I finally went back to City Harvest Church after 2 to 3 months . Time just fly . Met Diana and we played with the lift . Diana brought for me cheese fries ! I went , there were newcomers ... which means that I have to reachout to them and so on , which of couse , I did not . Yi Sin was not around too , strange ! Seems that she went missing once I went for the ALW thingy .

I went to Centrepoint to do my wrok again . After that , I went to shop . I was shopping at the Urban Warehouse when a bag caught my eyes . There were 2 different colours , white and black , mini in size , I simply love it ! Thus , I dailed my Mum's number and she gave me the permission to buy it . Hehe . I've got a new bag !

The best part of the day was during English lesson . It seemed that every Friday is " praise day " for me . That time when my English Teacher prasied me , it was on a Friday too . Haha . My English Teacher said that I'm very Chinese , from a Chinese family , family speaks Mandarin and I am the CHinese Dance Troupe Leader . Hm , English Teacher praised Yi Yang too . Haha . She even read out both Yi Yang and my composition for the whole class . Yup ... my English Teacher siad a lot of things , she even used her hand , put it on my chin and lift my face up . She never regret pumbing in 2 more marks for my English Lanauge so that I can get promoted to Secondary 4 . I stayed back for Physics and went to Ai Hui's house to do the CME project . I wish that there would be more days like this . Maybe next Friday ?

I woke up and felt very cold . I used my left hand to rub my right arm and vice versa . Got scolded again . Who cares ! Hm , that bread for breadfast wasn't nice at all ! Yucks ! Before the flag raising , Ai Hui came to School and asked me , " You're cold ? " " Huh ? " I paused for a while " Um , I don't know , " came my reply . 2 tests today . English and Physcics . Argh ! Prepared to flunk ! During assembly , Ms Ong came and asked me , " You got receive my message ? " " Oh , yes . " I assured Ms Ong . Yes , I did receive her message . You see , I angered her yesterday during her Self Study slot , thus , I messaged her and apologised . She cautioned me not to do it again . My tummy was very pain , for no reason .... Childhood illness again ? Gee , I don't know . Went Ai Hui's house to do the CME project . I got home and Mum started nagging again . At night , Brother and Mum were watching television programme and both of them were laughting so much !

Not a very good day today . First , I broke the measuring cylinder during Chemistry lesson ... Gee , I guess it was my very first time breaking something inside the Chemsitry Lab . Way to go , gal ! Second , Hazel joined them ( Ai Hui , Mei Qi ... etc ) for lunch . It was nothing much but it was like .. I'm the odd one out or something . Then , during the Chemistry Self Study Lesson , MS Ong gave us some work to do then she went out . I completed the work and borrowed the Newspaper from my classmate and began reading . I was so engrossed in the article that I did not noticed that Ms Ong came back . I heard her saying something to the class then I gasped . Ms Ong heard my gasped and saw the Newspaper on my table . I was actually sitting right infront of her desk ! Ms Ong got angry and left the room at once and I began crying . It was all my fault .. Mei Qi was sitting in between Ai Hui and I . She told me that it's alright . Hm , supposed to have Physics , I intercalled for Mr Khor , inside , Mr Koh came out ... Gee ... There was tuition at night . The tutor ended at 9pm or something ?? I don't know . I just can't wait to kick him out of my life .

I woke up and found myself hugging my Teddy Bear ... My Teddy Bear alarm clock ! Hm , strange things do happen when you are unconscious . In School , Ai Hui joined Hazel for Geography . Was a bit angry with her ... Yup . I went home and changed , ate dinner and left to meet Steve . He said he has some tickets ... for some chior presention . I boared the train and as usual , I read my novel . Soon , I reached my stop . I got up and saw someone ... Yes ! It's him ! It's him ! I whisper his name , hoping that he would be able to hear me . But he did not ... I raised my voice higher a bit ... and higher . The amplitude was higher ... and finally , he heard me . " Oh , hi . " He said . Just an " oh hi " ... He wasn't surprised or anything . He must had seen me and kept quiet ... Yes , he nust had . He got down at the same stop as me . We talked . He don't even remember my age , or my secondary level ! God , why did I have a crush on someone whom don't even care about my existence , who don't even call me when he saw me , who had clearly forgotten about my Secondaru level , which shows that he don't care about me at all ! Apathetic him , pathetic me . Met Steve and we went for the Choir peresention . Chey , it was actually performed by thoese Schools who won a gold award for the Singapoer Youth Festivle ... And Steve sent there because he needs to write a report for his CCAs . Steve was meeting girls after girls ... Went he reached the MRT Station , we were boarding the different direction . Some other girl was with him . He did not even realized that I was suppose to take another train . He just left with that girl without saying good bye ... Went home . And ponder . How many people do you bump into each day ? And how many of thoese you bumped into so happened to be your friend , or you bumped into them more than once ? Hoe namy friends you bump into while you were out ? How many friend have you met and how many of your friends managed to make your legs go weak ?

Well , I don't know what happened today . I was hurling vulgarities and insults throughout the whole day . Mum don't let me go Church for some reason or another ... I was so fed up with her , she broke her promise . She never let me go Church !

I was allowed to go to Centrepoint to study . Thus , I went . I did my work and boarded the bus home . On my way , I called my Mum . She was at Centerpoint , and she admited that she intents to sport check on me ! Can you believe it ? She just don't believe and trust and have faith in me , her one and only daughter ! She'll thinks that I'm hanging out with some guy ... solo , dating , having sexual congress . How can I study and aim high , in peace with these knid of doubts around me ? Expically from my love one ? I mean , I can really study well at Centrepoint , I won't sleep , or come online or play Bears with Brother . Hm , Brother can study well without me interputing and disturbing him too . Hello , one O level , another A level ! You think I would backstab both of us by not studying well ? I was really studying ! Yes , I did ! I can swear ! I almost cried in the bus after hanging up the phone with Mum . Just that I did not ... I remembered what I said few days ago ... About ... " I pointed at my image and cursed , 1 day , I would survive , I would have lots of money , and you won't get any share . You get out of my sight ! "

Hm , we were supposed to submit an essay on " Obsession " . Well , let me tell you , I've decided not to hand in that essay . I'm not going to hand it in ! Why ? Well , the reason is very simple . Because ... I ran out of ideas , and the only thing to make my essay outstanding is to write about my past , why I don't want to ... Thus , I stopped writing it half way and set my mind in not handing in that assignment . Hm , come to think of it , I believe that most of us won't hand it in too .

A very strange turn of events ... After the assembly today , I was walking down the stairs when I caught sight of Miss Ang . I greeted her , as usual . Then , Miss Ang suddenly asked me if I want to go back to Chinese Dance . I ended up aggreing . Thus , I went with Ai Hui ... etc to eat at the coffee shop . After that , I went back for Chinese Dance . It felt strange , but .. well , anything ... If only both Lydai and Sok Ee were around ... it would be so fun , like last time ... I miss them a lot ...

It poured this morning , while I was on my way to School . My shoes were soaked . We went to the library for the last period . I read the Calvin and Hobbies comic with Ai Hui . She suddenly got up , " What are they doing ? " , she wondered . Ai Hui went to look for them , leaving me all alone . After some time , when she did not appeared , I went looking for her . I found out that she was using the computer ! Thus , I challanged her in a moment of angry , " why you never call me ? " I don't know when , but Mei Qi joined Ai Hui . After a while , I not sure who asked , either Mei Qi or Ai Hui wanted to know my website . Of couse I told them , and we are both friends again . Out of the coner of my eyes , I saw Mei Qi reading AI Huo's blog . I went in too ... Went for Social Studies Self Study . Nothing much . I went home . Oh , I've got 8/10 for my GCE O Level Listening ! I was actually expecting a full mark . However , I am pleased with my performances . No mourning for the lost of 2 marks . My mood could not be better when Mum told me that that tutor would not be coming today ! Yeah ! Futhermore , Brother was home early and there was curry chicken . What could be better ?

Okay , settled . I went to do my work at Centrepoint till afternoon , then I would meet my Mum at the bus stop , both of us would go and meet Kelvin Cousin and Shawn Shawn . We would proceed to catch the movie . Yup ... However ... Gee ... As you know , it was that time of the month .... Yup ... And somehow , I forgot to bring extra um ... yar ... I was forced to go to the supermarket to um .... We would be watching a movie , for god's sake ! Futhermore , it was only the second day ! You ask me to last for about an hour inside the big box ... and don't change ?! When it was time to meet Mum , I was queuing up to pay my purchase inside the supermarket .... Mum called ... she was furious that I was late . Haha .... Watched the Fantastic 4 movie . It was a simple and nice movie for everyone ... Easy to understand and interesting . Haha .. Mum and I went back home after the movie ... It was then I recalled , it had been some times since Mum had watched a moive inside the cinema . I really hope that Mum enjoyed the film as much as I do . Come to think of it , it's Sunday today , right ?! If so , how come I was found inside the movie house instead of City Harvest Church ??

I was at the Centrepoint doing my work when Cousin called me . She told me that The Straits Time has coupons for the moive , Fantastic 4 . I was ordered to buy cpoies of The Straits Times and to check if the place was crowded with people . I did as told . However , I was told that we did not manage to get the movie tickets as it had been sold out . Too bad . But some good news , the coupons lasted for 2 days , today and tomorrow . Thus , we would be trying out luck tomorrow .

Well , nothing much today . I went home to get $4.oo for the class photos and I joined Ai Hui , Mei Qi , Hui Min at the Coffee shop . We walked around before returning back to School for Mother Tongue Listening . Mum contected me and I actually wanted to tell her about the Moter Tongue Listening , that she can hear it over the radio ... However , I ended up not telling her . 1162/03 .

Hm , I don't know what happened today . Guess I woke up late or something today ... Managed to go to School . There was Literature , it was very what ... serious , I don't know how to say it . Well , Zhi Hui's group performed , and teacher called , " Mei Qi's group . " Hazel , who was in Zhi Hui's group presented durign the first period , and they clapped , I clapped for her too . Since I contributed the least during the discussion , I was given the honour to present . Thus , I went up . Firstly , I stood at the wrong place . Never mind . Then , I began presenting . To me , presenting is like singing . You will sound shaky at first . I soon got the hands of it and presented it nicely . But the very last transparency , some of the words were smeared . Mathani told me that the words is " internal conflict . " Thus , I echoed , " internal conflict . " Little do I know that it was wrong ! At the end of my presention , nobody clapped ! NOBPDY CLAPPED .... !!! Suddenly , I wished that I was in my own ALW class. No matter what , they would clap for me , so that I am able to anchor the moment . Haiz ... Anyway , when Literature finally ended , Mathani came forward to get our Literature to sign , then sheapologized to me . For what ? I don't know . Ai Hui came and told me that it wasn't internal conflict , it was some other conflict . Iwas like ... oh , ok , whatever . Later in the day , Sumathi said sorry to me too .... Why must everyone feel guilty ?? I mean ... I would rather wish that the feel guilty for not clapping for me , instead of telling me the wrong words ... I mean , " internal conflict " sounds alright , it fits perfectly into the sentance ... In the evening , Mum asked me to bath and have a nap after that . I did as told . " LIEW MU JIE !!! " I woke up with a shock . It was Mum and she was angry . I went to eat and Mum told me in a very mean voice to finish my meal in 15 minutes time . It was about 6.55pm , 7pm . I finished my meal at 7.20pm . It was still alright ! Instead , I don't know what she did ... If my memory served me right , she caned me using a wooden rule ... Yes , she must had done that , caned me . I cried , I went inside my room and looked at my reflection in my full length mirror . I pointed at my image and cursed , 1 day , I would survive , I would have lots of money , and you won't get any share . You get out of my sight ! Kai Xin came to my house a while later and we had tuition .

I don't know why . Either my alarm was not working or I never heard it or Mum woke me up eariler . I went to have a drink and layed my head on the dinning table . Hm , what's taking Mum so long .... ?? I waited and waited ... Mum finally came out . Yup , she came out .... She came out and slapped me ! She yelled that she was applying medicine only . I went inside the Master bedroom and sobbed on the bed . Crazy ! As if I know what she was doing inside ! You think I am able to predicate things or what !? Just because you never tell me that you were ill , it does not mean that I derserve a big tight slap from you ! B***H !

There was the New South Wales Maths today at 2pm ... Hm , well , I also don't know . I mean , you know that you would not score , so why still take part , wast money and time , right ?! Haha ... Okay , so , I sat for the test and done my best . Period .

Okay , so , today was the very last lesson . Why is it that we akways have to say good bye ? Itis very sad . First , Church , then now this . Never mind . So , we played our very last game . You act something and people guess what you are . Me ? Haha , I acted as a bear , what else ?! Then ... speech . Blah , blah , blah ... Mum used Brother's handphone and called me . So , Brother would be around ! Yeah ! MY BROTHER WOULD BE AROUND !!!! So , speech ... Mum and Brother would be late , I told my trainner . Thus , my placed was changed . Actually I was the third or fouth people to give the speech , but I ended up being the second last , after the grid thingy . Well , since it was after the grid thingy , I got everyone's attention ! They laughted at my jokes .... Well , I ended my speech by doing soemthing so unexpected ! I never thought I would do such a thing , but I did ! Oh my .... You know hwat I've done ? I ended my speech by sayign , " Mum , I love you . " I must have been under to mych " speech - stress " to do such a thing . I must have been crazy ! Too stressful for me to do a speech , I believe . A lot of people cried during their speech ... even our giant ! I was scared that I would cry too ... however , I used humor to cover it up . Anyway , we took some photos and then , Mum , Brother and I went to the First Food Mall to eat . Jeannie and her Mum was around too ... futhermore , I bumped into Natalie . Mum , Brother and I ate athe BBQ thingy , which was yummy . Haiz .... Okay , I must confess , I was really glad that I did not cry during my speech , and glader when I said the three words to Mum at the end of my speech , even though it must have been done in a moment of over stressed . However , I was quite sad .... Next week , Church ... He still have not contected me .... I would be back .... Good bye to my ALW friends again ... Good bye again , to people whom I like , whom I loved hanging around with ....

Why is saying good bye so hard ?! I cried again at night .... Poor me . Tomorrow , is the last day , and I would be back next week ... First , he still haven contect me , even though I heard that others noticed my absent from City Harvest Chruch . How can someone be so cruel ??!! Second , before I go for my ALW class , I have thoughts of being hostile towards the people there . However , can you believe how much I've changed . Now that the class is ending , I'm missing them ! The worst is that I was crying all because I am leaving them , and then I would be back to Chruch , which is another sad part since he never call me up . Haiz ... feelings ... I miss him so much .... Tomorrow ... Tomorrow ...

I went to Centrepoint after School . Mum allowed , and she would be hanging around that area too . Cousin and Mum appeared together in a taxi , which I boared and went to Cousin's house . There , I had my dinner . My aunty drove us home , however , she was not familar with the road , we ended up going to some other places , I guess we were heading towards the checkpoint ? Hm , aunty brought us ice creams to eat on her car ... can you believe it ? She allowed us to have ice creams on the car ! Haha , anyway , Mum and I reached home safty ... Ha ha .

Okay , so ... it was the GCE O LEvel Chinese Oral ! 1162/03 at 1415 . Haha ... Gee , I've forgotten what happened .... Anyway , no matter what , I knew that II've done my very best . I know that my reading of the passage was all over ... I don't know most of the words . However , the conversation part was still ok ... I guess so . Hm , it was over , why think about it ?!

I went IMM with Jin Hong and did some work ... Well , nothing much ... Jus did my maths then went home . Li Hui contected me and I told her where I went ... Hope that it was not too much ... Jin Hong even messaged me when we parted , he wished me good luck for my O Levels , which I really needs it ! Hahaha .

During the morning , Celine taught us about making concept maps for our subjects . She needed a math paper , which I had it wait me . I lent her and she taught us . Went Buger King to have lunch , then went back for ... test ! The spelling and meaning thingy was still acceptable ... Then the paper part , hm ... it was easy ! Yeah ! I went home after buying 2 chickens from the cold sotrage . I went online at night , and Jin Hong asked me to meet him tomorrow . However , there was something wrong with my computer , thus , Jin Hong eneded up messageing me .

I went with Mum and Brother to West Mall ahd had our breadfast at the Coffee Bean . It was supposed to be a study group , but I ended up watching " A lot like love " with Hafiz . After that , we went to " More then words " . I saw a diary file , but I don't felt like buying it . I went to Starhub and completed my Maths . I felt bored , thus , I went to the Ngee Ang City MPH Bookshop , and the toys department . After that , I went to level 4 , the creative arts level . I went inside the Art Friends .... Strolled , strolled , strolled ... I was 2 Bear A4 size paper . It costed $0.63 each . I took it . SInce I can't fine my ideal ring file , I can use that and wrap my file . I saw a ring file , black , grey and bule , with lightening picture I was happy but I want bears pictures , disney pictures .. Not sll these lightening pictures . Nevermind , I walked and walked . Suddenly , I turned and something caught my eyes ... Bears ... I walked towards it . It's a ring file ! There's a bear at it's front and on it's spine . But ... it is too big for me to carry it to School . Hm , but Chemistry , Physics and Geography worksheets do need a file as big as that . However ... there arn't any price tags . Futhermore , there was so many things there , I mean , on the shelf ... There was only 2 or 3 " lightening files " which I saw just now . Opps , I must have went into the store room . I went out and saw a guy . " How much is this ? " I asked . " I'll check it for you . " And he did . It was about $5.00 . I took it , together with a black lightening file and 2 Bear papers . I carried on shopping and I saw thoese lightening notebook and pens and pencile box . I took a blue pen with the black lightening . I queed up . Soon , it was my turn ... however , the customer before me came back and climed that there's something wrong with the price . The lady cashier said , " sorry , could you go to that counter please ? " " Okay . " I went . I was walking when I had eye contect with the another lady cashier . We smiled to each other . She gave me a pencile too and even double checked with me if I got back my bank card . Hehe , it was like ver high class .... The price was acceptable too , $11.00 total . I went back home and realized that I had neither eatten lunch nor dinner . I brough noodles home . Chatted with Diana and Kai Xin . Do you know what Kai XIn messaged ?! " Yup , everyone missed you presence , okay , we'll keep our fingers crossed . Another personal question , does she ground you from Church purposely because you enjoy it a lot ? " " Ooh , don't need to feel bad that you can't come . This sitiation can't be controlled by you . It's not that you purposely ground yourself at home . You've tried your best . I don't see why your Mum has to put Church and results together . It's not like we tell you to stop studying . It's like you're overweight but does that mean you stop eating ? But don't despair , we'll keep you in prayers . She'll come to understand one day . " Argh ! Can you believe it ?! She messaged me all thoese ! I don't know what to say ...

I grouped with Li Xin , Fauzi ... etc .. for the geography project . It was just a small project ... write about the polluants ... etc ... Anyway , I saw them passing up the project without me ... I mean , thay did the project without me ! I went West Mall in the afternoon , then had Kai Xin's tuition at night . We took the care bears pictures and Kai Xin sent it to me .. Hehe .