Happy Teacher's Day to every Teacher ! Wow ! I can't wait ! I would be perfoming for the whole school , and what's more ..... I am the main lead in this dance ... as you know , one of our formation is a pyramid , and I was in the very middle of the pryamid ! Another formation of our dance was the normal two rows . As we got to be paired up in this dance , my parnter and I was in the very middle of the stage in the front row , with two other pair by each of our side ! Wonderful ! I believe that the dance was wonderful ... ha ha ... but the other performances were not . There were some mic problem ..... too bad ! Lucky my item was at the top of the list . Went back to class after the whole Teacher's Day performaces ..... Only I wore sleevesless shirt ! Ha Ha , never mind ! I am borned sexy and beautiful ! Not scared of letting people see my arms ! Form Teacher was to take over the class , and out mointer stood in the middle of the class asking our class some quiz .... Mr Goh was sittng on the Teacher's Table . I sat right in front of the Teacher's Table , with Ai Hui right beside me . While our mointor was asking the quiz , Ai Hui suddely asked me if I want to give the Teacher's Day card to Mr Goh now .... I agree ..... not now then when ? I passed two cards to Mr Goh's Table ..... One was from me , another one was form Ai Hui . Mr Goh took the care and asked , " Who give one ? " I replied with a smile " Don't know ..... " While Ai Hui reply " One from me another from .... " She pointed her fingers to me .... " Huh ? No .... nope ! Not from me ! " Mr Goh now knowing the truth .... he questioned " Don't know from who is it ? " " Huh .... yar ... I do not know ... No idea ! " Ai Hui ! Stop pointing firnger ! Recess followed ..... Ai Hui , Mei Qi , He Er and I went to the Teacher's Office to inter - call our teachers .... Argh ! I called one teacher .... Mr Goh , who was inside the office , shaked his hand to show us that the teacher was not in . I called another teacher , got the same respond from Mr Goh .... Tried our luck again ... Mr Goh finally came out of the Staff Room and told us that all Lower Secondary Teachers are having lessons ! We gave up and we went floor by floor to find teachers . You see , we would do anything to give our loving Teachers our token of appreciation , we are most ready to find our Teachers to show our gratitude , we are ready to go the distance to let our caring Teachers to know our Thanks .

Went to school for Chinese Oral guess I flunked it ! I do not know how to pronouce most of the words ! But luckly , the conversation saved me ! Ha Ha , guess I talked too much crap with my friends through MSN messanger conversation windows , that's why I am able to go that well for my conversation ....... I knew that I did well for my conversation because when I was about to run off , my teacher told me " Your reading was not that good , but you conversation was excellent ( I talked too much crap ! ) , so , I would be giving you marks for your conversation " There was Teacher's Day full dress rehersal , I went to change and well , the Chinese Dance members danced in the buring hot sun , in the carpark ! Well , it went all right , we were allowed to put up the item for the Teacher's day .... Luckly ! I mean ... everyone worked so hard , putted in so much effort and so on ... staying back every single day to practise and leran .... we do deserve something ! After dancing , I went to find Mr Goh ..... Sat for the same Amath Function test ! Well , do not know if I can reach HIS target or not as I do not have the answers to revise ( refer to the post on 21/8/2004 ) .... I did the test based on my intelligence .... Went to Popular after that , brought lots of stationary .... Well , there was dicount .... so I guess it won't burn my pocket ... no harm after all ! I skipped my Chinese Tuition again and I went for the Zpop concert with my church friends to support our Pastor , Sun ...... It went out alright ....... the concert was acceptabe ... but we got to stand ! So , I ended up sitting on the grass patch with one of my church friends ...... I left straight after my Pastor sang .... rushing home to do Maths , as a matter of fact ..... I told the church friend whom I was sitting with that I got to go home , and she send me to the exit of the concert and then she went back to meet up with the other members ....... I was on my way alone to the MRT when I received a thousand phone call on my Handphone ! Mum called and asked why I left without the rest and she even scold me .... Kai Xin called and bombarded me with the same question ! Kai Xin even said things like ... my mum allowed me to go for the Zpop concert all because I am going with the Church members , she wanted me to go with them , hang around with them , leave with them ! Overall , what my mum wants is - me hanging out with the church ! Oh my God ! What is this ? I am already a mature fifteen year old teenager ! I am capable of taking care of myslef , able to board the trains and buses all alone ! I know what's the different between black and white , been educated of what's wrong and what is correct ! Oh Mum ! Are you telling me that rushing home to do homework was wrong ? You allowed you preious girl to slack in her work , Math somemore ! Mum , I thought you always agree that your daughter should increase her studying time by decreasing her play time ? And now what ? I wanted to go home and study ! To do that ever persent subjuect - MATH ! Oh mummy ! Do you know that how many retest had you daughter sat ? Retest and re- retest ! I doubt that I can even pass the Amath Function test which I sat for this afternoon ! Oh my ! Brother ! Brother ....... Mum , you allowed Brother to stay out till midnight .... and yet .... it's only eight plus in the night ! The night is still very very young compare to midnight ! And yet ... what is this ? Mum , you don't even know if Brother goes home by himself or what ..... alone or together with his bunch of friends ! Okay .... maybe Brother stayed and waited for his friends to go home with him ..... but hey ! My Brother is so much educated then me ! Brother could socialise with his bunch of friends .... he could jolly well enjoy conversation with his schoolmates ! He was in the special stream , went to Junior Collage , and yet ..... I am just a bearly above average Express studen ! I might even have difficulty going into " ITE " ! Mum , you expected me to make a fool out of myself and let people see me as a " no parents to teach " child ? Kai Xin told me to wait for her at the MRT station .... it was a long lonly road to the Station .... I cried ! I cried while walking to the Station ! Why no ones understands me ? I only wished that Brother was with me ..... Now , Brother , stop saying " Asking for it ! " I went to the Station to wait for Kai Xin ..... and sat at the same place where I sat with him months ago ..... He had sat with me at the same place , waiting together with me ...... I was supposed to meet Brother at that time and I would be going home with Brother ..... He sat beside me .... together with me , waiting for my Brother ! We even messaged when we reached home ... It was Heaven at that time ! Kai Xin came and kept on asking questions ........ Haiz ! We went to the Burger King to eat ...... Kai Xin choosed a seat ...... It was the same seat where I had sat together with my Brother and Him ! But it was on a different day ... different from the day when he accompany me to wait for my Brother .... Kai Xin ordered food and shared with me ..... I ate some .... and then the rest of my Church friends came ...... After eating .... I was finally allowed to go home ! I went home and did my Maths till 1 am like that .......

Such an unlucky day ! Forget to bring Literature novel for Literature , first and seconnd period ! After Literature was Chemistry ........ Miss Ong never come to school ....... Recess followed by English ......... my summary was not done , forced to complete it outside the classroom with the rest of those classmates of mine whose homework was not done too . Social Studies ..... test ! Mother Tongue ..... there would be Chinese Oral tomorrow , and I forget to being the sack of papers from pass years , which we would be tested on tomorrow ! Minus 5 marks if get less then 15 for Chinese Oral ....... * Cross Fingers * Chinese Dance after School ...... was told full dress but ended up not ...... Well , it did not go right ! Those perfects said that we do not dance as a whole ..... some of us our steeps faster , others lagged ! Was forced to choose three pairs instead ...... Needless to say , I was the weakest ..... felt ashame .... but no choice ........ nevertheless , was glad that all my members stood by me and comforted me , taught me the correct steeps ...... Most of us cried when we were repreminded by one of the perfect , Terri . We put in so much effort , energy and time in learning the steeps , but yet it turned out like that ! What is this ? She was so bossy ! We had to struggle between two dances , one on the 15/08/2004 ( refer to the post ) another is this dance , she thinks we very free ? Fat Hope .... I went looking for Mr Goh during break ...... tomorrow got A math retest on functions , for me alone and yet I still do not have the correct workings , retest would be useless and would not serve its purpose ! I asked him for his own set of answer key , he do not let me have it .... told him I got no one to ture to already , he do not care , said it's my fault ! I should be looking for the answers on the very day when he return the test paper ! WHat is this world turing to ? Firstly , I forget to bring Literature novel , summary not done for English and was forced to sit outside the classroom to do , minus 5 marks if I do not score at least a 15 for tomorrow Chinese Oral , might be kick out of the dance if I still do not know the steeps , perparing to fail tomorrow A Math function RE test ! Headache !

Early in the morning got scolded ! I was doing my CURSED file and Mr Goh saw that , he said something like ........ How come so long , over the weekend , your file is still not done ? Argh ......... I finally handed up to him during the second recess ....... but I do not have my E Math Mid Year Exam 2004 test paper ....... He asked me how ..... I told him just hand up ( was too tired to do the paper ) Mr Goh tried to frighten me by saying it would be given to the principal to check ..... what if he find out ? I just struggle and told him I want to hand up ....... Wait till I am that unlucky when the principal really check my file then say ........ And Mr Goh asked me to pray hard so ...... Yeah ! Was feeling very happy ........ finally handed up the file ! One more job completed ! Went with my Mother to collect my passport ..... would be flying on the 3rd of September to Westen Australia as an education trip ! Can't wait ?

I woke up at 4 am , to do some homework , got back to sleep and woke up again after one hour ........ Got to go back to school for some file fileing ! ( Read the post on 20/08/04 ) , plus Teacher's Day's reheasal . I was early , Mr Goh had not reach the school yet , I went out of the School to make a call on my Handphone ....... And then ........... " Nice phone you have " I turned ............ Mr Goh ! Oh , hi ? What an excellent time for you to reach the School ........ when I am making a call ! Did some filing till 9 am and I escaped ! I went for Teacher's Day rehersal ...... should be alright ? Went back again ......... it was almost noon , some of the groups where allowed to go ! Noon passed and soon it was almost three ........ and my group was the only group left ! I was so tired and everything that I heck care ! We were finally allowed to leave at about 4 plus ...... well , it means that I missed my Chinese Tuition ! A blessing in disguise ? I was the very last one to leave ..... even my group members left before me ! And Mr Goh asked me to arrange the tables and chairs ! Hello ? Is my occupation a clearner ? Why is everyone treating me as one ? ( Read the post on 20/08/04 ) Sigh ........ Rushed to the Lakeside MRT ..... dropped down at the Jurong East interchange , then relaised that Boon Ya and Jessie boarded the same train ........ We were going to the Harmonica Band Concert , but were early , so we went to the MacDonal's to have lunch ( for me ) Other members of Chinese Dance joined us ........ Boarded the train again and went to the Viciotia Theatre ..... was early , we went to the Esplanade .... with me leading ! The concert was nice .......

Quite a number of things happened on this day ........ First period was Literature ....... Literature test ! No one can know how well he or she done ...... this type of opinion thing is very hard to say ! Well , but I guess I would be failing the test ? Then Chemistry .... practial test ! It was my very first practial test , and we were to do some titration ! I was very scard , nervous ........ I do not know to differentiate the colour of acid and bases . And guess what ? The clumsy me broke a conical flask ! I was there , trying to reach the flask during the practical ...... but I somehow pushed it and it went over the edge of the able and " Crash " I was shaking all over ! I remembered Miss Ong said that if anyone broke any appartatus , marks would be minus ! My heat must be plumbing blood with such a strong force , must be so loud , that everyone in the laboratory mush have heard my hearbeat ! Miss Ong still asked me to sweep the floor ! Um .... I thought I was there doing some stupid practial test and to to be the clearner , sweeping the floor ? Am I suppose to wash , clean , purified it with distill water and arange the appartatus after the test ? I had never in my whole life broke appartatus during classes ! And worst still , it's during a test ! What could be more worst ? Read on ! Sigh , guess it's fated ? Amath test on functions after school ........ Guess I am going to flunk like what I did to my FIRST Chemistry Practical ? I had forgetten how to cauclate the inverse functions ! Argh ! After the test was fileing ..... was to be divided into groups of four ..... ended up in a guy's group ! Well , we were the first group to show our files to Mr Goh ........ and the first group to get scolded by him all because our files arrangements were not the same ! Ended up staying back till 6 pm and got to carry on tomorrow ! It was raining by the time and I ran home in the rain ! I got tuition at 7.30 pm ! How am I suppose to eat my dinner and have a bath plus rest within one and a half hour ? But luckly , the tuition went just fine and nothing else ......... What a bad day I have ! Failed three test ( Literature , Chemistry Practical and Amath Function ! ) , broke a conical flask ( something I never done before , and what could be more worst then breaking it during a test ? ) and still got to ran home in the rain ( just because of some tuition ......... hopefully I get sick ! )

The day passed very fast indeed ..... but nevertheless , every day will have it's own advenature for us to explore ........ A few things happenend ........ mostly sad things ...... as usual ? So , let me warn you - if you do not want to read any sad post or anything of that sort , then please stop reading now ? Here's how my day goes ....... First two periods were Chinese ...... when my Chinese teacher steep into the class , her first word was spoken to me - You spoke very well that day ( refer to the post on 17/08/04 ) Wow ! I mean ..... yup , I know I spoke well , I had received a number of praises from my friends ..... But a few days had passed and yet she still remembers ! Sigh .... felt really bad thought , even she praised me ..... she had been a really good and caring teacher towards the class , each and every pupil in the class .... yet we , or me , never treasure it ! I never learn her spelling , even thought she had cancled a lot of words for us , and even told us which stentence to lean , which no need to ......... and since I always never learn her spelling , I could not atempt those questions on the test papers ! I failed all the Chinese tests ! Oh ... how sorry I am ........ but what's done is done ....... After Chinese is Social Studies ....... got back some test papers which I sat long ago ..... I suddenly realised that I might me the lowest in the class ! Recess and then Geography ........ Got back some MCQ test ........ flunked it ! 6 out of 25 or something ! Mrs Grewal never scold me or anything of that sort , never leture ....... instead , she encourged me ! She told me that if I got any problems or do not understand the subject / topic , I can ask her . She is very caring towads me ! Sigh ....... really sorry , Chinese , Social Studies and Geography teachers !

There was some survey about our Math Teacher in the Computer Lab . Did not really want to make the survey that bad and so , most of my answer was " Sometime . " Since Mr Goh never come to school yesterday , we were to hand in the Maths File today ! As usual of me , all my corrections were not done . All those Test ( all of which I failed . If I know how to do the corrections all by myslef , would I still flunk the test ? ) A few Pass Year Paper ( which I never even done a single one ) I skipped my normal Chinese Dance practice ....... Received a call from Miss Ang on my Handphone ..... she wanted a good explation for my absent for today's practice ..... I remembered a sentence clearly " I am very disappointed in you , Mu Jie . " Viven , my cell group leader contected me also . She wanted to know if I can make it for a small cell group tomorrow . I said I could not , because my Mother do not allow . Once again , I remembered a sentence clearly " I am very disappointed in you , Mu Jie . " I am very sorry , Miss Ang and Viven ..... I really do not mean it . Miss Ang : I had really truly made you disappointed . You just gave me the key yesterday , and now I had begun to rebel ! But I really got to do my Math file ! I was too scared to ask for an extension of deadline form Mr Goh .... I had been a really bad pupil of his nowadays ..... Do not really think he would tolerate this type of excueses ! I am so sorry to fail my duty as a Leader . Now that I got the chance to prove others what I am acceptable of , I showed them what a let down I am . The wrong side of me .....

I had forgetten all about my Math file ! But luckly , Mr Goh never come today ! Well , too bad for him to miss my speech ! I spoke to the whole School this morning , durning the flag rising , about what happened last Sunday ( Refer to post 15/08/2004 ). But Mr Goh got to miss it ....... he aslo . Well , he is not from my School , never in my dreams that I would bump into him durning School days . The principle even praised me right in front of the whole School ! He said " I think that girl spoke very well , lets give her a clap ! " Ha Ha ! Hello ! The very fist sentence I spoke was already wrong , I was already trembling vilontly ! There were Chinese Dance practice for the performance on Teacher's Day , and Miss Ang gave me the key to the dance room ! I am the leader ......... ! Or am I not ............ ??

I was so sleepy ! I slept at 12 am yesterday night . Got to bath and wash my hair since my hair got to look neat and tidy on stage . ( Refer to the post on 15/08/2004 ) Was sleeping during the whole flag rising . Lydia never present the token as there were far too much prizes and announcements ..... was told that our Chinese Dance would be tomorrow .... Ran 2.4 km , something which was against my wish . The result was not as well as I expected . 13 minutes plus .... It used to be 10 minutes only ! Even thought it's just an increase of a short period of three minutes , it was was very disappointing ! Maybe it's due to the Physics topic which we are learning now - Acceleration and deceleration ..... Durning our CME period , we were told to pass a piece of foolscape around within the group with your name written . You got to write good things about the person's name . I was surprised to find out that many of my classmates wrote things like " Bookworm " , related to Books . Went for Chinese Dance practise for Teacher's Day . When it ended , I went with Lydia to drink Bubble tea . Got scolded by Mum when I reached home late . I told her that I got CCA , but she caught sigh of me when I was on my way to the Bubble Tea shop ! Had a little fight with my Mum ......

Pulled myself out of the bed in the morning at 7 am . Rushed to the 7 - eleven to find out that I was eariler then Yi Sin . Browsed in the shop for some time before Yi Sin made her apperence . Decided to buy a packet of potato chips for the latter part of the day and a packet of marshmallow for my Brother and Me . We were very earily for the morning service . Sat in the Basement for some time before the service start . The service was excellent as we were celebrating our fifteen anversary . Went for the fun fair in my Church , an event to bring joy to the place . The nail art station caught my eye and I went for it . Saw Mr Lim on the way out of the Church and chatted with him for some time . It was still early ( for my later programme ) and so Yi Sin and I decided to go to Jurong Point . I ate at the KFC while Yi Sin just sat there looking at me as I munch down my lunch . She would be having her lunch at home . Went to School and have my hair - do done by Miss Ang . When the whole troupe arrived we boarded the bus and reached the Jubilee Hall , Raffles Hotel . A few rounds of practice were as followed . We were given a break wich was packed with - Make - up , change of costum and a Chicken Rice Dinner . Much to my surpirse , I saw an item on the schulde of performances . Theree was an item put up by the " NJC Cheerleaders " . Well , my dear Brother is in National Junior Collage . And one of my Brother's Co - curricular activitiy is Cheerleading ! But I doubt that he is still in the Co - curricular activitiy since he is so busy with his another C0 - curricular activity and missed lots of practices . I asked one of the girls during the break and they knew who I am or rather , they knew who my Brother is ! Soon , it's time for our performaces ! The performance was great , said by our teachers . On the way home , Lydia told me that Miss Ang had appointed her to present the token of participation to the prinpal during the flag rising tommorow . To tell the truth , I was jealous . I wanted to be noticied too . Okay , not being sarcastic... but I AM really the Leader now , right at this moment ! She told Miss Ang that she do not want to dance anymore after this performance ....... But why ?! WHY ? I told Lydia about my feelings and thoughts when we were alone . She was not that happy since it was her last year in Yuhua , but , I am the Leader of Chinese Dance ! I cried ....... Lydia said maybe next year , when she is no longer in Yuhua , then I will get the chance to persent the token .... Hey ! Wait till we were being invited first ! You think this performances is like the " Singapore Youth Festival " ? Even if it is , still it is two years once ..... We parted from each other to head home with her saying " You are really very what ...... I thought you would be glad for me but ..... "

Yeah ! Bless God ! Mum went out leaving me and my Dear Bother at home ! Went to a nearby Hawker Centre to eat my favourite dish - Chicken Rice . I was surprised to see two of my classmate eatting at the same Eatting Outlet ! They reached the outle after my Brother and I . It's fine with me . Those two ladies were fine , outgoing and friendly . They even waved to me while eatting and when I left . I went for my Chinese Tution half an hour late because I shopped too much ! Got to buy some maths stuff , graph paper and curve ruler , all because Mr Goh needs it ! Actually only planned to buy a curve ruler and graph paper beacuse Mr Goh claimed that he wanted to have a " Curve Ruler Check " on Monday . The tution went well , nothing REALLY bad happened expect that the Sophia called both my Brother and Mum all because I am not going tommow ! Nothing bad , Mum just explained to her ...... After the Tuition , which ended early , instead of 6 pm , it ended at 4 pm plus , I went to the C.K Department to shop again ! Mum was still not at home during Dinner time . So , Brother and I went backe to the same Hawker Centre and ate a plate of Lamb Chop which we sharred together . At night , Brother went online . He asked Brother something releating to what I messaged him on 11/08/2004 . ( Refer to the dated post . ) The convasition soon " ended " , but instead of letting it end , he asked my Brother " How's School . " Both guys complained to each other about their education , and He " dated " my Brohter to have some time studying together . My Brother argeed at once ! God Blessed My Day ! Or is it behind every happiness , there's sadness and vice versa ?

To Mother ...... Whenever I am feeling down , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be the sunshin for me . Whenever I am ill , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be there to take care of me . Whenever I am being bully , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother wull be standing beside me . Wheneven I fell , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be there picking me up . Whenever I met with problems , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be there clearing the way for me . Whenever I have done something wrong , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be there forgiving me . Whenever I am hungry , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be there preparing my favourite dishes . Whenever I am injured , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will be there dressing my wounds . Whenever I am scard , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother will br there comforthing me . Whenever I am delighted , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother's the reason I am happy . Whenever I think of Mother , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother's act of love is uncountable . Whenever I think of Mother , I always know , deep down in my heart , Mother's love is forever . By : MJ . 2004 .

I was caught without my School Badge ! I actually do have one with me , but I lended it to other people , not knowing that I do not have any extras . The person kept on asking me if I do have any extra for myself .... I claimed I have . Since I had lended my Badge to other , it is not nice to get it back . Worst still ! Early in the morning , Form Teachers were asked to do a School Attire Sport Check ! So , I was caught .... and since I do not have any School Badge with me , Mr Goh asked me to stand up ! By the way , Mr Goh wore glasses , and so , his vision was much clearer to see if I have my School Badge on . Hey ! It's in the parade ground and I was the only one standing ! It was so embrassing ! But luckly , I was asked to sit down after being forced to agree to buy one School Badge during recess . Fine ... Before Recess , I have Physics lesson ... I do not fell that well .... I felt something bad is going to happen . I looked for my wallet during recess . But I could not find it ! I then recalled that I have not tranfered my wallet from my another bag which I used yesterday ! Haiz , looked for Mr Goh and told him that I do not have any money to buy a small cursed School Badge . And he putted me down for Detention ! I argued . Saying that I have CCA . He said Detention Class is only from 2 pm to 3 pm . I do not give up ! I told him I have CCA duites before my CCA . And he gave up ! Letting me do my Detention on Friday . So , my six sense was right after all ...... Haiz .... I felt quite Stupid , Silly ...... Why do I lend my School Badge to my friends when I only get Detention Class ? Haiz , anything would do ! Was assignend some group work durning English and Ace ...... Needless to say , it went well for I went mute throughout the disscusion . For the first time ! I finally spoke up durning English ! Yar ..... there's only 4 people in the group - Me , Ai Hui , Meiqi and Hui Min . I do not care all about it . What's the big deal ? I messaged him when I was all alone in my room , on my bed , with lights off ..... , when I should be sleeping , asking him something but instead of replying me ...... Out of the sudden I felt some vibration from my Handphone ..... It must be HIM ! He called my Handphone ! Wait .... do feel happy for me first ..... For you would be pitting me when I filled you in about our short , heart - brokening convastion . I answered " Hello ? " He : Hi . Um .. Who is that ? MJ : HUH ? ( I was dumb - strucked ! I can hear the sound of my own heart breaking ....... I was taken aback my his sudden present ..... Or I was too delight to hear his voice ? ) He : Whose's that who messaged me ? I am ***** ..... MJ : Oh ! Um ..... I am Mu Jie . There was a short part of our Phone Convasition . He actually do not know my Handphone number ? Hey ! We used to messaged each other almost every night ! And now ( somethings happened and so we stopped messaging ) he dare to ask me who am I ! * Look out for another " Romance " on 14/08/2004 !

There was Teacher's Day practice . Decided to have it from 10 am to 12 om . But that EXTRA Lydia said it would be from 10 am to 1.30 pm ! It's so what ! What is this ? I actually asked my Brother to wait for me at 12 pm ! I do not care about the practice ! I was not really in the mood to dance . When my Dear Brother called my handphone at 12 plus , saying that he was waiting outside my School Bus Stop , rescusing me from the Dance . I told Lydia that something happened at home but never state what took place even thougt she asked . Who is she ? How is my Brother related to him ? Why dose she needs to knows the whole story ? It is not of her concern nor bussiness ! In my eyes , she is not any Leader ! I AM THE RIGHTFUL LEADER OF YUHUA SECONDARY SCHOOL CHINESE DANCE GROUP ! She could get wash her hands off for all I care ! I went to eat with my Dear Brother , and was told that he was meeting with Jerermy ! Jerermy .......... If you know the story , that's good . But if you do not know , then it's alright for HE knows all about it and I felt I could not be blessed anymore ! Rushed ( in order to avoid some people ) to Jurong East in order to meet up with that Lydia to buy some gels for our coming performace this Sunday . I do not want to go ! Well , if she thinks / feels that she is the Leader , then go and buy herself ! My attendence and present is not needed ! Went back to Jurong West's OCBC and met Mum and Brother there . Brother was applying for some Cards .... Came online at night and chatted with Shi Zhen and Jeff . Got mixed up with my Brother's friend ....... Yes , I am that blur ..... And yes ! I chatted with him for a while ..... Trying to forget .....

Had planned to meet Yi Sin in the 7 - 11 at 12 pm . Then we both go to the Church and have Bible Study with Viven , our cell group leader . When the time was up ( Went for that Sophia's tuition ) , that Sophia gave me and Yuxuan a GCE O level paper to do ! Hello ! We are only Secondary Three ! The papers are for Secondary Four ! I have a " date " arranged with my Sisters ! I am in no mood to do the paper . I anyhow do it . I called Yisin and Vivien . After explaning to both of them , I rushed down to the Church . Met them and went for Service . I went with Yisin for fellowship after the service , with our Cell Groups . We left eariler then them , saying we got to go home . Cannot go home that late . While waitting for the bus , there was a sudden change of destination . Instead of Home , we decided to go to Jurong Point . We went window shopping and had a photo taken , printed on a card . It was a very fun and excting day for me , expect the morning .

Should I laugh because ... Should I cry because .... Should I laugh because our path crossed ? Should I cry because we are not meant to be together ? Should I laugh because you said I am interesting ? Should I cry because you said I am very negative ? Should I laugh because you have been nice to me ? Should I cry because your actions made me fell for you ? Should I laugh because you known my feeling ? Should I cry because of your reactions ? Should I laugh because you are not the first one to hurt me ? Should I cry because you had left another wound ? Should I laugh because of what you siad ? Should I cry because you are not lying to me ? Should I laugh because you still care about me ? Should I cry because I am avoiding you ? Should I laugh because you know too much about me ? Should I cry because I kept a low profile ? Should I laugh because you are qutie close to me ? Should I cry because I am anit-social ? Should I laugh because we know each other for some time ? Should I cry because I still do not know your full name ? Should I laugh because I had started another chapter of my life ? Should I cry because you had ended another chapter of my life ? By : MJ . 2004 .

First time brought my Handphone to School on a School Day ! My school celebrated National's Day by giving us a half day . So I thought there would not be any problem . There were perfomances throughout the day . As usual - there's the Concert Band and the Cultural Groups . The Malay and Indian Dances did a wonderful job . But the Chinese Dances never go up to the satge ! All because we were going to performace on next Sunday at the Raffles . I am not looking forward to it ! Okay . Yes , I am the Chinese Dance leader ... But I am not the main lead . It falls on my Church - Going - Sunday ! How ? And I just found out that my church is celebrating it's 15th anniversary on that day too ! If I go for my Chinese Dance performace , I would not get to " see him " ....... Headache ! I am quite buzy nowadays ... And I really got to give a miss to next week servise as on Saturday ( another time slot other then Sunday ) I got that Chinese Tuition ! I do not know what to do ...... Do not really feel like dancing that dance .... Come on ! We put up the dance during this year Speech Day , so why can't we learn a new dance ? I mean .... that dance is nice ... normal . But we got to lean new dances also ! Speech day was in March ... there was more then enough time for us to learn a new dance ... If the other Cultural Dance could do it , then why Chinese Dance could not ? I am not angry for the fact that I agree that my bones are not as soft as our main lead . But we could learn a new dance - without main lead ! And guess what - When asked , our instuator said that our bones are not soft enough to do stunts and so we could not learn a new dance . What is this ? If it is really true , then why we got Silver Award during last year Singapore Youth Festival ... With me being the main lead ! It's all excuess ! Anyway , after the National day's performances , I went to the folyer to do my detention . It is not any detention which I had . I just sat there talking to my junors ( I called for a practise after school for the Teacher's day . ) We were in a very deep conversation , discussing what we should do ... until Mr Goh reminded me that I was serving detention . Haiz ! Sat in to folyer to mark some quiz , with my classmates , which we done the day before . Never managed to mark mine ( another pityful thing ) . My classmates left me with Mr Goh after they marked finished the quiz . I just sat there and read my storybook ... while Mr Goh use my pencil and make some markings on the quiz . I was allowed to go as soon as other teachers of my school came out from the Teacher Office and invited him to go for lunch ... or is it breadfast since it is only 10 plus ? Went to the Dance Room to practise for Teacher's Day . Got to say ... it's such a waste of my presious time ! That Imelda ( who was the main lead thoughout next Sunday performaces ) was there dancing all by herself . The music was fast , I know that she got to dance to the tune . But hey ! WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS ? She was there dancing and dancing and dancing . With us struggling beside her with the moves . The least she could do was to educate us with the movements instead of dancing all by herself . Went out of the School myself while Lydia went to the Office to do somethings . I never go with her cause I was my School Principal . My School uniform was tucked out ! I was practising dance steps a few monent ago , even thougth I did not tuck out , the shirt would come out eventually ! Out of the school , I use my handphone to contect my Brother , cause our cousion asked us out for dinner . Her treat ! I was chatting on my Handphone and I caught sight of a gang of people walking towards my direction . I do not care . Never really have a good look at those people , but my sub - conscious told me to have a good look at them , plus it sended a message to my brain that someone there was very familar ...... I never heed it's warning ! I turned my back to face them and I looked towards my School Gate direction , waiting for Lydia . I hanged up soon and started messageing . Got to message my Brother some details which was stored in my Handphone . Suddenly ....... " Mu Jie , want me to catch you ? " It was said in madrain and it sounded very familar .... It was ........ MR GOH ! I quickly hide my Handphone behind my back . There were so may teachers ! I am in dead trouble ! To make matter worst , standing right in front of me is my very own from teacher who was in the Discipline Committee ! Oh , so , my sub - conscious mind was right and I should have listen to it ! " Tuck in you shirt " He ordered . Firstly , he had already caught me , why still ask if I want to be caught by him ? Secondly , I was out of the School .... by centi - meters so why do I still need to obey the School rules ? I tried to fold my cursed School Unifrom into the same length of my School Skirt Waistband . Foolish , Silly , Stupid , Dumb .... Discipline Teacher was just in front , looking at me . Of couse he know that students do this trick ! Was forced to go back to School to tuck in my shirt . But somehow , I managed to tuck it in on my way , before reaching the folyer . Folyer ...... there was where I served Detention , with Mr Goh . And now , I bumped into him again ! ARGH ! On the way , he asked me , " You brought your Handphone to School ? " " Huh .... yup ....... " It could be seen right ? Still need to ask ! I am such a PRO ! First time brought my Handphone to School during school day and got caught ! Went to eat with Lydia , then came back home . After a while , I left home again and went to Somerset to meet Brother and Cousion . My cousion treated us a meal in the Coffee Club . The food were very nice !

Was supposed to hand in the A Math Assignment , but I negotiated with Mr Goh during recess and he extended his deadline for my piece of work at once ! It was not the first time he extending his assigment deadline for me ! Haiz , I suppose that's what you get when you are hopeless in Math . I did not / could not go and get the key to the dance room and the radio after School as I have things on , so I ordered one or two of my juniors to go and get those items . That's what a real Leader is ! But after my lessons which ended at 2 pm or so , I heard from my juniors , while I was eatting lunch in the centeen , that there were ghost in the Dance Room . Funny ! I do not believe them ! They said they heard the radio being on and off . Even though the metal gate was locked ! I tried to tell them that there were people inside , but they refused to accept the fact ! Fine ..... I went up with them ...... Banged on the metal gate as hard as I could and finally , those Secondary Two juniors opened the door . I scolded one of the planksteer , whom I assigned to get the key and radio . And she cried ! Argh ! But I comforted her later during practice , and eveything went alright after that .

It's such a terrible day ! Firstly , I was given detenition class by Mr Goh all because I did not do those work he assigned ! I argued with him . Asking him to let me do his Detention class on Friday instead . He allowed and end of story . I do not know where to go after school . Mr Khor have Physics lessons with the class . Mr Goh have Math lessons with some students , and I was asked to attend too . All because I have a marvous understanding of that Subject ! Math overuled Physics in this case since I know preety well that I would be sound alseep during Physics as usual . I was given a leture by Mr Khor . No one would be glad after all those events which took place . First Detention Class followed by a leture . But I thougt that Chinese Dance practices would cheer me up ..... Such a wishful thinking ! After the Math , I went to for Chinese Dance . I had called my juniors who are interested in putting up a dance item for the coming Teacher's Day to stay back for practise . We were putting up a dance all by oursleves ! And well , that EXTRA Lydia came too . Who dose she think she is ? She said she got O levels and do not want to take part . She wants to study , revise . So , she came in the name of " Leader " ar ? Hello ! Please wake up from your dreams , my " friend " ! I wonder what " Leader " duties had she done ? Who had been rushing to the staff room everytime before and after Chinese Dance practise to return the key and radio ? Me ! And I wonders who had been refusing all the time when asked to accompany me ? So , why is she present ? The answer is very simple : To make my day worst ! I had told her that I am not feeling very well since I was having my menses , and would not be dancing . I respected her , looking at her as a " Leader " and thus , I told her ! ( Read on to see what she have done ! ) Nevetheless , I did dance a little in the first half of the practice . But I gave up when we have a short break . I was too tired to carry on . I was not feeling well due to menstrual pain . I just sat on the chair by the radio and played the song , ordering my juniors to dance . Lydia stopped the music and told me to dance in a rude and loud voice . I muttered , I refused to . She screamed at the top of her vioce . She was not satisfied . With tears forming in my eyes , I told her in a soft voice to stop it and let the others dance . But she did not let me go ! She even accused me of using tears to win her sympathy ! It's too much for me to handle ! I ran out of the dance room ...... crying all the way ! Two , three of my juniors ran with me and tried in vain to console me . I wanted to go to the garden immediately but the road was blocked by Mr Goh and Kevin so I took the longer path . It did not matter how much the distance was as long as I could get to my destination . When I finally reached there , I cried desperately . ( Praying hard at the same time that no one hears me ! ) Who is she ? Am I that blind ? The friendship we share over the past two years were nothing ....... All those countless scerets we shared had been told to other friends as well ....... She is not my parents , who do not even have control over me . I do not need her consent for anything I do ! I choose what I want to do ! What type of Leader is she ? SHE'S NOT FIT TO BE ONE ! I AM THE RIGHTFUL LEADER ! So , the meaning of friends is : They are some kind of human beings who's duty On Earth is to mess up your day / life and not to lighten your worries / stress !

There's another cold war between Ai Hui and I . I just wish to put up a cross talk for Teacher's Day , and Ai Hui was to come up with the script . But she kept on saying she does not have any idea on what to write . Yar , right ! Even if she does have any tiny winky bit of idea , it would be gone by judgeing by her attitude ! What's wrong with putting up a small performances by us during the Teacher's Day ? Plus our Chinese Teacher had gave us some tips on what to write ! Is writting a simple script that tought ? She told me that if there is another chance , she would like to come up another script , which contains chinese idoms .... etc ..... But look at her attitude now ! Not that I do not want to help , but her chinese is so much better then mine . No need to count Chinese , all her subjects are better then me ... It's common sence to let the better of the two to come up with a script , correct ? I went to the garden during recess .... closed to tears by that time . I sat by the garden .... it's funny , it's strange , but it's true ! When you could finally find a safe place to clam down and let your inter most feelings to come out from your heart the feeling would still be trapped in your body . Those tears just wouldn't come out from your eyes ! But luckly , I am blessed by God that he gave me two funny juniors from my CCA - Hui Min and Evoone from Secondary One . I ate with them after school as we had Chinese Dance Practise after that . Both angles from Heaven cheered me up ....

During PE , our teacher wanted us to use the Meditation ball to jump . Ai Hui and I tried to skipped one of the exercise , but our teacher saw that and we ended up doing the exercies all by ourselves . And the teacher said that I got mucles in my upper tights ! Funny ! How could it be , right ? The rest of the day dragged by and on my way to recess , I bumped into Mr Goh . This time round , it is good news ! He told me that I reached my target for my Math re - test ! ( Refer to the post on 31/07/04 ) I was all over the moon ! Rays of hope shined through me ! So , I am not that bad in Math , right ? During Math lesson , he returned me the paper ....... My mood changed 360 degrees ! I had only pass my target by 1 small mark ! 41 over 60 ........ My mood changed increasing when I looked throuhgt the paper . There were so many careless mistakes !

I decided to walk the long lane to the nearby 7-11 store to meet Yi Sin and my another tuition teacher after my Chinese Tuition . Yi Sin reached there eariler then me and accompanied me to wait for my tutor in order for me to hand in his homework . All my tutor are excellent right ? They all so interested in my homework and loves to delay my dismassial time ! Handed in the work and we ( Yi Sin and I ) went to our Church . It funny how fast people become friends .... Met only once and then we began to go to church together . After servise , we went home straight away . Yi Sin got some family gathering , while I just wish to go home . Do not really want to stay back without Yi Sin . I went to the C.K department store and brought some tibits for myself and not forgetting , my dear Brother .