Hm , that tutor came at 8.30 am ... crazy ... so early ! Mum came in and told that Tutor that I have to rush to go out . He still contuintued teaching 4 questions ! He even talked and talked and talked crap ! I rushed and met Alvin . I was quite late . We went to the bus stop ... without talking or saying anything ... It was so funny ... So strange .... We got nothing to talk about anyway . I went for Cell Group ..... and received the spirtal diray ... There were a box for us to pray for those who are having exams ... I had a looked ... that's the first thing my eye fell onto . There wasn't my name ! Instead , there were Angelina and her brother's name . They were new comer .... don't tell me that I can't even hold a candle to a new comer ?! WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE IS HURTING ME , MAKING ME FEEL EMOTIONAL ? IS IT A MUST TO GO AROUND AND TELL EVERYONE THAT I'VE FEELINGS TOO ! TERRIBLE , HORRIBLE ! Futhermore , why arn't Angelina sepreated from her 2 other silbings ?! They always seprate me and Yi Sin , me and Brother . Yi Sin and I ..... We don't have any blood relationship and they are already seprating us , how about Angelina and her silnings ? Surely there would be the same blood flowing in their viens . Why are they together ?! Cool down ... anyway ... 1 more week , just bear with it ... they won't even know about it .... they won't even care . All their actions had proved me correct ... Why should I care ?! Why should I feel sad about leaving them when they treated me this way ?! So ... why had I travlled all the way from home to attend Cell Group ?! So that I can spent more time with them before I go .... before I leave them ?! Stupid ! All these emotions going around my mind ... Haiz ! I can't make up my mind ... I don't know how am I feeling ... Haiz ... Okay ... I boarded the bus with Diana , Alvin , Ferlinda and her Cousin . The bus stopped suddenly and I accidently step onto Alivn's toe ! Argh ... it was so embrassing .... He spoted a seat and asked me to seat . I did ... I went with Diana to the Redhill library . She treated me a packed of drink . I went home and Mum cooked for me instant noodles . I messaged him and he did reply ....... But he sounded angry or something .... I'm sorry .... I , me and myself ....

Hm , that tutor came at 8.30 am ... crazy ... so early ! Mum came in and told that Tutor that I have to rush to go out . He still contuintued teaching 4 questions ! He even talked and talked and talked crap ! I rushed and met Alvin . I was quite late . We went to the bus stop ... without talking or saying anything ... It was so funny ... So strange .... We got nothing to talk about anyway . I went for Cell Group ..... and received the spirtal diray ... There were a box for us to pray for those who are having exams ... I had a looked ... that's the first thing my eye fell onto . There wasn't my name ! Instead , there were Angelina and her brother's name . There were new comer .... don't tell me that I can't even hold a candle to a new comer ?! WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE IS HURTING ME , MAKING ME FEEL EMOTIONAL ? IS IT A MUST TO GO AROUND AND TELL EVERYONE THAT I'VE FEELINGS TOO ! TERRIBLE , HORRIBLE ! Futhermore , why arn't Angelina sepreated from her 2 other silbings ?! They always seprate me and Yi Sin , me and Brother . We don't have any blood relationship and they are already seprating us , how about Angelina and her silnings ? Surly there would be the same bloob flowing in their viens . Why are they together ?! Cool down ... anyway ... 1 more week , just bear with it ... they won't even know about it .... they won't even care . All their actions had proved me corrct ... Why should I care ?! WHy sould I feel sad about leaving them when they treated me this way ?! So ... why had I travlled all the way from home to attend Cell Group ?! So that I can spent more time with them before I go .... Stupid ! All these emotions going around my mind ... Haiz ! I can't make up my mind ... I don't know how am I feeling ... Haiz ... Okay ... I boarded that bus with Diana , Alvin , Ferlinda and her Cousin . The bus stopped suddenly and I accidently step onto Alivn's toe ! Argh ... it was so embrassing .... He spoted a seat and asked me to seat . I did ... I went with Diana to the Redhill library . She treated me a packed of drink . I went home and Mum cooked for me instant noodles . I messaged him and he did reply ....... But he sounded angry or something .... I'm sorry .... I , me and myself ....

I don't know ... it seemed very strange . There's a guy from my School whom I kept on looking out for . I kept on looking at that guy ... And when I saw him walking past me when I was on my way to School , my heart skippd a beat ..... Opps ... don't tell me that I've changed target .... Haha .. Only about 20 plus pupils were present , and 4 of them would be off for Harmonica Band Singapore Youth Festival . 4 periods with Ms Ong . Hm .. but then , as what Mr Goh told me , I still believe that Ms Ong would still be Ms Ong . She kept on calling me to do things , like give out worksheets , take things . There was Dental too . A few people were called , but they were not around . Ended up , I got to go for dental too since the attendence was so low . I went , and recorded my reg . no . But it turned out that I don't need to go as my Mum had signed " do not allow " . School was ... relaxing There was ... that's what I like about it . It was just like ... last year ... that time ... Yuhua Secondary School Open House .... I went home and came online . Li Xin came and chatted with me . I founded out that ... what is the meaning of friends ... I realized what problems would arise when one is anti social . I don't know .... But I simply hate friends who don't speak up for you ! You know whom I am refering to .... it's Ai Hui . She knew a little about me and Ms Ong . But WHY ?! Why did she not speak up for me when people suspected me of being Ms Ong's spy ?! YOU CALL THAT FRIEND ?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLED FRIEND ?! Letting people speak bad about your friends and never say a word ! I don't know ... to think that I always used to think that she's matured , and know what's right from wrong ... I though she would know when to come to my aid when I need it ..... it seems that I am living in my own world again ....... What's so new ... about her this type of " leaving friend when in need " attitude ?! I've got feelings too okay ! I'm am a human afterall , a girl afterall ... just that I don't show it , it does not mean that i have none ! Others may not know me well enough , may not understand me as much as you do . SO , WHY DID YOU NOT SPEAK UP FOR ME ! I went to sleep after that and at 6.30 pm , the Tutor came knocking on the door . Mum told me not to answer it and to wait for his call . I went to plug the phone cord and went to have dinner . It's the second time I'm doing such thing . Mum called the tutor , acting as if she's ..... I don't know how to say ... To her , she felt that it's so funny ... to me ... it's heavenly !

I don't know ... it seemed very strange . There's a guy from my School whom I kept on looking out for . I kept on looking for that guy ... Opps ... don't tell me that I've changed target .... Haha .. Only about 20 plus pupils were present , and 4 of them would be off for Harmonica Band Singapore Youth Festival . 4 periods with Ms Ong . Hm .. but then , as what Mr Goh told me , I still believe that Ms Ong would still be Ms Ong . She kept on calling me to do things , like give out worksheets , take things . Tere was Dental too . A few people were called , but they were not around . Ended up , I got to go too . I went , and recorded my reg . no . But it turned out that I don't need to go as my Mum had signed " do not allow " . School was ... relaxing ... that's what I like about it . It was just like ... last year ... that time ... Yuhua Secondary School Open House .... I went hoem and came online . Li Xin came and chatted with me . I founded out that ... what is the meaning of friends ... I realized what problems would arise when one is anti social . I don't know .... But I simply hate friends who don't speak up for you ! You know whom I am refering to .... it's AI hUi . She knew a little about me and Ms Ong . But WHY ?! Why did she not speak up for me when people suspected me of being Ms Ong's spy ?! YOU CALL THAT FRIEND ?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLED FRIEND ?! Letting people speak bad about your friends and never say a word ! I don't know ... to think that I always used to think that she's matured , and know what's right from wrong ... I though she would know when to come to my aid when I need it ..... it seems that I am living in my own world again ....... What's so new ... about her this type of " leaving friend when in need " attitude ?! I've got feelings too okay ! Others may not know me well enough , may not understand me as much as you do . SO , WHY DID YOU NOT SPEAK UP FOR ME ! I'm am a human afterall , a girl afterall ... just that I don't show it , it does not mean that i have none ! I went to sleep after that and at 6.30 pm , the Tutor came knocking on the door . Mum told me not to answer it and to wait for his call . I went to plug the phone cord and went to have dinner . It's the second time I'm doing such thing . Mum called the tutor , acting as if she's ..... I don't know how to say ... To her , she felt that it's so funny ... for me ... it's heavenly !

I don't know ... it seemed very strange . There's a guy from my School whom I kept on looking out for . I kept on looking for that guy ... Opps ... don't tell me that I've changed target .... Haha .. Only about 20 plus pupils were present , and 4 of them would be off for Harmonica Band Singapore Youth Festival . 4 periods with Ms Ong . Hm .. but then , as what Mr Goh told me , I still believe that Ms Ong would still be Ms Ong . She kept on calling me to do things , like give out worksheets , take things . Tere was Dental too . A few people were called , but they were not around . Ended up , I got to go too . I went , and recorded my reg . no . But it turned out that I don't need to go as my Mum had signed " do not allow " . School was ... relaxing ... that's what I like about it . It was just like ... last year ... that time ... Yuhua Secondary School Open House .... I went hoem and came online . Li Xin came and chatted with me . I founded out that ... what is the meaning of friends ... I realized what problems would arise when one is anti social . I don't know .... But I simply hate friends who don't speak up for you ! You know whom I am refering to .... it's AI hUi . She knew a little about me and Ms Ong . But WHY ?! Why did she not speak up for me when people suspected me of being Ms Ong's spy ?! YOU CALL THAT FRIEND ?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLED FRIEND ?! Letting people speak bad about your friends and never say a word ! I don't know ... to think that I always used to think that she's matured , and know what's right from wrong ... I though she would know when to come to my aid when I need it ..... it seems that I am living in my own world again ....... What's so new ... about her this type of " leaving friend when in need " attitude ?! I've got feelings too okay ! Others may not know me well enough , may not understand me as much as you do . SO , WHY DID YOU NOT SPEAK UP FOR ME ! I'm am a human afterall , a girl afterall ... just that I don't show it , it does not mean that i have none ! I went to sleep after that and at 6.30 pm , the Tutor came knocking on the door . Mum told me not to answer it and to wait for his call . I went to plug the phone cord and went to have dinner . It's the second time I'm doing such thing . Mum called the tutor , acting as if she's ..... I don't know how to say ... To her , she felt that it's so funny ... for me ... it's heavenly !

Oh my God ... If only I am that lucky ... Okay . I got to sit beside Mr Koh once again . This time round , I did my own Maths . The others were doing the Amath paper . On my way out from Physics Lesson , Mr Khor told me , " Mu Jie , you understand or not ? You must revise . If you don't understand , you must look for me , don't just sit there . " I heard something about my classmates . They would be playing turant tomorrow as there would be 2 hours of Ms Ong's lesson . Why must the picture gets so ugly ? I went all the way to CK depatment store and helped Brother to buy something . I brought my lunch too . There was Kai Xin's tuition at night . We spent about 45 minutes talking . I told her about my that Tutor .... Exams are coming , got to have more tuition ... no , must push my tution forward . And so , Kai Xin wanted to come on 8th May 2005 ... I told her that maybe that Tutor , which I hated , would want to come . She can sense that I'm lying , she felt it . She nudged my arm and asked me about it . I said nothing . She even thought that I would only miss one service only . She thought that I would be back after exams .... It's more then that ........ I heard Kai Xin talking to Mum about changing my tutor . I menddled with Brother's Handphone and realized that He had contected Brother yesterday night at 10 pm plus ! And Brother never tell me about it ! Argh !

Oh my God ... If only I am that lucky ... Okay . I got to sit beside Mr Koh once again . This time round , I did my own Maths . The others were doing the Amath paper . On my way out from Physics Lesson , Mr Khor told me , " Mu Jie , you understand or not ? You must revise . If you don't understand , you must look for me , don't just sit there . " I heard something about my classmates . They would be playing turant tomorrow as there would be 2 hours of Ms Ong's lesson . Why must the piture gets so ugly ? I went all the way to CK depatment store and helped Brother to buy something . I brought my lunch too . There was Kai Xin's tuition at night . We soent about 45 minutes talking . I told her about my that Tutor .... Exams are coming , got to have more tuition ... no , must push my tution forward . And so , Kai Xin wanted to come on 8th May 2005 ... I told her that maybe that Tutor , which I hated , would want to come . She can sense that I'm lying , she felt it . She nudged my arm and asked me about it . I said nothing . She even thought that I would only miss one service only . She thought that I would be back after exams .... It's more then that ........ I heard Kai Xin talking to Mum about changing my tutor . I menddled with Brother's Handphone and realized that He had contected Brother yesterday night at 10 pm plus ! And Brother never tell me about it ! Argh !

Oh well ... guess I really strike another lottery again .... Mr Koh asked me to sit beside him once again . But this time round it was Emath Paper 2 , cauculator allowed . Ms Ong came into the class today and asked why we sit together . She punished the whole class by standing . However , she had some assembly things to attend . We contuined standing ! Yes we did ..... I never hate Assembly so much before ... Never ... I don't wish to say what it was about , but I hated it totally , I never have such a feeling before ... It was so sensentive to me , so close to my heart , so personal to me , hidden so well inside me .... And yet , I was forced to put on a mask and acted as if I'm innocent and native , as if ......... I totally hated it .... Haiz ... I missed him so much .... He knew all about it , he'll know what to tell me to make me feel better ... He'll know what to do .... He's the same as me .... But then , haiz , I should have treasured the chance . When I shared it with him , how I wished that I had asked him about the present . How he felt , how he will fell , like for example , toay during Assembly . Would he be just like me , feel so uncomfortable ?! Or had he gotten it over by now ?! Is he able to cope with it ? Thankfully , Mei Qi sat with me , and I chatted with her instead of listening to the speaker ... But our topic was the same as what the speaker was talking about ... but , it sures helped to have someone to talk to , even thought it wasn't anything personal or what so ever , I don't feel that lonely . However , I hoped that I don't sound experienced .... One simply question ... why can't the past just die ?! I went to eat with Mei Qi and Ai Hui . Hm , it seemd that the talk of the whole week was about Ms Ong ... Everyone admited that we were in the wrong . We were so sorry , we had gone overboard .... Nevertheless , everyone knew that he / she must score well for Chemistry no matter . We changed the topic , Ai Hui said that her Chemistry is not good at all , and if she had to drop to Combine Science , she won't be able to accept it . I felt umcomfortable once again . Among the 3 girls , I am the only one who had dropped Pure Science ... Ai Hui have her family support , me ? If even she can't accept it , I wondered , then how could I ?! One thing I have to be thankful about .... My Brother and Mr Goh . No wonder I am so strong . Not aiming for just a pass like I used to , but aiming for an A1 ! The 3 of us went to the bookshop for awhile and we went home . At night , Brother told Mum that his Maths teacher wants to see her . Voices were raised , as expected . The loudest was Mum . Serotype thinking was that Brother had failed his Maths . Brother is always so patient , explaning to Mum that it would be alright , and it arn't the case of passing and failing . He did passed his Maths ... of couse . I personally don't believe it when I heard it from Brother's mouth . I always thought that I would always be outcast , the only child who always needs to ask her parents to see her Teachers . Mr Goh messaged me . He just sent one message and I replied him telling him everything .... Mr Goh invited me to visit him . He was the one who siad it first .... Ended up , everyone in my class would be able to visit him . I can't wait for that day !

Oh well ... guess I really stirkc another lothey again .... Mr Koh asked me to sit beside him once again . But this time round it was Emath Paper 2 , cauculator allowed . Ms Ong came into the class today and asked why we sit together . She punished the whole class by standing . However , she had some assembly things to attend . We contuined standing ! Yes we did ..... I never hate Assembly so much before ... Never ... I don't wish to say what it was about , but I hated it totally , I never have such a feeling before ... It was so sensentive to me , so close to my heart , so personal to me , hidden so well inside me .... And yet , I was forced to put on a mask and acted as if I'm innocent and native , as if ......... I totally hated it .... Haiz ... I missed him so much .... He knew all about it , he'll know what to tell me to make me feel better ... He'll know what to do .... He's the same as me .... But then , haiz , I should have treasured the chance . When I shared it with him , how I wished that I had asked him about the present . How he felt , how he will fell , like for example , toay during Assembly . Would he be just like me , feel so uncomfortable ?! Or had he gotten it over by now ?! Is he able to cope with it ? Thankfully , Mei Qi sat with me , and I chatted with her instead of listening to the speaker ... But our topic was the same as what the speaker was talking about ... but , it sures helped to have someone to talk to , even thought it wasn't anything personal or what so ever , I don't feel that lonely . However , I hoped that I don't sound experienced .... One simply question ... why can't the past just die ?! I went to eat with Mei Qi and Ai Hui . Hm , it seemd that the talk of the whole week was about Ms Ong ... Everyone admited that we were in the wrong . We were so sorry , we had gone overboard .... Nevertheless , everyone knew that he / she must score well for Chemistry no matter . We changed the topic , Ai Hui said that her Chemistry is not good at all , and if she had to drop to Combine Science , she won't be able to accept it . I felt umcomfortable once again . Among the 3 girls , I am the only one who had dropped Pure Science ... Ai Hui have her family support , me ? If even she can't accept it , I wondered , then how could I ?! One thing I have to be thankful about .... My Brother and Mr Goh . No wonder I am so strong . Not aiming for just a pass like I used to , but aiming for an A1 ! The 3 of us went to the bookshop for awhile and we went home . At night , Brother told Mum that his Maths teacher wants to see her . Voices were raised , as expected . The loudest was Mum . thinking was that Brother had failed his Maths . Brother is always so patient , explaining to Mum that it would be alright , and it arn't the case of passing and failing . He did passed his Maths ... of couse . I personally don't believe it when I heard it from Brother's mouth . I always thought that I would always be outcast , the only child who always needs to ask her parents to see her Teachers . Mr Goh messaged me . He just sent one message and I replied him telling him everything .... Mr Goh invited me to visit him . He was the one who said it first .... Ended up , everyone in my class would be able to visit him . I can't wait for that day !

Okay , I've stroke lottery ! Mr Koh asked me to sit beside him and do some Emath Paper .... It was Paper 1 , without cauculator ! I was there .... wondering .... what's 1+1 ? Hm ... lucky I remembered Mr Goh's method ... and well , even though I did get some scolding ( as usual ) , everything was alright . I skipped PE once again ... There was another set of Chemistry notes for the Combine Science Students . I was the one to give out the notes , turned out that there wasn't enough copies once again ..... A few of us went to look for Ms Ong for the notes , and she just said " Solve your own problems . " I got to skip lunch again for today . I don't feel like eatting and I don't have the time to eat . If I eat , I scared that my Dental would repremind me for not brushing my teeth clean enough . I was late for my Dental Appointment . Hm , now my Dental told me that one of my teeth was crooked , and so , I have to wait for another appointment in order to take out my braces .... I went Jurong East Popular and shopped around and brought some transparency flim to do glass deco . Mum was in Cousin Hui Ying's house , and I can't decide if I should eat KFC or just some normal food . I ended up buying some food from the small shop at the Jurong East Interchange .

Okay , I've stricked lottary ! Mr Koh asked me to sit beside him and do some Emath Paper .... It was Paper 1 , without cauculator ! I was there .... wondering .... what's 1+1 ? Hm ... lucky I remembered Mr Goh's method ... and well , even though I did get some scolding ( as usual ) , everything was alright . I skipped PE once again ... There was another set of Chemistry notes for the Combine Science Students . I was the one to give out the notes , turned out that there wasn't enough copies ocne again ..... A few of us went to look for Ms Ong for the notes , and she just said " Solve your own problems . " I got to skip lunch again for today . I don't feel like eatting and I don't have the time to eat . If I eat , I scared that my Dental would repremind me for not brushing my teeth clean enough . I was late for my Dental Appointment . Hm , now my Dental told me that one of my teeth was crooked , and so , I have to wait for another appointment in order to take out my braces .... I went Jurong East Popular and shopped around and brought some transparency flim to do glass deco . Mum was in Cousin Hui Ying's house , and I can't decide if I should eat KFC or just some normal food . I ended up buying some food from the small shop at the Jurong East Interchange .

Wow , Ms Ong was really angry with us this time round . She got fed up with us ... Today , she came into the classroom and dump the Greenbridge Secondary School Paper 1 onto the table and called 3 " A1 standard " pupils to do the work , and for the rest , we want to do or not was all up to us . I went home with Darrick , Jacky , Bao Quan , Mei Qi , Hui Min and Ai Hui . We left School together and they waited for me at my void deck while I went up to my house and put my bag . All of us went to Darrick's house . Hm , anyway , he's room is just the same as Brother's . Are all guys the same ?! I went down with Ai Hui and Jacly to buy glue and a bottle of Coke and we ( Me , Ai Hui , Hui Min and Mei Qi ) did our CME Project . We worked till 5 pm plus and we went home . I went home and realized that ... MUM HAD HELPED TO TO GET BACK MY HANDPHONE !!!!!!! Nevertheless , she left a note , reminding me not to bring my Phone to School again , and that Cousin Hui Ying would be giving birth soon , somewhere during this week . Mum had went to look after Cousin Hui Ying . I switched on my Handphone at once ... I got a shoked .... My Message Validity was " Minium time " ! That means that most of my Messages were all GONE ! Okay , Yi Sin messaged me on Sunday , and I received it . But my Phone was not around for a week ! A week worth of messages went missing ..... Argh ! I went down and met my Brother . We had Dinner together . As usual , I ate slower than Brother , and Brother played with my Phone while waiting for me . I messaged Ms Ong ... well , guess that she's really angry with us ... I tried to tell her that we really don't know how to do the work .. but alas ... she won't hear any of it .

Wow , Ms Ong was really angry with us this time round . She got fed up with us ... Today , she came into the classroom and dump the Greenbridge Secondary School Paper 1 onto the table and called 3 " A1 standard " pupils to do the work , and for the rest , we want to do or not was all up to us . I went home with Darrick , Jacky , Bao Quan , Mei Qi , Hui Min and Ai Hui . We left School together and they waited for me at my void deck while I went up to my house and put my bag . All of us went to Darrick's house . Hm , anyway , he's room is just the same as Brother's . Are all guys the same ?! I went down with Ai Hui and Jacly to buy glue and a bottle of Coke and we ( Me , Ai Hui , Hui Min and Mei Qi ) did our CME Project . We worked till 5 pm plus and we went home . I went home and realized that ... MUM HAD HELPED TO TO GET BACK MY HANDPHONE !!!!!!! Nevertheless , she left a note , reminding me not to bring my Phone to School again , and that Cousin Hui Ying would be giving birth soon , somewhere during this week . Mum had went to look after Cousin Hui Ying . I switched on my Handphone at once ... I got a shoked .... My Message Validity was " Minium time " ! That means that most of my Messages were all GONE ! Okay , Yi Sin messaged me on Sunday , and I received it . But my Phone was not around for a week ! A week worth of messages went missing ..... Argh ! I went down and met my Brother . We had Dinner together . As usual , I ate slower than Brother , and Brother played with my Phone while waiting for me . I messaged Ms Ong ... well , guess that she's really angry with us ... I tried to tell her that we really don't know how to do the work .. but alas ... she won't hear any of it .

Oh my ! I was late once again ! I woke up at 9.45 am and left home at 10.05 am . Had to wait for 20 minutes for the bus ! I went to play ball games with my Cell Group and we all ate at the cafe , after that , we went for Service . James came and asked me about Brother . He asked me where us Jurong West Ave 4 ? Guess Brother was around that area ... Nevertheless , Brother arrived safty with James . Brother stayed for Service and I was seated behind him . He was with N127 whereas I was with my Cell Group ... How I wish to be beside Brother ......... I caught Brother going inside the Artibus Bookstore and I went inside too ... Turned out that Brother was interest in buying a Bible .... I'm getting suspiciuos ..... I was chased out by both guys as I was not with my Cell Group ... I went out , but my Cell Group was nowhere to be found . Thus , I went inside again ... Kai Xin appeared when the 3 of us went out . She was looking for me ... Hm , so somebody had noticed my absent ?! Me , Brother , James and Kai XIn were at the bus stop ... I wanted to go with Brother ... he's going to Jurong Point with James . But Brother don't want me to tag along , futhermore , James and Kai Xin wanted me to join my own Cell Group ... I begged and nagged at Brother ... I told him that I don't want to go with my Cell Group as I have no friends there ... Yi Sin was not around too . He ended up giving me $50.00 for Dinner . I don't have any money with me either . Gettign the $50.00 , I wanted Brother's Hanphone too . He refused ... Stupid ! I don't have any Handphone with me ... It was so troublsom . Liek this morning , I was late , they would have contected me , or vese vires ! All of us went to Jruong Point after having our Dinner . I reached and found Brohter , reading the word power ... I was stunned ... Is he going to be a real christain , a God believer ? He can be fruitful and munitply , add on to the Kindom of God . But Brother , bear in mind ... from 8th May 2005 onwards .... They surely would ask you about me . Maybe pressurize you a little . I don't want to be burden to you . I wish that ...you won't have ill feelings towards them because of me ...

Oh my ! I was late once again ! I woke up at 9.45 am and left home at 10.05 am . Had to wait for 20 minutes for the bus ! I went to play ball games with my Cell Group and we all ate at the cafe , after that , we went for Service . James came and asked me about Brother . He asked me where us Jurong West Ave 4 ? Guess Brother was around that area ... Nevertheless , Brother arrived safety with James . Brother stayed for Service and I was seated behind him . He was with N127 whereas I was with my Cell Group ... How I wish to be beside Brother ......... I caught Brother going inside the Artibus Bookstore and I went inside too ... Turned out that Brother was interest in buying a Bible .... I'm getting suspicious ..... I was chased out by both guys , James and Brother , as I was not with my Cell Group ... I went out , but my Cell Group was nowhere to be found . Thus , I went inside again ... Kai Xin appeared when the 3 of us went out . She was looking for me ... Hm , so somebody had noticed my absent ?! Me , Brother , James and Kai Xin were at the bus stop ... I wanted to go with Brother ... he's going to Jurong Point with James . But Brother don't want me to tag along , futhermore , James and Kai Xin wanted me to join my own Cell Group ... I begged and nagged at Brother ... I told him that I don't want to go with my Cell Group as I have no friends there ... Yi Sin was not around too . He ended up giving me $50.00 for Dinner . I don't have any money with me either . Getting the $50.00 , I wanted Brother's Hanphone too . He refused ... Stupid ! I don't have any Handphone with me ... It was so troublesome . Like this morning , I was late , they would have contected me , or the other way round ! All of us went to Jruong Point after having our dinner . I reached and found Brohter , reading the word power ... I was stunned ... Is he going to be a real christain , a God believer ? He can be fruitful and multiply, add on to the Kingdom of God . But Brother , bear in mind ... from 8th May 2005 onwards .... They surely would ask you about me . Maybe pressurize you a little . I don't want to be burden to you . I wish that ...you won't have ill feelings towards them because of me ...

Tutor said that I was very weak , tution once a week is not enough ... must have it 2 times per week ! He actually wanted it to be on Sunday , I told him that I needs to go Church , he commented, " Go Church ... Go ... Go Church ... Yar ... Go .... Go ... " He did come today ... I almost cried while doing the questions ... I really don't know how to do and yet , he was there like ... " Speak up ! Not saying anything again ... " I went to Jurong East and brought an Emath O level and Prelim book ... I found the Combine Science Textbooks , but then I never buy it . Well , as you can guess .... it's the tutor who wants it ... why should I buy !? I don't need it ! If I need any information , I can easly browse through by Pure Science Textbooks , well , don't ever try to tell me that there won't be enough informations inside ! I ran a few errends for Mum ... I bumped into a lady ... she came and asked me for $2 ... I told her that I don't have ... then she wants $1 .. then $0.50 .... she said that she was expecting , but just had a fight with her husband .... I went home and did some Chinese . I was outside in the living room , looking for the Chinese Dictionary when someone called Brother's Handphone . Brother passed it to me and said , " It's ________ " I answered , he seemed surprised to hear my voice .... I should have used to old trick Brother taught me " Hi .. " " Um , is Jun Zhan in ? " " Yes , he is ... but he's in the restroom . " I should used those lines ... so that I can have the chance to talk to him ... to flirt ! Hehe ... I really do wants to talk to him ... I want to tell him to real truth .... Brother was chatting with Him when my home phone rang . I answered and it was Brother Shi How , he used to be my tutor , and he called to ask if I still needs his help . " Who is teaching you now ? " " Um ... my ch... my friend . " "You go Church ar ? Which one ? " " Um ... City Harvest Chruch . " " Oh ... a lot of youngest , you like it better there is it ? " Yes ! If can , I would like to change tutor to Brother Shi How ! And now ... I then realized how good Sister Kai Xin tutor is .... And my Handphone ! Brother Shi How claimed that he message me ... Hm .. I seems to be talking everyting for granted ... Sometimes , we don't realized how preious someone or something is to us till we lost it ...

Tutor said that I was very weak , tution once a week is not enough ... must have it 2 times per week ! He actually wanted it to be on Sunday , I told him that I needs to go Church , he commented, " Go Church ... Go ... Go Church ... Yar ... Go .... Go ... " He did come today ... I almost cried while doing the questions ... I really don't know how to do and yet , he was there like ... " Speak up ! Not saying anything again ... " I went to Jurong East and brought an Emath O level and Prelim book ... I found the Combine Science Textbooks , but then I never buy it . Well , as you can guess .... it's the tutor who wants it ... why should I buy !? I don't need it ! If I need any information , I can easly browse through my Pure Science Textbooks , well , don't ever try to tell me that there won't be enough informations inside ! I ran a few errends for Mum ... I bumped into a lady ... she came and asked me for $2 ... I told her that I don't have ... then she wants $1 .. then $0.50 .... she said that she was expecting , but ha just had a fight with her husband .... I went home and did some Chinese . I was outside in the living room , looking for the Chinese Ditionary when someone called Brother's Handphone . Brother passed it to me and said , " It's ________ " I answered , he seemed surprised to hear my voice .... I should have used to old trick Brother taught me " Hi .. " " Um , is Jun Zhan in ? " " Yes , he is ... but he's in the restroom . " I should used those lines ... so that I can have the chance to talk to him ... to flirt ! Hehe ... I really do wants to talk to him ... I want to tell him to real truth .... Brother was chatting with Him when my home phone rang . I answered and it was Brother Shi How , he used to be my tutor , and he called to ask if I still needs his help . " Who is teaching you now ? " " Um ... my ch... my friend . " "You go Church ar ? Which one ? " " Um ... City Harvest Chruch . " " Oh ... a lot of youngest , you like it better there is it ? " Yes ! If can , I would like to change tutor to Brother Shi How ! And now ... I then realized how good Sister Kai Xin tutor is .... And my Handphone ! Brother Shi How claimed that he message me ... Hm .. I seems to be taking everyting for granted ... Sometimes , we don't realized how preious someone or something is to us till we lost it ... Libra September 23 - October 22 Hey ! Where'd your head go ? My goodness , it's floating off into the sky because of a certain something a certain cutie just said to you . Some people get all the luck ! Haha .. I'm all over the moon now ! No doubt ... I've got all the luck !

Ms Ong was not around today , futhermore , there was 2 hours of her period . We were given some Geography MCQ questions to do . Ai Hui , Mei Qi , Hui Min and I did some CME after completing the Geography work . Mr Koh gave some Amaths work for the class too , ended up , all of them did the Amath work and we never do any CME project . Ai Hui sat with me and we both did our work . Lessons were as boring as usual .... We stayed in the classroom after normal class and I did my Chemistry Work . I went for Chinese Oral after that .... Mei Qi and Ai Hui was very kind ... One pupil finished the Oral , they let me be the next pupil to be tested ....... I don't even know what was I talking about .... I flunked the conversation part too ... " 3 girls got caught for stealing things , what is your view ? " " It's the parent's fault . The girls wants to get their attention , if not ... peer pressure . " Hm , what's peer pressure in Chinese ?! Hehe ... I don't know and I spoke it in English .... The next conversation was , " Are Singapore's roads safe ? " " Yes , there's zebra crossing , traffic light ... futhermore , there's prefects outside our School every morning ... " What's prefects in Chinese ?! I spoke it in English again .... " What do you think that causes accident to happen ? " " Um ... driver drive after drinking .... " " Do you think it's the presidents' fault ? " " Um ... at times . It it's at the zebra crossing or traffic light , it arn't ... but if they were jay walking ... yup . " " Okay , thanks . " Went to have lunch and was doing my Chemistry work when Hui Min wants us to do CME . Okay ... Hui Ming came back to the classroom , crying .... Ah well ... maybe I'm much more bold . I just read the passage , skipped words , invented new words ... overall , I was just trying to smoke the teacher . Hui Ming claimed that she had read it 3 times ... I supposed ?! Conversation ? Well ... maybe 1 , 2 English words arn't that letale ... Self Study was next .... Mr Koh allowed me to leave early ... Had tuition .... I really don't want my tutor ! He's so firce , so stress ! " It's so easy , faster . You can do it within one minute " became his motto .... " How to do ? " I asked ... " What do you mean how to do ?! You should know ! " He scolded .... He finally left , Mum left with him too ... Mum needed to help Brother to get his photos . I sat in Mum's room and called Brother to tell him so . Brother never answer my call , he cancled it ! Haiz .... suddenly ... all alone ... I cried ... all because of that tutor ... it's a mental torture ! I would ended up , not in a Junior Collage , but in a Mental Hospital , with a serval mental breakdown .... I HATE THIS TUTOR ! He's so .... no comments ! I want to change tutor ! Or was it because ... Sunday is coming ... you know ... I got to arrive infront of God as a liar ... Okay , it's not that bad ! Diana called me ... hehe ... and we both chatted for 57 minutes .... Hm , still , no one had broken the record of my longest phone call ... It was with Him ... and it lasted for more then an hour ... it was a 2 hours phone conversation ... I miss him ! Does he know that ? Does he know that I need him !?

Ms Ong was not around today , futhermore , there was 2 hours of her period . We were given some Geography MCQ questions to do . Ai Hui , Mei Qi , Hui Min and I did some CME after completing the Geography work . Mr Koh gave some Amaths work for the class too , ended up , all of them did the Amath work and we never do any CME project . Ai Hui sat with me and we both did our work . Lessons were as boring as usual .... We stayed in the classroom after normal class and I did my Chemistry Work . I went for Chinese Oral after that .... Mei Qi and Ai Hui were very kind , they let me have the honour to go first ... One pupil finished the Oral , they let me be the next pupil to be tested ....... I don't even know what was I talking about .... I flunked the conversation part too ... " 3 girls got caught for stealing things , what is your view ? " " It's the parent's fault . The girls wants to get their attention , if not ... peer pressure . " Hm , what's peer pressure in Chinese ?! Hehe ... I don't know and I spoke it in English .... The next conversation was , " Are Singapore's roads safe ? " " Yes , there's zebra crossing , traffic light ... futhermore , there's prefects outside our School every morning ... " What's prefects in Chinese ?! I spoke it in English again .... " What do you think that causes accident to happen ? " " Um ... driver drive after drinking .... " " Do you think it's the presidents' fault ? " " Um ... at times . It it's at the zebra crossing or traffic light , it arn't ... but if they were jay walking ... yup . " " Okay , thanks . " Went to have lunch and was doing my Chemistry work when Hui Min wants us to do CME . Okay ... Hui Ming came back to the classroom , crying .... Ah well ... maybe I'm much more bolder then her . I just read the passage , skipped words , invented new words ... overall , I was just trying to smoke the teacher . Hui Ming claimed that she had read it 3 times ... I supposed ?! Conversation ? Well ... maybe 1 , 2 English words arn't that lethal ... Self Study was next .... Mr Koh allowed me to leave early ... Had tuition .... I really don't want my tutor ! He's so firce , so stress ! " It's so easy , faster . You can do it within one minute " became his motto .... " How to do ? " I asked ... " What do you mean how to do ?! You should know ! " He scolded .... He finally left , Mum left with him too ... Mum needed to help Brother to get his photos . I sat in Mum's room and called Brother to tell him so . Brother never answer my call , he cancled it ! Haiz .... suddenly ... all alone ... I cried ... all because of that tutor ... it's a mental torture ! I would ended up , not in a Junior Collage , but in a Mental Hospital , with a serval mental breakdown .... I HATE THIS TUTOR ! He's so .... no comments ! I want to change tutor ! Or was it because ... Sunday is coming ... you know ... I got to arrive infront of God as a liar ... Okay , it's not that bad ! Diana called me ... hehe ... and we both chatted for 57 minutes .... Hm , still , no one had broken the record of my longest phone call ... It was with Him ... and it lasted for more then an hour ... it was a 2 hours phone conversation ... I miss him ! Does he know that ? Does he know that I need him !?

Finally asked Ms Grewal about the Geography notes during recess . She got to photocopy it , thus I went down for recess with her . On the way , she asked me to look for her early next morning and tell her which questions I would be answering for the Mid Year Exam . It was Mr Koh's lesson during the last few period . The class was given some Amaths work to do , Mr Koh have things on , and so , he wrote on the whiteboard , " Submit to Liew Mu Jie . " I have no comments ! I can easily go and have my lunch ! I caught Ms Ong walking out from 4E6 classroom and ran after her to ask her about the notes . She told me that she don't have any , she don't even have any copy herself too .Then , she asked me why one of my classmate cried . " Huh ?! I ... er .... I ... don't know . " I lied . I sort of knew the reason ... but it's not my business to tell Ms Ong . If my classmate wants Ms Ong to knows about it , she can easily tell Ms Ong herself . I sat with Ai Hui at the corridor and had some packed lunch . She remembered what happened during last year Napa ... I'm surprised ! At first , I thought , okay , at least she's showing some attention I longed for . But then , when I was about to tell her about me not going to Church again , and me lying to others , she just left me there all alone . It was so dark at the corridor ... there's no light source , only a little ... there wasn't anyone around . This corridor is not popular , furthermore , classes had been dismissed , making it more deserted then before ..... I never felt that alone before ... Never ... It's quite scary ! Nevertheless , I knew that I needed to do some soul seachering .... I should have done it long ago .... ever since the day I signed up for that thing .... Ever since that day I went Suntec with Mum .... Ever since that day , on the way back from the Jurong Island , those messages sent by Kai Xin .... I hugged my legs and put my head in between ..... suddenly , for no reason , I felt so stuff up ! But ... alas , it arn't the garden where I'm so used to crying ... thus , I never cry at all ... I went back to the classroom and the bell rang .... It's time for Self Study .... Ms Ong gave back the Chemistry Paper 1 ... 45 % is good ?! An A1 for the Combine Science ?! Nope ! It arn't good at all ! There's a lot of questions which I could have gotten it correct ! STUPID ME ! Why am I always not sure of the answers ?! Argh ! I could have passed ! It's a Pure Chemistry Paper and I could have passed ! Ms Ong wanted to check the Greenbridge Paper next ... I copied right on the spot from Ai Hui ! Thus , I was able to sit down whereas , others had to stand up as they never complete the paper up to Ms Ong's standard . Ms Ong letured us , and she ended it by calling my classamte who cried just now to go out . They both talked outside and the rest was having a huge discussion .... Ms Ong came in , and my classmate appeared seconds later ( must be wipping her tears outside before coming in ) . I went home ... using the lonely road .... There was frog legs for Dinner ... But Mum never give me ! Thank God so ! At night , I can't sleep ... I am so tired , yet I can't sleep , that's a tortue ! I felt so down ... I felt as if I'm betraying their love , care and concern for me ... I felt as if I'm lying to them , as usual , once again . Letting the history to repeat itself ! I don't know ! It seemed that ... at the end of the day .... it turned out that no one is giving me the attention I wants .... I felt so confuse ! So lost ... I felt so sad , yet I'm not frowning ... Sometimes , come to think of it .... it seems so funny to say that people are always there for me .... Haiz ... who can I look for ?! I longed for him !!!!!!!! I want him ! Him ! He holds the key to my deep secrets ... only he have the power to light up the smile on my face !!!!!!!! Can I cry .... Nope I can't ! For I am strong !

Finally asked Ms Grewal about the Geography notes during recess . She got to photocopy it , thus I went down for recess with her . On the way , she asked me to look for her early next morning and tell her which questions I would be answering for the Mid Year Exam . It was Mr Koh's lesson during the last few period . The class was given some Amaths work to do , Mr Koh have things on , and so , he wrote on the whiteboard , " Submit to Liew Mu Jie . " I have no comments ! I can easily go and have my lunch ! I caught Ms Ong walking out from 4E6 classroom and ran after her to ask her about the notes . She told me that she don't have any , she don't even have any copy herself too .Then , she asked me why one of my classmate cried . " Huh ?! I ... er .... I ... don't know . " I lied . I sort of knew the reason ... but it's not my business to tell Ms Ong . If my classmate wants Ms Ong to knows about it , she can easily tell Ms Ong herself . I sat with Ai Hui at the coridoor and had some packed lunch . She remembered what happened during last year Napfa ... I'm surprised ! At first , I thought , okay , at least she's showing some attention I longed for . But then , when I was about to tell her about me not going to Church again , and me lying to others , she just left me there all alone . It was so dark at the coridoor ... there's no light source , only a little ... there wasn't anyone around . This corridoor is not popular , futhermore , classes had been dismissed , making it more deserted then before ..... I never felt that alone before ... Never ... It's quite scarey ! Nevertheless , I knew that I needed to do some soul seachering .... I should have done it long ago .... ever since the day I signed up for that thing .... Ever since that day I went Suntec with Mum .... Ever since that day , on the way back from the Jurong Island , those messages sent by Kai Xin .... I hugged my legs and put my head in between ..... suddenly , for no reason , I felt so stuff up ! But ... alas , it arn't the garden where I'm so used to crying ... thus , I never cry at all ... I went back to the classroom and the bell rang .... It's time for Self Study .... Ms Ong gave back the Chemistry Paper 1 ... 45 % is good ?! An A1 for the Combine Science ?! Nope ! It arn't good at all ! There's a lot of questions which I could have gotten it correct ! STUPID ME ! Why am I always not sure of the answers ?! Argh ! I could have passed ! It's a Pure Chemistry Paper and I could have passed ! You see . We did the Test twice . I jotted down both my answers and I had different answers for some questions . THe result we received was the second test results . I relized that for some of the questions , my first test answer was correct , but I choosed another answer for my second test . Ms Ong wanted to check the Greenbridge Paper next ... I copied right on the spot from Ai Hui ! Thus , I was able to sit down whereas , others had to stand up as they never complete the paper up to Ms Ong's standard . Ms Ong letured us , and she ended it by calling my classamte who cried just now to go out . They both talked outside and the rest was having a huge discussion .... Ms Ong came in , and my classmate appeared seconds later ( must be wipping her tears outside before coming in ) . I went home ... using the lonely road .... There was frog legs for Dinner ... But Mum never give me ! Thank God ! At night , I can't sleep ... I am so tired , yet I can't sleep , that's a tortue ! I felt so down ... I felt as if I'm betraying their love , care and concern for me ... I felt as if I'm lying to them , as usual , once again . Letting the history to repeat itself ! I don't know ! It seemed that ... at the end of the day .... it turned out that no one is giving me the attention I wants .... I felt so confuse ! So lost ... I felt so sad , yet I'm not froning ... Sometimes , come to think of it .... it seems so funny to say that people are always there for me .... Haiz ... who can I look for ?! I longed for him !!!!!!!! I want him ! Him ! He holds the key to my deep secrets ... only he have the power to light up the smile on my face !!!!!!!! Can I cry .... Nope I can't ! For I am strong ! Libra September 23 - October 22 What the heck is going on with your feelings today anyhow ? If you don't know , it means it's probably time to start finding out . If you don't know how you feel, how will they ? I really don't know about my feelings today ... why am I suddenly so sad ?! It's time to find out ? How to find out ?! Hm , guess it's true . If I don't know how I'm feeling , how will they ?!

Ms Ong asked me about my Handphone again . " Told her already ? " "Huh ? Yes . " " What she said ? " " Just like that .... " Nothing much . Haiz ... There was some Chemistry Notes for those who take Combine Science , but there wasn't enough copies , short of 1 ... and I'm the lucky one who never get the notes ! Well , at least I'm informed about it .... You see , Ms Ong gave all the copies to one of my classmate , my classmate gave out and told me that there wasn't enough copies . Unlike Ai Hui ! She never take for me and don't even realized it ! I was away for Singapore Youth Festival that time . Lucky she brought her Geography file that time and I flipped through it ! I went with Ai Hui , Mei Qi and Angie for lunch . They were talking about the precondence to take during Napfa . I was like .... since when I bother to drink more water during Napfa ? We went back to our classroom , changed and get down to work . Then we went for Napfa . I did my Sit up with Hui Ming , she held my legs when I'm doing and I held hers when it was her turn . Actually wanted to change with Vanessa .... Standing board jump was next . Hm , guess I did what Sumathi said - Fly Mu jie ! I really flew ! We went for the Sit and reach . If I'm not wrong , I'm one of the last girls to do . Xiu Ling was helping the rest to adjust the black borad placed behind our back . When it was my turn , she just walked off like that .... Ended up , I got to call Ai Hui to help me , and she did without complaining .... Pull up was excellent ! A lot of us cheated . But I did not ! I've done it all by myself ! Celine was nearby and she cheered .... Hehe ... I was the very last girl for Shuttle run . Haha ... everyone was gone by the time I finished it ... I went with Ai Hui to intercall Ms Ong for my notes , and I though , " If she question me about my Phone once again , I would surely tell her . " But ... guess it was fate .... She was not around . I went home and came online .... I read Kai Xin's e-mail ... she had typed alot ... but I guess , to summarise it all ... it's all the same " If you need me , I'll be there for you . " Nevertheless , she did wrote about the " Footstepts " . It's the same as what I read last Sunday ... at the banner shop in Anchorpoint ! Kai Xin even called me up and told me that this coming Sunday there would be some ball games ... and she said , " If your Mum don't allow or you don't feel like talking to her , ask her to phone me . " Li Hui called too . She nagged me for my upcoming exams goal target .... Haiz .... Do I beleive in goal setting ? Do I not ?! Okay , okay , quess all of you readers are longing for my Napfa results right ?! Here it goes ..... Sit up - 27 . Standing borad jump - 184 cm . Sit and reach - 40 cm . Pull up - 20 . Shuttle run - 10.4 seconds .

Ms Ong asked me about my Handphone again . " Told her already ? " "Huh ? Yes . " " What she said ? " " Just like that .... " Nothing much . Haiz ... There was some Chemistry Notes for those who take Combine Science , but there wasn't enough copies , short of 1 ... and I'm the lucky one who never get the notes ! Well , at least I'm informed about it .... You see , Ms Ong gave all the copies to one of my classmate , my classmate gave out and told me that there wasn't enough copies . Unlike Ai Hui ! She never take for me and don't even realized it ! I was away for Singapore Youth Festival that time . Lucky she brought her Geography file that time and I flipped through it ! I went with Ai Hui , Mei Qi and Angie for lunch . They were talking about the precautious to take during Napfa . I was like .... since when I bother to drink more water during Napfa ? We went back to our classroom , changed and get down to work . Then we went for Napfa . I did my Sit up with Hui Ming , she held my legs when I'm doing and I held hers when it was her turn . Actually wanted to change with Vanessa .... Standing board jump was next . Hm , guess I did what Sumathi said - Fly Mu jie ! I really flew ! We went for the Sit and reach . If I'm not wrong , I'm one of the last girls to do . Xiu Ling was helping the rest to adjust the black borad placed behind our back . When it was my turn , she just walked off like that .... Ended up , I got to call Ai Hui to help me , and she did without complaining .... Pull up was excellent ! A lot of us cheated . But I did not ! I've done it all by myself ! Celine was nearby and she cheered .... Hehe ... I was the very last girl for Shuttle run . Haha ... everyone was gone by the time I finished it ... I went with Ai Hui to intercall Ms Ong for my notes , and I though , " If she question me about my Phone once again , I would surely tell her . " But ... guess it was fate .... She was not around . I went home and came online .... I read Kai Xin's e-mail ... she had typed alot ... but I guess , to summarise it all ... it's all the same " If you need me , I'll be there for you . " Nevertheless , she did wrote about the " Footprints " . It's the same as what I read last Sunday ... at the banner shop in Anchorpoint ! Kai Xin even called me up and told me that this coming Sunday there would be some ball games ... and she said , " If your Mum don't allow or you don't feel like talking to her , ask her to phone me . " Li Hui called too . She nagged me for my upcoming exams goal target .... Haiz .... Do I beleive in goal setting ? Do I not ?! Okay , okay , guess all of you readers are longing for my Napfa results right ?! Here it goes ..... Sit up - 27 . Standing borad jump - 184 cm . Sit and reach - 40 cm . Pull up - 20 . Shuttle run - 10.4 seconds . To know my last year results , you can go to this website ..... http://mujie.blogspot.com/2004/07/fight-all-because-of-bh-is-it-not-her.html

Mr Koh scolded the class once again . I though that I won't need to stand up ... but then ... I'm forced to stand up by Mr koh .... Haiz ... He was talking about those who got a total of grade 8 for both Maths last year .... Okay , excellent . I've got 18 ... and I got to stand up ? Hello !? I've already dropped Amath ! I still need to stand ?! It's a total ... humiliation ! Guess what's my target ?! B3 , B4 ?! It was A2 last time , now it had been lowered . I really can't aim for A2 ?! Futhermore , my grades can be better than Yi Yang , Darrick !? Please ! Those 2 guys are so excellent and clever ! How am I suppose to win them !? I stayed back after School with Natalie . Hehe , it's my first time spending such a long time with her . We even ate together .... Natalie helped Mrs Tong to mark some Science work whereas I did my work . Exams are coming ! Argh ! I met Brother at the carpark and we went home together . At night , Mum instructed me to call Dad to help me get back my Handphone ... She's not interest at all ! Haiz !

Mr Koh scolded the class once again . I though that I won't need to stand up ... but then ... I'm forced to stand up by Mr koh .... Haiz ... He was talking about those who got a total of grade 8 for both Maths last year .... Okay , excellent . I've got 18 ... and I got to stand up ? Hello !? I've already dropped Amath ! I still need to stand ?! It's a total ... humilation ! Guess what's my target ?! B3 , B4 ?! It was A2 last time , now it had been lowered . I really can't aim for A2 ?! Futhermore , my grades can be better than Yi Yang , Darrick !? Please ! Those 2 guys are so excellent and clever ! How am I suppose to win them !? I stayed back after School with Natalie . Hehe , it's my first time spending such a long time with her . We even ate some deserts together .... Natalie helped Mrs Tong to mark some Science work whereas I did my work . Exams are coming ! Argh ! I met Brother at the carpark and we went home together . At night , Mum instructed me to call Dad to help me get back my Handphone ... She's not interest at all ! Haiz !

Ms Ong asked me a question during Chemistry . " Told her already ? " " Nope . " I went home and told my Mum ... " Mum , I tell you something , but you don't get angry or scold me - my Handphone had been confiscated . " " How come ? By who ? " By a prefect ... ( a good for nothing prefect . ) . " " How come your friend knows that you Handphone is with you ? Were you using it ? " " No . There was a spot check . " I lied . " I knew that something was wrong . I called your Handphone just now . " Haiz ... I suddenly felt as if God is taking everything from me . Mum seemed to have no intention to help me get back my Handphone .

Something happened this morning , but ... well ... it's not anything bad . Had a few words with Mum and both party ended up crying . Nevertheless , I was allowed to leave the house . I rushed to Jurong Point , knowing that Kai Xin would surely be calling my Handphone by that time . We planned to meet at 10.30 am , but by the time I left , it was already 11 am ! I did some work at Jurong Point and left for Church . Instead of bumping into Yi Sin , I bumped into Brother Victor instead . We talked a little abd he commented about my looks ... whcih made me blushed . Service was really great ! Pastor Kong told us that we should run to God instead of away from God in when we heeds him the most ! I went back to Jurong Point with Yi Sin . We went to Popular and then to the KFC to have dinner . Him ... How I miss him ! Heard that ... He's trying to lure me ?!

I dragged myself from bed at 8 plus and remembered at once longing to hear the alarm of my Handphone .... Haiz . I did some work . Mum wanted to go Ikea to buy some metal rods or something to hang Brother's and my School Uniforms . I decided to go with her , as I turly doubted that I can concerntate well at home , all alone , without my Handphone . I remembered , everytime during Saturday afternoons , I would do my Maths , with my Handphone just within an arm's length . I could be at home mugging , but I thought , I need to get out of my house ! I know that I owuld not be able to survive outside in the public without a Phone since I am so used to it . But then , I believed that going out would be a better option . Futhermore , if Mum questioned me about my Phone , I can just tell her . Hm , let her speak first . Another thing , Mum wants to buy some metal rods , how can I , as her daughter , allow her to carry the rods all the way from Ikea back to Jurong West ? We went and we shopped at Level 1 . We came out and Mum brought me an ice - cream ! Hehe , it was really yummy ! We proceed to Level 2 where foods and drinks are not allow . Therefore , Mum went in first and I went in after digging fisinh my ice - cream . I almost went missing ! I got no Phone and I can't find my Mummy !!!! Nevertheless , we finally bumped into each other . There were so many mirrors and as I turned , Mum , from the another side , wanted to turn too . And thus , we scared each other . We went to the Anchorpoint to have our Dinner . We shopped a little and when home . Inside Anchorpoint , there was a shop which sell lots of signs and banners . I read almost ALL of them , and yet ... the 1 which left me the deepest impression was ... " A man who was looking at his life and he realized that God walked beside him for most of his life . Nevertheless , he can't find God's footprints on the times when he was troubled , depressed and helpless . He questioned God , and God answered " I was not walking beside you , I was carrying you . " " Turefully , I don't know how I managed to surive a day without my Handphone . Normally , on Saturday , Diana would call my Handphone , or vice versa . Did she look for me today ? I won't know . Yi Sin would message me and asked me if I would be around for Service tomorrow . We would often meet up together and take the bus together if we can . At night , I remembered the simple thing I read ... Would God really carry me when I need Him ? Had God carried me through this day ? It mad me think of him too ... I miss him ! He don't even know that I'm leaving .... Haiz .....

I'm totally pissed off and very angry . Early in the morning , the class went to the Computer Lab 6 for CME lesson . I suffed the net . Oh my , the feeling of being online once again was so excellent . It sent electricity throughtout my whole body making me feel brand new once again , as if assuring me that everything would be alright from now on . Yet , I was so wrong . There was a short circuit . Everything went so very wrong . It was to make my life much more worst then what is in the present ! It was to give me an electrical shock ! We went to the Chemistry Lab to do some pass year O Level Chemisty Paper . Hm , even those Pure Chemistry Students don't have any idea how to answer the question , what about the brainless me ? Ms Ong did came to me and asked me for the Mid - Year - Exam Time Table . She stood by my side and had a look , yet she never tell me anything about my own personal Mid - Year - Exam Time Table . I did remind myself to question Ms Ong when she was browsing throught the Paper , yet I kept my mouth shut . I believed that she would tell me when she has the answer . She's just too busy to ask on behalf of me . English was fine , English Teacher just called some of the classmates to do some oral conversation with her . Recess was next . that's where everything went so very wrong ! I called Lydia with my Handphone . I promised her that I'll call her up . There was Speech Day tonight and she wants information ... Hm , I really wonder , why should I be bounded to my promise ? She never really keep hers . Like that time , she was the one who post the invation of going to watch Disney Princess On Ice , yet , she was also the one who cancled it ! I called . Yet she was not interested ! She was talking with her friends instead while I was on the phone , trying to get down to business . I know that it's recess time and that Prefects would be around to chase us out of the classroom . " Hey ! How come Chinese Dance got Bronze only ? " Lydia asked . I told her " Can we just get into the point ? " " Okay . " " Tonight's Speech Day is at 4.30 pm . Do you want to come ? " " Um , I not sure . I got things on . House meeting . " " HUH ? " I can't hear her clearly , her background is too noisy . " House meeting . You know , like those Red Group ....... etc ..... etc ..... Yar , I'm in the Green House , and there would be a meeting . " As if I'm interested in all those ! What I want is to know if she's coming or not , yet she was talking so many rubbish ! I went back to the classroom . The Prefects were around . I got my books and was about to go down with Ai Hui , Hui Min and Hazel when Hermi B Juma'at came to me and said , " Give me your Handphone . " " Huh ? " I tired to act as if I know nothing , thinking , should I deny it , or admit it ? " Give me your phone , I saw you using it just now . " He added . I give him mine .... " Switch if off . " I off my alarm and switched it off as instructed . Confiscate my Handphone and still order me to switch it off ! All the Prefects were crowded around us . My classmates too . Everyone was looking at us .... Ai Hui and I walked to the folyer , on the way , she asked , " Mu Jie , your Phone , how ? " " Just like that . " I replied , trying so hard to be strong yet wanted to cry so hard inside . I tried my best to put on a smile , to divert the converstaion . When we finally reached the Garden , I just can't control my feelings , I felt so ..... hopeless . I cried a little . Ai Hui gave me her tissue . I tried so hard to concernate in reading the Chinese Letter Writting Test which would be held after Recess . I wipped my face . Tried once again in vian to force my mind in memorising the Letter . When suddenly ........... I lost it all . I lost all my cool . I cried and croed and cried . I cried for the all the thing which happened for the past few days . I remembered clearly those messages I've saved inside my Handphone . I rememberd His' messages ......... I remembered longing for him to be nearby at the moment . I recalled Ms Ong's very first message to me ......... I recalled wishing that she would walk out of the Teacher's Office and saw me . I never forget Mr Goh's encourging messages to me ......... I never forget that time when I cried in the School Garden with Ai Hui and he was just nearby , chatting on his Handphone . As those pasts of mine replayed curely in my mind , I can't help it . More tears flowed down my face , making it as wet as the pond right in front of me , maybe , wetter then the pond ........ Oh yes ! Ai Hui .... how our friendship had been ... how much I wished that there was somebody to talk to during those times when Mum forced me to retake Amath ........... She's around now . I'll bet with you that she would rather read her Chinese Letter Writting then to listen to me sobbing . Encourgement ..... Encourgement for me to strive ......... Encourgement for me to strive for excellent in studies ..... Encourgement for me to strive for excellent in studies via Messages ..... Encourgement for me to strive for excellent in studies via Messages from Brother ...... I replayed the time when Brother messaged me ........... I replayed the times , when Ms Ong ( why is Ms Ong back into the picture again ?! ) asked us to crowded around her in a Wednesday afternoon , asking us about our feelings of dropping Pure Science . I was messageing with Brother at that time . I can replay the messages he sent me ........ " Combine Science Students arn't failures . Stop crying over spilled milk ! " " Force and work harder for your other subjects . " And the time when I was leaving for Austraila ... his messages . Brother .......... his most recent massages to me was that time when I got home late and was foced to sleep in the living room .... I had a fight with Mum at that time ....... Mum ....... These few days with her arn't that nice . Our reationship had been on the rocks these days ........ The sound of her crying 4 nights ago played like a curse in my mind ..... Making me feel more hopeless then ever ........ Making me acting like a baby crying as if I wanted milk . Stupid Yu Hua Secondary School ! Why do the School conduct surveys , asking us about our opinion about the School . " Which one would you like - Bring Handphone to School , have lockers , better canteen foods , better maintances of the loo ? " Why have these countless of surveys when the do nothing ?! Years again and again , whole class voted for Handphones , yet whay had they done !? I don't see any improvement in the loos , they are as dirty as usual . No lockers in sight . Canteen foods are as litmited as ever . And that Hermi B Juma'at ! Who does he think he is !? Mocking me right in front of so many people ! How can I ever face those Prefects ever again , now that they all know I'm a bad girl ! Everyone looking at me , as if laughting at me , crowded around as if I'm going to strip ! Why can't we bring Handphone to School ? Even Teachers themselves don't forced us to be apart with our Phones . Teachers don't take our Phones ! Even Ms Lee , the Displine Teacher , she never even confiscate Yuhua Students' Handphones when outside the School ! Okay , so if it's " that time of the month " , I can't bring pads to School ? Worse still , are tissue papers allowded ? If I'm wearing a coloured bar , am I supose to take it off immediately? Well , Hermi B Juma'at , if you like to be in Ms Lee's good books , so and make sure your classmates don't bring any Phones to School first ! Make sure that your classmates don't bring Phones to School first before caring about other class ! Have a look at your classmates ! Are you sure they never bring any Phones to School , can you swear it with your life ?! You can't , then shut your mouth up ! Why come into 4E5 classroom can take my Phone away ?! And also , are you sure that Prefects themselves don't bring Phones to School ?! Even my class Prefects arn't that mean towards me ! They never say anything ! Unlike you , pushing your weight around , acting as if you're the boss ! Conduct a spot check in your class now ! Go and confiscate all your classmates' Handphones first ! Even my Mum returns me my Handphone ! Who do you think you are ?! You're only pushing your weight around ! Acting as if you are very BIG ! Trying to get into the good looks of those BIG Ps like Principals! You are nothing but just one tiny drop rain in a downpour ! You are nothing but just a grass on the field ! You are nothing but just a drop of sea water from the ocean ! You are nothing but a sand on the beach ! You are nothing but a drop of ink in an ink pen . You are nothing but one of those many irritating , bossy , teachers' pet people whom I've met ! Ring .... Recess was over .... Be thankful that I don't have any penknive with me . I don't know what I'll do with it . Come chasing after you ? Or break my promises ? Recess was over . I was walking back to class when Shahira asked , " Mu Jie , you're alright ? " I nooded my head . " You can ask your Mum to come to School and get it . Say like .. have urgent matter . " I nooded my head again . I never speak . I can't . I scared that I'll cry again . If things are as simple as she said .... I went to the restroom , some girls were inside . I was washing my face when I heard one girl asked the another , " Why you look at her like that ? " I rushed out of the restroom . I knew them ... used to .... Chinese Letter Writting Test was horrible . I don't know how to write . I have to brace myself up ..... I have to wipe my eyes often so that people won't know that I was crying . When Chinese Period was over , I rushed to the restroom and washed my face . 4E6 was beside my classroom . Ms Ong was inside .... She was inside the classroom .... starting her Maths lesson with 4E6 .

I now then realized that up till this day , my Emath standard is still not there yet !!!!!!! There was Amath Teast and Mr Koh gave me a Pass Year Paper from the Ten Years Series . There were so many questions which I don't know how to do ! Mr Koh instructed me to ask him questions if I don't know how to do . I did . And he helped me and it was then the truth got into my head ! The question was so simple and easy ! Haiz ! Hm , when I finally finished the allocated questions , Mr Koh asked me to help him buy lunch again ... Hehe .... Argh ! I really hate Maths ! What's all these about practices and everything ! I still can't figure out what I don't know about the subject ! Argh ! The Mid Year Examations are coming .......... What am I going to do ? Futhermore , my Science Teachers expected us to get .... GOOD GRADES ! What a joke ! I have serious doubts about PASSING !

Even though I missed School for a day and a half , it seemed like ages , especially during English Period . We were grouped into groups to discussed some Oral things . I ended up grouping with a group of Concert Band people . Well , the Concert Band had their Youth Festival yesterday , the same day as Chinse Dance . They got Gold and kept on talking about it .... I sat there and did nothing ........ there's nothing for me to do , was there ? I finally asked Ms Ong about my very own Time Table . " I'll take note of that , " she assured me . Sok Ee came back to Yuhua Secondary today . She informed me in advance .... unlike Lydia . I doubt that she would take note of me if I never call out to her that time . I actually planned to catch up with Sok Ee , face to face . And I have a great mind to tell her about the things I want to tell him ..... But alas .... God , you are putting me on trail , arn't you ? One of our junior joined us and hanged around with us , leaving me no chance to really talk to Sok Ee .... So sad. I actually planned to talk to Sok Ee after our junior left us . But by that time , Sok Ee had to go too .... To tell the truth , other then talking to Sok Ee , the truth was that I don't want to go home . At least not that early ! There were frong legs for Dinner . MUM ! It's inhuman ! You knew that I hated seafoods ! I dislike seafoods ! Yet you still forced me to digest it ! I vomited a few times during my Dinner . ~ YUCKS ~ At nigth , I can't sleep . Even though nothing happened today .... my mind when to a place of it's own . I remembered the time when Mum suddenly shut the window , it was about Midnight . Mum suddenly got up and shut the windows . I was in Primary School and had no idea why she took the trouble to do such a thing . I was curious , I've no idea what I had done to anger her once again and I don't know why she had to shut the windows . Mum pulled me out from my sit and dragged me like a dead corpse into the bathroom where a red tall pail , half filled with water was waiting for me . The next thing I knew was that she pushed my head and tried drowning me into the pail of water , depriving me of fresh oxygen . After that , Mum used the hose to spray me . I was left inside the bathroom all alone after that , crying . Another time , everyone was in bed , expect Mum and I . She was giving me Chinese Spelling , I supposed . Yet , there was a number of Chinese Character I still cannot get it correct . Mum dislike me letting my hair down , futhermore , I had fringe at that time . Mum was frustrated with my Chinese Spelling as she was very tired . She took a pair of sissiors and cut my fringe . I fought back and in the process , not only my fringe was cut , there were holes in my yellow pajamas too . I remembered clearly , the next day , I found my fringe nicely placed inside a plastic bag .

Hm , it's Singapore Youth Festival today ! We had two rounds of practices and we went into the STW room for make up and etc .... Firstly , I changed , then washed our face . I put the Foundation . Mdm Yap helped me tie my hair . ~ OUCH ~ It was so so painful ! Mdm Yap commented that my hair is very long . I was like ... Um , when I cut my hair last time , you all scolded me ! Next , I went to have my eyebrow done . I went to Miss Ang and she helped me put eyeliner . I not sure what happened but I heard that it went into my eye ?! It was not painful , but I was tearing . Hui Min was around and she grabbed a tissue and helped me wip away the eyeliner . All I know was that my neck hurts frun tilting my head high up ! Mdm Peng treated us Burgers . I had Chicked Burger . It was yummy ! Web oarded the bus and soo , we're on our way to battle ! I sat all alone on the bus .... We drove by The Oriental Hotel when I suddenly something . *HIM* Last year , or 2 years ago , my cousin was getting married in that Hotel . When we reached there , the sole of the boots which I was wearing came off . I ened up going with Dad and Brother to get a new pair of shoes . The dinner started . When eatting , Lydia messaged me , and we both sent only one or two message(s) . I dumped my Handphone inside my bag and ate the dinner . Not long after , he called ! I was like .... should I excuese myself and go out to have a nice chat with him ?! Or should I saty and let Mum listen to every words which I am saying . I ended staying , since he hung up not long after he called . How I wish that he would call me up again . I really wish to talk to him . I miss him ! If he ask me , I would surely tell him ! But the thing is , he don't know about it ! Haiz .... how come he's so distant to me now a days ? We used to be close .... Haiz . I was actually reading a novel on the bus , but when the bus passed by the Hotel , I curled myself up and don't feel like reading anymore . I miss him ........ Haiz , he can help me carry my burdens .... But .... haiz .... Distance prevents it . We reached the Kallang Theater and soon , we were invited to be on the backstage . I finally saw Yi Sin ! I had been lookign for her for so long ! We both hugged each other and gave encouragement and praises . Okay , soon , it was Yu Hua Secondary's turn . We danced . We put a smile on our faces . We did our best and most of our red tubes dropped . Futhermore , I don't believe it ! I was forced to do summersault without .... any coverings ! Argh ! We went back School chatting all the way . Nevertheless , I sat alone once again . We passed by the Hotel again .... We reached the STW room and everyone started washing up ! There's so many gels on my hair ! I can't bear it and used the hose found inside the girls restroom and used it . I stayed back for Self Study with my wet hair . Haiz ! There wasn't any Teachers around , and I can easily leave the room since I have excuse . I went home and used the computer . Mum forced me to apologise to her again ! Therefore , I shut down the computer and had a nap before bathing . In the middle of my bath , Melody messaged me . " We got bronze " I was like .... feelingless . Miss Ang was the next to message me . Haiz .... seemed that we really got a bronze . Yi Sin called me up and she got a Silver ! Haiz ... nevertheless , it would be treasured in my heart .

I almost cried infront of the whole class ! Mr Koh actually said that the Vectors Test is in the morning ! And now he wanted to change the time and he blamed me for not telling him that I have Chinese Dance Practice ! " At least Yi Xin told me . Why you now then say !? Stand up ! " He shouted . I stood up and tried in vain to defend myself " You said ......... it's ... from 11.50 am to ...... " " You do tomorrow morning during PE lesson . " He instructed . " I ..... I tomorrow .... have .... SYF " I mumbled to myself . All of us got the Mid Year Exam Time Table today . Well , there's something wrong ... I mean .... One of my Paper was in the second half of the day , but do I need to report for the Flag Rising and etc ?! I don't know . Chinese Dance practice was tiring ! Futhermore , there was Speech Day Rehearsal ! Therefore , we danced with schoolmates looking at us .... Brother was trying to repair the computer when Mum asked " Can , or not ?! Need my help ? I know how to repair . " Yar right ! Guess you only know how to make it spoilt !

I went to Jurong Point for some Study Group with Kai Xin . Hm , the homeworks were very easy ! Yet I don't know how to do . Damn it ! How am I going to pass my upcoming GCE O level ? Well , let me pass the Mid Year Exam first ! I went Church and Yi Sin was not around . Sigh , there was a preaching by some Pastor from the States . It was very powerful . Maybe , it's due to my absent for the past Services ? Those video played by the Chruch Crew was so touching ! Sometime , really , I should have counted my blessings one by one . The first viedo was about a girl . Her parents were divorced , I supposed . She was so lonely and sad ! Other viedos were very nice too . I almost weeped while watching ..... If only Yi Sin was around . Since Yi Sin was not around , I went home after the Service and never join my Cell Group for Fellowship . When I got home , I was very tired and went to have a nap . I woke up and there was an urged to use the Computer since all my work were done in the morning , but Brother don't allow me to use ! Even Mum was supportive of me using the Computer ! Nevermind , it was near Dinner time anyway . So , I went to the Dinning table and sat down . Was about to dig in when Mum accused me of using her Handphone and never put it back . I was totally fed up and shouted back at her . Brother was the one who never put Mum's Handphone back ! Why is she always accusing me for no good reason !??? I simply hate people like her , anyhow accuse me for things which I never do . So what if she was supportive of me using the Computer ? Was she supportive of my dream to become a theatre actress ? I don't have a Mum like her ! I managed to use the Computer after Dinner and Mum demanded an apologize . Hm , wait long long ! Why should I say " Sorry " when I'm not at fault ?! I am a human too , I have dignity and my own principle too ! Why should I apologize to someone who don't believe in her own daughter ? Why should I say the word when it arn't my fault ?! There was the NKF show on air . During commercial break , Mum came and stood my the Computer . I was blogging and suffing the net at the same time . I managed to get into a Dicitionary website and began reading about the Science definitions . Mum went away after some time when she realized that she had been acting as a fool . After awhile , she came back to the same place once again . This time round , she cursed and slapped me on my left smooth cheek . She don't dare to " face the music " of what she did to me and tus went away once again . Whereas I continued using the Computer . Mum exploded after a few mimutes and she went to the CPU and pulled the mouse wire out of it's hole . The computer went haywire and it shut down by itself . Nevermind , it saved me the task of shutting down the Computer without a mouse . I don't gaive a damn . Mum's that crazy , so why should I be bothered by her actions ?!!

It's so scarey ! My stomach gave me problems in the mroning ! I'm not sure what happened , but was glad that Ms Ong choosed to have her Chemistry lessons in the Chemistry Lab . In the Lab , I can easily cure up my legs without other classmates noticing . I was only crouch , I can't sit upright and thus , making my legs feel sore and tired . Argh ! Guess what ! After days without keys , I finally fount it today ! Hehe ... never even realized that my keys when missing ! I was on my way to dinner when my stomach went crazy once more ! Argh ! Maybe the though of Dinner made my stomach contract ! It arn't appetizing and appealing enough ! Hotdog bun , chicken wing and chicken drumstick are okay . But .... there's 2 Sushi ... which made me sick !

There was some Amath test during the last few period . Mr Koh gave me some Ten Years Series questions to do . Hm , and he asked me help him buy for him lunch ! " You go home and read up and do the questions . If don't know must ask me .... you fcan go now . " Thanks a lot ! But then , I don't dare to ask him questions ........ English Teacher was not around for Self Study . I was outside the classroom when Ai Hui came out . " I'm dead . " I told her plainly . " Read my inbox . " I instructed . And Ai Hui did as told . But she went in acter returning me my Handphone . I was like ......... Hello ?!!!!!!!! I'm in a big hot soup now and you just went into the classroom like that !? Actually , those messages are from .... Kai Xin . She wanted to hear my part of story after hearing Mum's sudden decision . I went inside the classroom and gathered around with Mei Qi , Li Xin , Xiu Ling , Wei Wen .... etc .... Chemistry Self Study was next and we got back out Chemistry Paper 1 test paper . 18/35 , I supposed . But Ms Ong said that those taking Combine Sciences and produced this type of result can get an A1 for Science , Chemsitry . Is it true ? Is it not ? I'm not sure .....

Haiz . My period came and it feels like hell . I don't feel like going for Chinese Dance Practice . We were in the Hall for Practice and I was sleeping when we were asked to dance the dance one more round . I was cursing when Anna said " If you want to dance , then do it whole-heartedly , or else you can quit . " " I am going to quit , after the Youth Festival . " Haiz ..... No one understands how terrible I was feeling ! I was feeling very hot , dizzy and stomach cramp all over my body ! I know , stomach cramp was ... normal . But then , hot and dizzy ? I doubt so ! I was feeling so sick and yet I was forced to dance ! I won't be surprise if I fain during the dance ! Haiz ....... Yup , I was dizzy and yet I did somersault ........ can you believe it ?! I must be a touch in the head ! No wonder I was feeling dizzy . I don't know how to take good care of myself ! Hm .... I sent a forwarding message and Mr Goh replied . Only 3 to 4 messages were sent .......... Come to think of it ....... I still owe him an e-mail ....... Opps ! Other day , maybe ....

I was on the way down for recess with Ai Hui when she claimed that she has a stomache ! Hello ! As if I believe her ! As if i don't know what a real stomache is like ! If she don't want to come down for recess , just say so ! Was there a need to lie !?! Sok Ee came back to Yuhua Secondary School , yet she hang around with her friends ! Futhermore , an irony thing - I was eatting all alone in the canteen and just a few tables infront of me , my classmates ( Ai Hui , Mei Qi , Tian Tian , Zhi Hui ... etc ) was sitting just beside my Chinese Dance juniors ( Hui Min , Anna , Yi Xin , Shi Jiao ... etc ) Irony right ?! I was all alone eattign whereas I can easily join them ! I sat alone in the coach . Lucky there was only one class going to Jurong Island and the coach has more than enough space ! Mr Khor asked , " Mu Jie , why sit alone ? " " Huh . Ai Hui not here . " Ms Ong sat beside me . The first thing she asked was , " How's your Mum , she still wnats you to re - take Amath ? " " Huh ..... No . " And that's all ........... Haiz . How I wish that she would say somemore . I mean ..... ask me questions ... etc .... Gee . So , we reached the Jurong Island and we explore around in the ChemGallery . Hm ... we were guided by one of the workers and were given a sheet of quiz to complete . I was alone , planning to copy the answer from my classmates . Haiz ... I walked around ......... I was looking at the display of the whole Jurong Island when Ms Ong came and talked to me . We were talking about some topics when Ms Ong asked Xiu Ling and Li Xin some questions and soon , other classmates crowded around us . We board the coach and were given a tour around the Jurong Island . It reminds me of the time in Austraila . I was sitted in the coach , in the same seat , expect that the coach was different . I miss Austraila ! When we were on our way back to School , I switched on my Handphone and realized that there was a message from Kai Xin . Hm , it turned out that Kai Xin had contected Mum , wanting to ask her why bring me for tomb sweeping when Mum told her that she don't want me to go to Chruch anymore . She wants me to study . There was some Message tone and it alerted Ms Ong . She asked , " Your Mum ? " Nope ....... It's more than that . I can easily share about my Sunday with Ms Ong . But there wasn't a need to . As long as I know that she's always there for me , I'm delight and content with that !

It's such a cold day today ! The first period for this morning was Chemistry and I was already falling asleep ! How to carry on for the rest of the day ! I usually eat Laksa on such a cold day like this , instead , I was craving for it throughout the whole day ! When the second recess bell finally rang , I dashed down to the canteen to realized that the Laksa stall was not open ! When I finally reached home , I drank a cup of hot Milo at once ! Brother came home after I finish the cup of drink , which means , i was actually able to bump into him if I was slower ! At night , Brother agreed to change Handphone with me , without me begging him ! Libra September 23 - October 22 The future's in your hands -- try to be careful so you don't drop it . Look at it from as many different angles as you can -- and make sure to include your lover's perspective in the mix . Haha . My future ? Hm ... of couse it's in my hand . It's always in my hand . But how many different angles could there be ? Libra September 23 - October 22 Yell if it makes you feel better , but make sure you're shouting in the right direction . Don't tell your best friend where to go when you're really mad at yourself . You're full of emotion , but you need to strike a balance . Haha .... I'm allowed to yell all I want if it's in the right direction ! Gee ... I'm full of emotion ? Haha ... Libra September 23 - October 22 You're not one to get discouraged when romance isn't progressing , and why should you when there's so much else to appreciate about life ? Stop and smell the proverbial roses -- they're still sweet when you're solo . Okay , so here I am .... all solo ........

I left my Chinese Tuition at 10 am and went to board a taxi with Mum to the tample to pay respect to my Dad's Mum . When Mum and I reached there , we can't find Brother and Dad . We tried calling them so many times when finally , one of them realized that their Handphone was ringing ! We found our relative and ate lunch - Duck , Chicken , Pork ... etc .... etc . Mum wanted to go to Suntec after that and she invited me to go with her . I don't really wish to go with her , but she was looking forward to it . Thus , I'm left with no choice but to go with her whereas Brother and Dad went home . We shopped at the City Link before going to Suntec . When we reached Suntec , we went to shop around again . Mum and I went to the Carefour and brough some food for Dinner . Honey Chicken , Pizza , Drinks ..... etc ........ etc ..... I was thinking that we would go home after our purchases .......... Instead , Mum brought me to some place . At there .... I was forced to sign up for something . Worse , it is going to be held full day on Sunday ! How am I going to go to Church then ?! I was tricked ! What am I suppose to do !? I rushed home and ate Dinner with Mum and Brother and watched Television - Turn Left , Turn Right . Oh . How I wish that he would message me once again ..... Askign about my life ...... I would surly tell him the truth to everything ! I miss you ......... But .... whould he care ? He's no longer related to me again .... Haiz .... Love ......... It's so confusing !