left at the very end of the lesson with a speech for their patents. Sort of sad … after all , for the past 4 months , we had been together , now , in a blink of an eye , everyone’s gone … when’s the next time we would meet again as a whole class ? Would we be meeting as a class every again in the first place ? Anyway , I called Him … no respond . Holding my phone on my hand … just in case he calls .. But , nope , he did not … Walked home from the bus stop , saw Mr. Goh , he was pacing up . Chatted with him … it was then I realized that somebody had called me … it must be him . After finishing my conversation with Mr. Goh , I took out my hand phone . 1 missed call and 1 message from him . The message read , “ Did you call me ? “ I was a bit …I don’t know . It seemed like I can only contact him when I have something important , I cannot contact him to chat … Anyway , I called him back and he called my home … etc … Talked with him .

Have to reach School at 8am again , having an extremely important presentation today , it would be graded , there would be a skit … Changed into my nurse uniform and went to the classroom … Subgroup 3 presented first … then my group presents the PowerPoint slides … I was so careless , I have 3 slides to present , but I kept forgetting about the last slide …. I went back to my place after saying 2 slides … then realized that I have 1 more slide to go . Anyway , after the PowerPoint , we resent for the class a skit . Before the role play , other team member was still talking , I had eye contact with Janani , she gave me a thumb up sign , just simply thingy , it gave me confidence . For the role play , I was acting as a bad nurse . Lecture commented about each subgroup before dismissing us for Sociology Tutorial . Before Bioscience practical lesson , we waited outside the lab and talked … about the KK Women and Children Hospital … looking after children better , or elderly women . I choose children … okay , they reject my choice . They felt that it’s very heart brokering … For example , a child was diagnosed with blood cancer , yet he was still happily playing , not knowing that soon , he would have no more strength to do simple tasks , no longer run and laugh , no longer be around … I agree , it might be very sad , but , why don’t we let them enjoy , and we share their happiness too ? Yes , they don’t know anything , they have no idea , totally clueless about what is going on inside the small body of theirs … but , their inconnence , make me want to protect them more , because of their innocence , they laugh and brighten up my day , knowing that they are having fun . Anyway , after Lecture , all of the gang went back home .